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When You Wish Upon a Weinstein
Season 2, Episode 21
WHen You Wish Upon a Winstein
Air date February 8, 2000
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When You Wish Upon a Weinstein is the twenty-first episode of the second season of Family Guy. It is the thirty-ninth episode, overall.

Synopsis[]

The day that Peter buys volcano insurance is the day that Lois becomes fed up with their constant money problems. When Peter wishes for a Jewish "money guy" to help them, Mort Goldman shows up at their door asking to use the phone to call for a tow. After meeting Mort, Peter decides Chris could be successful if he converted to Judaism as soon as possible.

Plot[]

Peter gives Lois’ 'rainy day fund' to a scam artist selling volcano insurance. On that same night Stewie breaks Meg’s glasses, because he hates being watched while he sleeps, and so Lois tells Peter that he needs to recover the money to buy their daughter a new pair of glasses. Depressed by his financial woes, Peter is interested when Quagmire and Cleveland describe great financial successes attained after hiring men with Jewish-sounding names and decides that he needs a Jew to handle his money.

When Mort has car trouble outside the Griffin house, Peter takes it as a sign and after a foot chase, Peter pressures Mort into helping him get the emergency money back. Mort later recovers the money from the scammer. After accompanying Mort to synagogue and inviting him over for dinner, Peter comes to the conclusion that Chris would get better grades and be more successful if he converted to Judaism. After Lois displays objection to his idea, the two sneakily drive to Las Vegas for a quickie Bar Mitzvah, from an idea from Fargus from when he converted to Judaism.

Lois learns of the Bar Mitzvah from Brian (by means of torturing him with a dog whistle) and borrows Quagmire's car. She arrives just in time to stop the ceremony, but the congregants, angry that Lois is apparently insulting their religion, attack the Griffins. The family escapes just in time, locking the synagogue's door using a large star of David and getting back home on through their car. Lois points out that one's success is not based upon religion, and Peter realizes the error of his ways and makes up to the family.

Characters[]

Major Roles[]

Minor Roles[]

Quotes[]

Chris: Dad, can you help me with my math? Mr. Shackleford says if I don't learn it, I won't function in the real world.
[cut to Chris talking to a hick at a rundown gas station]
Man: What you gotta do is go down the road past the old Johnson place. You're gonna find two roads, one parallel and one perpendicular. Keep going until you come to a highway that bisects it at a 45 degree angle. Solve for x.
Chris: [lies on ground and sucks thumb]

[Stewie wakes up, seeing Meg]
Stewie: Ahh! What the hell are you doing?!
Meg: Watching you sleep, cutie-pie.
Stewie: Why you sick, sick moo-cow! Well, you shall watch no more!

Peter: Yeah it was just like that other Jewish musical we saw.
William Shatner: Oh fiddler on the roof sounds crazy no? But here in our little village of Annatanka you might say each one of us... Kahn!... Kahn!

Lois: I can't believe you squandered that money! I swear, sometimes I feel like I'm married to a child. [cutaway to Lois and Peter's wedding]
Peter: What can I say about my beautiful bride except milk, milk, lemonade. Around the corner, fudge is made! [cut back to the living room]
Peter: You better watch who you're calling a child, Lois. Because if I'm a child, then do you know what that makes you? A pedophile. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna stand here and be lectured by a pervert.

Peter: They better not be expecting us to give money, because I gave at the church last Sunday, and I'm pretty sure it all goes to the same God.

Quagmire: Hey guys and dolls! Drinks are on do re mi!

Lois: No Mother, I do not think I'd be better off married to a chimp.

Mort Goldman: Return his money and we'll go.
Jim Kaplan: I don't have your money!
Mort: How about that money?
Jim Kaplan: No way! That's Lois' rainy day fund! Dammit!

Jerry Seinfeld: So, You couldn't date her because she was a tickler.
George Costanza: A tickler.
Jerry Seinfeld: And you're not a stickler for a tickler.
George Costanza: Not a stickler for a tickler.
Jerry Seinfeld: Not a tickler stickler.
George Costanza: Not a tickler stickler.
Both: [Absurd babbling]
Brian: Where the hell is the remote?

Peter: Hey, look! I didn't know the principal of Meg's school was Jewish. Hey, there's Bill Nye, the Science Guy and half of Lenny Kravitz. (turns around to see his old teacher, Randall Fargus) Mr. Fargus? You're Jewish?
Randall Fargus: Well, more recently. Eliza was Jewish, and since I was kinda an Atheist, why not get into her religion? [takes out his hat and scarf] And I feel the close bond with her coming.

Mort: I'm sorry, son. I have to go. But I'm sure you'll do just fine.
Peter: I don't know, Mort, the kid's not exactly an honor roll student. Watch.
[As to show an example, he slaps Chris on the back of his head]
Chris: Hey!
Peter: He did it.
[Peter points to lamp, assuming Chris will assault the lamp. However, after a small beat, Chris just slaps him back the same way he did and goes upstairs to use the bathroom]
Peter: Okay, maybe that wasn't the best example, but ya get my point.

Chris: Where we going?
Peter: Son, it's too late for me and Meg's a girl, but for you, the sky's the limit.

