| The Dating Game | |
|---|---|
| Season 14, Episode 8 | |
| |
| Air date | November 8, 2015 |
| Episode Guide | |
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The Dating Game is the 8th episode of the fourteenth season of Family Guy. It is the 330th episode, overall.
Synopsis[]
Quagmire discovers the "dating" app Tinder while Kimi's, forcing Peter, Joe and Cleveland to intervene and save him from his soul-sucking hedonism. Meanwhile, Stewie finds out that he has scoliosis and learns the perks of his latest diagnosis.
Plot[]
When a medieval-themed restaurant building goes up for auction, Peter and the guys try to buy it but are beat out by Mayor West and his friends. Deciding to take the "castle" the old-fashioned way by force, their flaming arrows set it on fire. However, there are no hard feelings when they all have drinks back at the bar. As Mort heads out for a sexual liaison arranged on Tinder, the guys have to explain it to Quagmire who quickly discovers that it can be both a blessing and a curse.
When the guys get ready for a golf game, they're interupted by Kimi, who brings them to Quagmire's house to show them what Quagmire's become thanks to Tinder: A troll-like creature. Their attempts to make him realize what he has become are rebuffed, but when a girl flirts with him at the bar, he realizes that he has lost his original sex-hunting skills, but they quickly come back to him as he scores with the girl after spinning a yarn about a dead twin brother. As they leave, the guys congratulate themselves for getting him back to his old self, having set him up with a hooker before he hooked up with serial killer roaming Quahog. But when the real hooker arrives, they resign themselves to Quagmire's demise and put her to work as a goal tender while they kick soccer balls.
Meanwhile, Stewie suffers from a sore back and finds he has scoliosis. When he is forced to wear a brace, he is spoiled by everyone. But when his back is fixed, he continues to wear the brace for attention until he finds that his neck muscles have atrophied and can no longer support his head. When he is forced into larger brace system, he finds that the novelty quickly disappears, leaving him the object of ridicule for years.
Characters[]
Major Roles[]
Minor Roles[]
- Lois Griffin
- Brian Griffin
- Bonnie Swanson
- Donna Tubbs-Brown
- Jerome Cool J
- Rupert
- Mort Goldman
- Mayor Adam West
- Al Harrington
- Seamus Levine
- Carl
- Dr. Hartman
- Tom Tucker
- Joyce Kinney
- Miss Tammy
- Jesus Christ
- John Herbert
- Crystal Helsing
- Courtney
- Heather
- Sandra
- Scott Baio
- Scott Caan
- Scott Storch
- Gérard Depardieu
- Queen Elizabeth II
- Angela Everwood (Pictured)
Quotes[]
- Tom: Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker. Coming up, tonight's second story.
- [Stewie walks into the room, groaning in pain]
- Brian: What's wrong with you?
- Stewie: It's my back. It's killing me.
- Brian: Yeah, I'm not falling for that hot oil massage bit again.
- Stewie: No, this time it's not a bit. I'm really hurt. I must have jacked it up, playing sports and not trying to dance like Beyoncé.
- Al Harrington: Good afternoon and welcome to today's auction. I'm Al Harrington of Al Harrington's Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing Tubeman Warehouse and Emporium. Due to the presence of black mold, discarded half-eaten turkey legs, and an undulating rat king that no one dares approach, I have been advised to move these proceedings along as quickly as possible.
- Al Harrington: Do I hear higher than twenty five cents?
- Peter: This paper bag, which could be full of money or my socks. You take the chance.
- Al Harrington: We have an intriguing mystery bag. Do I hear more than the mystery bag?
- Adam West: Two bets and a cardboard box, which may or may not contain a mystery bag.
- Al Harrington: Do I hear a much higher bid, followed by shocked murmuring?
- Adam West: Ten thousand dollars!
- [The crowd gasps and murmurs in shock]
- Joe: We can't afford that!
- Quagmire: Peter, do something!
- Peter: I can't! There's only nine thousand dollars in the mystery bag!
- Peter: Archers!
- [Carl comes out]
- Carl: Yeah?
- Peter: Oh, yeah, he's that guy too.
- Dr. Hartman: He just needs to wear this brace for a while, to correct him.
- [Dr. Hartman puts a back brace on Stewie]
- Lois: Oh, dear.
- Dr. Hartman: Now, does he have any school pictures coming up?
- Lois: Yeah, he actually does.
- Dr. Hartman: Well, then this will not be a refrigerator door year.
- Dr. Hartman: Wow, that patient, next door is fat!
- Patient: [offscreen] I can hear you!
- Dr. Hartman: Uh, that wasn't me, that was Mrs. Griffin.
- [Peter gets a semen-drenched couch cushion stuck to his butt]
- Kimi: Oooh!
- Cleveland: That's just nasty.
- Peter: For God's sake.
- Joe: You're gonna have a baby in your butt, man.
- Quagmire: Can't leave. Heather, within 5 miles is coming.
- [A creepy, pale-skinned girl comes to Quagmire's door]
- Heather: Are you Glenn, within 5 miles? I can take my glass eye out if you wanna try something different.
- Cleveland: I got a good feeling about her. Maybe she's the one.
- Stewie: Watch me jump this line. [nudges his way through the line] Scuse me, I have scoliosis. Scuse me, scoliosis coming though.
- [A guy with polio stops him]
- Guy with polio: Hey pal, polio.
- Peter: Guys, I've been to the doctor's. I do have a baby in my butt.
- Stewie: You've got to take me to the hospital!
- Brian: Absolutely. Let me just watch Jennifer's Body and we'll go right there.
- Stewie: Brian, there's no nudity in that movie. Take me to the hospital!
- Brian: What, so it's rated R for curses? God, this country.
- [Brian and Stewie walk out of the hospital, with Stewie wearing a head brace.]
- Stewie: Is it- Is it noticeable?
- Brian: Eh, nothing that can't be fixed with a string of chili pepper Christmas lights.
- Stewie: [narrating] I wore that brace for the next five years of my life. The kids stopped cheering the second day. Then it was just "Get off the swing, you Christmas turd!"
Song[]
Trivia[]
- Meg and Chris do not appear in this episode.
- The song that plays when Quagmire meets various women from Tinder is "Fun" by Pitbull and Chris Brown.
- Lois takes over the lyrics to "Every Morning" by Sugar Ray, to Stewie's frustration.
- Peter acknowledges H. Jon Benjamin's role of Archer.
- The image of Queen Elizabeth II is taken from her 2014 Christmas address.[1]
- Quagmire scores a sex date from a creature from Where the Wild Things Are who later shows up in the song "Tinder Makes You So Gross".
- French actor and filmmaker Gerard Depardieu is among Quagmire's potential Tinder dates.
Cultural References[]
- The title is a reference to the quasi-game show of the same name.
- The 'James Bond' villain contains references to the one-eyed Emilio Largo, as well as the cat of Ernst Stavro Blofeld.
- Medieval Castle is a parody of Medieval Times themed restaurants.[2]
- Quagmire calls the Sun "Yellow Face", like Gollum in the novel of The Two Towers in The Lord of the Rings trilogy.[3]
- Peter says "maybe I should invest this in a 401Gay", a parody of the retirement plan known as a 401(k).[4]