Quagmire Using Tinder.png

Tinder Makes You So Gross (also known as That's the Tinder) is a musical number, sung by Peter Griffin and Kimi Quagmire in the episode The Dating Game.


Kimi: There was a time when you'd be more selective
When you were horny and feeling erective
Peter: Now one swipe and there's thousands to bone
All from a sex app you use on your phone
Cleveland: That's the Tinder!
Peter: A lot of sad, lonely gals who want babies
Three hundred pounders infested with scabies
Kimi: Leather gimps who do nothing but moan
These are the weirdos you find on your phone
Joe: You know, a surprising number of them live near the airport.
Peter, Kimi, Joe & Cleveland: Gonorrhea, HPV-a
Peter & Kimi: You will catch a do-o-ose
Of blisters and itching and genital warts
Cuz Tinder makes you...so gross
Peter: And for kids it's kind of tragic
Kimi: Sex for them has lost it's magic
Peter: Banging every Tom and Dick and Jane and Jack and Jill and Joan
Kimi: And this also might surprise ya
Peter: All your married friends despise ya
Peter & Kimi: Cuz we're not allowed to have an orgy through our phone
Peter, Kimi, Joe & Cleveland: You're perverted, barely human
Peter & Kimi: You're not even clo-o-ose
Peter: A filthy degenerate seeking a thrill
Kimi: Your spirits and genitals run though the mill
Peter & Kimi: With plenty of hoes and prescriptions to fill
Peter, Kimi, Joe & Cleveland: Cuz Tinder makes you so gross!

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