Jess Cats and Brian.png

The Five Day Marriage is the second episode of Season 17 of Family Guy and the four hundred and second episode overall. This episode is a direct continuation of the previous episode, "Married ... With Cancer".


Brian and Jess move into the Spinazola Apartments and Brian has to deal with the fact that he's going to be married to her forever. Meanwhile, Meg blackmails Peter and Lois.




Major Roles

Minor Roes


Lou: [offscreen] Welcome back, Brian.
[Lou enters and the live studio audience cheers]
Audience Member: That's Lou, the apartment manager, from when Brian moved out!
Lou: Ain't that something to flip your biscuit?
[Live studio audience laughs]
Brian: What?
Lou: That's my thing I say, remember?
Brian: Oh, ... uh, no I ... I can't imagine anyone does.

Stewie: So, Bri, this is once again your Hell hole. I was going to help you move in, but you don't really own anything, do you?
Brian: Yeah, we didn't bother to register for gifts because [shouting to Jess] she was supposed to die!

Tom: Well, Brian, I think I speak for all of us, when I say: If you ever take that love away from Jess, I hope people walk right up to you on the street and punch you in the junk.

Brian: Ain't that something to flip your biscuit?
[The live studio audience is completely silent]
Brian: Nothing?

Brian: Somebody call 9-1-1!
[An ad for the show, "9-1-1" appears on screen]
Brian: Dammit, Fox! That's not an invitation to ruin our moment to expand your media empire!
[An ad for "Empire" shows up]
Brian: [sigh] Son of Zorn.
[A "File Not Found" error message shows up]
Brian: Ha!



Cultural References

  • The title of this episode is a pun on the movie, "The Five-Year Engagement".
  • Brian asks for 9-1-1 when Jess collapses from choking, a FOX bumper for the show 9-1-1 appears in the corner of the screen to Brian's frustration. When he calls them out for expanding the 'media empire,' another plug for the show Empire appears. When he asks for the then-canceled show Son of Zorn, he is amused when a 'file not found' sign appears.
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