Vasectomy Teaching
The Vasectomy Song is a song sung by the Barbershop Quartet in "Sibling Rivalry". In it, the quartet teaches the uneducated Peter what a vasectomy is, whereas to convince him to get one.


Quartet: A vasectomy's a medical procedure,
One that makes you half a man.
You're half a man.
Remember when you twisted up your garden hose?
Well, essentially, that is the plan.
That is the plan.
Peter (Speaking): Well, I'm startin' to get the picture, but how's it done?
Quartet: You make a small incision in the scrotal skin,
Isolate the vas and then, isolate the vas and then,
You hold it in position with a towel clamp.
Then you snip the fibrous tissue.
Basso: Then you snip the fibrous tissue.
Quartet: Hey but you'll never have to wear a condom,
When you do it with your wife,
...or anyone else you do it with. We promise not to tell, like that new hot chick at work. You know, the one who always has high beams under her ribbed-white cotton T-shirt, but then stares daggers at you for checking her out, and it's like, why do you wear that if you don't want attention? But you know you shouldn't think that way because of the sexual harassment meeting you all had to go to. Seriously, how lame was that? And you couldn't help but notice that the female lawyer running the seminar had a huge rack, like, ridiculously huge for someone who has to talk about that kind of stuff. Well, I guess that's the definition of the word...
Basso: Goodbye.
Quartet: Say goodbye to manhood.
Basso: Goodbye.
Quarter: Say goodbye to babies.
Basso: Goodbye.
Quartet: Say goodbye to kids like Meg.
Basso: Vacuum out your sack.


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