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The First Antic 

(The webcam is running)

Valerie: Hello everyome, I’m Valerie Griffin, student at the Bionic Academy, and today I would like to talk about Chanel Oberlim, who was involved in a murder two years ago, Well here’s the thing-Chanel Oberlin is actually Madonna

Chanel: AHHHHHHHH!

Valerie: Madonna has stayed the same age since the 1980s, meaning that she has a power that allows her to do so, and used Chanel Oberlin to keep her powers a secret

Chanel: I’ll get you for this Valerie! VALERIE! VALERIE! VALERIE!

The Birthday Antic 

(Valerie is watching the Family Guy episode Peters Progress)

(Madonna is having her 16th borthday)

Valerie: This gives me an idea for a new antic

(1974)

(Valerie goes back in time)

(Maonna actually has brown hair)

Valerie: Huh. Alright lets not dillydally

(Valerie finds the punch bowl)

(Valerie pours in punch and then hot sauce)

Valerie: Hey Madonna, want some punch?

Madonna: Sure

(drinks it)

Madonna: AAH! IT’S TOO HOT!

(Valerie laughs)

Valerie: Ah, happy birthday old timer. Here’s to antics

Everyone: To antics

The Waterslide Antic 

Guy: You okay Madonna

Madonna: I was trying to have a good night sleep but someone didn't let me have the rest of it. You probably know who it is

CUTAWAY

Valerie: Okay Chase, get the camera ready

(Turns on the lights)

Madonna: AHHHH!

(Valerie shows a fake chainsaw at her)

Valerie: Never felt more awaken have you old timer?

Madonna: Valerie! Why don't you pull your messed up antics somewhere else

END OF CUTAWAY

Guy: So that's why you didn't sleep

Madonna: yeah, but Vale-rat thought it wasn't enough with that antic she pulled off in the middle of the night. She sent me down a waterslide

CUTAWAY

Valerie: On the count of three we throw her down a waterslide. 3...2...1...now!

Madonna: What?! NOOOOOOOOOO! AHHHHHH! I'll get you for thIs Valerie! Valer(falls in the water) ahh!

END OF CUTAWAY

Guy: Is that it?

Madonna: Unfortunately that didn't end there since the wankstain decided to pull another antic

CUTAWAY

Valerie: Don't wake up her, you know the temper she had. 3...2...1...now!

(Throws her off the catapult)

END OF CUTAWAY

Madonna: Bring me that imbecile Valerie! VALARIE! VALARIE VALARIE!

Greatest of the 80s 

Es gibt einen Namen, der immer durch Himmel, Land und Meer hallt. Ich bin die große Valerie, der Streich zieht. Alle Männer wollen mich, sie haben meine Beine. Aber es gibt nur einen Mann für mich und er heißt Chase Davenport. Meine Augen sind wie Diamanten, meine Haare sind wie die von Rapunzel. Wenn es um gutes Aussehen geht, können Sie sehen, dass ich die Nummer eins bin. Ich mag es, Madonna zu trollen, es macht sie wirklich wütend. Ich bin die große Valerie, die beste der 80er. Das Beste der 80er Jahre von 1983. Das Beste der 80er Jahre von 1983. Alle Kinder wissen, dass es wahr ist. Verdammt. Ich werde immer der Beste der 80er sein. Was für ein wundervolles Mädchen ich bin.

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