While stranded on a deserted island, Peter asks the guys if they'd rather be blind or a midget. All three of the guys choose blind in a heartbeat. Cleveland believes his lack of vision would heighten his other senses to superhuman levels. Quagmire says that as a blind man, he can pretend every woman he sleeps with with Cheryl Tiegs. Joe chooses blindness because that way, he won't have to see Meg's ugly face anymore, when he goes to Peter's house. Appalled by the reception, Peter rants about how as a diminutive, you could ride a unicycle, smoke bubblegum cigars, and get involved with all sorts of wacky antics. The trio gets convinced to change their answers to being midgets as this does sound more fun.
Peter follows this up with another would you rather; black or crippled. Obviously, Cleveland and Joe didn't take too kindly to this one, as they, themselves, were black and crippled, respectively.
Cleveland poses the question to Peter and Quagmire that if they were forced to choose, would they rather have sex with Johnny Depp or Richard Grieco. The two are initially disgusted by this, as they don't like doing gay would you rathers but Cleveland tells them that if they're really secure with their masculinities, then they should have no problem answering a simple hypothetical. Quagmire hesitantly goes with Johnny Depp as he sort of looks like a chick. Peter rambles about how he believes Richard Grieco would appreciate him more as opposed to Johnny Depp, who seems like he'd be too good to care about him if he had sex with him. However, he then waffles on over to Depp, considering the financial security that would come with it.
Peter asks Cleveland if he would rather do Halle Berry or the six-hour-dead corpse of Queen Latifah. Cleveland finds himself stumped and despite the question being specifically for Cleveland, Quagmire and Joe chime in. Quagmire asks what she died of and Peter says AIDs. Quagmire reminisces about all the good times he's had with AIDs-ridden chicks and chooses a night with the late Queen Latifa. Joe heavily considers her as well, saying that as a cop, he's seen plenty of six-hour-dead bodies and they weren't too bad. Just to clarify, Cleveland asks if Halle Berry is dead and Peter ensures him that she's alive but still half white, so Cleveland goes with Halle Berry.
At the gentlemen's club, Quagmire asks Peter if he would have sex with Cleveland if it meant he would get to have sex with Angelina Jolie afterward. Peter thinks for a minute and says that he'd probably do it. Making sure Peter wouldn't try to weasel his way out of that one, Quagmire tells Peter that his intercourse with Cleveland would have to be missionary and he is obligated to look him straight in the eyes and not pretend it's anyone else. Peter gives Cleveland a glance of consideration and says that the answer is still a liquid yes. Cleveland thanks Peter for the complimentary answer.
Quagmire asks the guys if they'd rather have sex with a very pregnant Gina Gershon or Jenny McCarthy after a car accident. This question only raises more questions with the other guys, as they inquire how far along in her pregnancy is Gina and just how badly has Jenny McCarthy been mutilated in this accident.
Peter gets sick of how all of the would you rathers are sexual and decides to pose a chaste inquiry. Peter asks the guys if they would rather start a small business with Janet Reno after a safari or Randy Hickey from My Name is Earl. Cleveland asks what Randy's credit rating is and Peter says that it's 651. Cleveland admits that 651 ain't too shabby and Joe says that it's better than his own. Cleveland asks if he has an plan or if he needs to come up with it himself. Peter says that Randy has an idea for a solid business plan but it's not quite there. Quagmire states that he'd go with Reno because he's always had an idea for a business of delivering prescription medications straight to people's homes, which he believes is right up her alley. Joe gets frustrated with this and screams that he wants to talk about vaginas.
Peter asks the guys if they'd rather do Susan Boyle or a sex doll that's been passed around a fraternity. Weighing his options, Joe asks how clean the doll is as if he'd take his chances with the doll if he could avoid Susan Boyle.
Quagmire cuts in with a lame would you rather that's really an investment pitch, asking Peter if he'd rather tread water where he is right now or increase his network five-fold within the next 18 months.