Peter: Well, there's only one thing that'll top a great dinner like that: [shows the game box] Operation!
Lois: May I play?
Stewie, Chris, Meg: Mom!

Stewie: [to Meg] In an attic somewhere, there's a portrait of you getting prettier.

Peter: I'm sorry, Lois. I just wanted our son to be Jewish so he'd be smarter. Then maybe his wife wouldn't be sorry she didn't marry the chimp next door.
Lois: Oh, Peter, just because Steven makes more money than you doesn't mean he's any smarter. And I think Chris will do just fine.
Peter: How do you know that?
Lois: Because I have faith in him, the way I have faith in you. Besides, a person's religion is no guarantee of success.
Peter: I see what you're saying. The Jewish are just like us. No better, no worse.
Chris: Yeah, and as they say, "בסוף זה יסתדר מצוין..,".
Lois: What?
Peter: I think what he's trying to say is everything's gonna be okay... right?
Fargus: Yeah, pretty much.

Song[]

Trivia[]

  • When Lois sets off in pursuit of Peter in Quagmire's car, her departure reveals Quagmire's not wearing anything under his robe.
  • After Stewie breaks Meg’s glasses, he holds up an undetermined long brown object and asks her whether it’s a Toblerone or a “poopie.”
  • Peter tells Mort “Thanks for Spaceballs!", a Star Wars parody, written and directed by Mel Brooks, who is Jewish. Also, later in the episode Peter mentions Raiders of the Lost Ark; that movie’s director, Steven Spielberg, is also Jewish, as is the star, Harrison Ford.
  • When the nuns are leaving the church and boarding the bus, the Batman villain Penguin is outside jumping for joy going “Excellent, excellent!” and delivers his signature laugh. The gag is a nod to the slang term “penguins” which is often used to describe nuns due to their traditional black and white uniforms, and the fact that the Penguin used trained penguins in his crimes. Furthermore, in the old Batman series, Penguin’s henchmen wore black and white costumes, the same colors as the nuns’ habits.
  • The local Quahog synagogue is called “Temple Beth Thupporting Actor”, parodying synagogue names beginning with the words of “Temple Beth” and the speech disorder, the lisp.
  • When Chris is getting Bar Mitzvahed, he is reading from the Torah. However, the prayer he is reading is the blessing before the torah, which is read in a prayerbook, not a Torah.
  • Peter and Chris drive all the way to Las Vegas. In real life, Las Vegas, NV is 2,790 miles from Providence, RI. Driving one way between those cities would take 3 days.
  • Peter tries to make Chris Jewish, but in "Family Goy", both he and Lois learn that she, and thus Chris, is Jewish, making the act redundant in foresight.
  • The synagogue Mort Goldman and the Griffins go to is a Reform synagogue.
  • At the beginning of the episode there is a parody of the Lifetime channel, making fun of female stereotypes and calling the channel “Lifetime: Television for Idiots.”
  • The censored version of this episode edits the part where Quagmire is getting his car keys so it doesn’t look like he’s masturbating in front of Lois.
  • Peter asks for an autograph from Tony Robbins, and Tony replies “TONY ROBBINS HUNGRY” and swallows Peter, much like a snake devours its prey.
  • A short cutaway gag, Star Wars character Luke Skywalker, who wields a lightsaber to execute the surgery on the encouragement of Obi-Wan Kenobi.
  • Lois and Brian watch a clip from Seinfeld, where George and Jerry are conversing and repeating themselves, which is a common theme in the show. The show's star, Jerry Seinfeld, is Jewish.
  • When Peter says that people have taken credit for the achievements of Jews for too long, a cutaway reveals Woody Allen writing Louis Farrakhan’s speeches. Allen then complains that he hasn’t been so humiliated since he was at the Friars Club and Previn Soon-Yi’s retainer fell out of his pants.
  • Randall Fargus shows up to the Quahog synagogue for the Sabbath service, revealing to be a new Jew.

Controversy[]

The episode is know for only airing once and being off the air for a long while due to some FOX network executives being concerned that the episode could be construed as anti-Semitic, and made the decision not to re-air the episode. Even though, Seth MacFarlane mentioned that he showed the script of the episode to two rabbis, both of whom approved the episode “because Peter learns the right lesson at the end.” MacFarlane also points out that the writer, Ricky Blitt, is Jewish himself; as is Ben Stein, who plays the Rabbi. One line that caused concern occurs during Peter’s song when he sings “Even though they killed my Lord, I need a Jew,” in the song “I Need a Jew”. MacFarlane recorded an alternate version of the line, replacing “Even though they killed my Lord” with “I don’t think they killed my Lord” which was used when Adult Swim aired the episode and then when FOX re-ran the episode. TBS also airs this episode with the alternate line, even though the original line is shown in closed captioning, and if one reads Peter’s lips, he’s saying the original line. When the episode airs in Israel, the original line appears. MacFarlane defends the original line giving a “consider the source” defense. Plenty of previous episodes, as well as this episode, make the point that Peter lacks very general knowledge as well as knowledge of his own Catholic religion.

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