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Workin' on that Novel

Still Working on that Novel? is a running gag, where Stewie pesters Brian about working on his novel. The idea is that Brian is always talking about a novel he's working on, but he never gets around to finishing it. Stewie suspects that Brian barely even works on it at all, so he's sure to sarcastically ask him about the novel. He goes on a monologue, asking about minor details of the book, and making his voice get higher with every question.


Brian the Bachelor[]

Stewie sarcastically tells Brian that he has to do a lot of work, what with his novel and everything. Stewie asks him all about the book, and his voice gets higher pitched every time. At the end of the episode, Brian was kicked off of The Bachelorette, and Stewie told him that now that he's off the show, he has plenty of time to work on his novel, again asking him these questions, and making his voice get ridiculously high pitched this time.

"Hmm, how you uh, ... how you coming on that novel, ... you're working on? Huh? Got a big uh, big stack of papers there? Got a-got a-got a nice little-nice little story, you're working on there, big-big-big, uh novel ... you've been working on for three years? Huh? [nup] Got a ... got a compelling protagonist? Huh? Got a ... got a ... obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? ... Little story, brewing there, working on, [nup] working on that for quite some time huh? ... Yeah, talking about that, three years ago, ... Yeah, been working on that the whole time? Nice little uh, narrative. Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? Yeah? At the end, your uh, main character is uh, richer for the experience? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah, you got uh-No, no, you, you deserve some time off."

"But look at the bright side. You have some new material for that novel, you've been writing ... You know, ... the ... novel, you've been working on ... You know, the-the one uh, ... you've been working on for three years? ... You know, the novel? The ... got something new to write about now. You know? ... Maybe uh, ... maybe a main character gets into a relationship, ... and suffers a little heartbreak ... something like uh, ... what, ... what you've been, you've just been through. Draw from a real life experience? Little uh, little heartbreak? You know? Work it into the story? ... Make those character a little more three dimensional? ... Little uh, richer experience for the reader? ... Make those ... second hundred pages, really keep the reader guessing, what's going to happen? ... Some twists and turns? ... Little epilogue ... Everybody learns, the hero's journey, isn't always a happy one? Oh, I look forward to reading it."

Flights of Disaster[]

Stewie tells Brian that he's not unemployed, because he technically has a job, making his novel. He pesters Brian about finishing it, because he won't be making any money off of an unfinished book. Stewie knows that Brian has done barely anything, to make this book.

"Oh, but you don't have the time, since you're so busy, working on that novel of yours ... You know, that uh, that one you've been working on all this time? ... Got to-got to-got to dedicate a lot of time to that novel you've been working on? Yeah? ... Gotta-gotta spend some time focusing on the making a solid story ... writing the story and giving it uh, ... a real thorough proofread, you know? ... Make sure everything makes sense ... Get rid of any plot holes or inconsistencies with the story ... Give the story some rewrites, maybe ... maybe do a first draft, before really getting into that actual story? Yeah? ... Summarizing the story in as few words as possible, helping the story progress as quickly as possible, without boring the reader ... yeah? Make sure, ... make sure, every element of the story is important to the overall, storyline, so as not to waste any time, establishing information that nobody's going to need to remember? No yeah, you don't need a job right now."

A Star is Born... Kind Of[]

When on the subject of movies, Stewie tells Brian that someone should really make his novel into a movie, once he's finished making it. He then pesters Brian, because of the fact that he hasn't finished his novel, meaning that a movie about it would most likely never happen.

"Wow, Brian. Someone made a movie out of a book. [nup] Maybe uh, ... maybe someone could make a movie out of that novel, ... you've been working on? Huh? Remember that? [nup] That novel, you've been working on ... for three years? [nup] Gunna-gunna finish that novel, soon? Little story, you've got a-you've got a, good structure there? Got uh, Act 1, Act 2, Act 3? Little uh, ... got a, protagonist? ... Got uh ... Something for him to learn? ... Maybe he's one type of person in the beginning, and then uh, he goes through some sort of transformation and then uh, in the end, he's another type of person, ... Yeah? ... You know, you got a little something like that going on? Yeah, yeah you'll be do-you're doing fine."

Saving Private Brian[]

Stewie tells Brian that he never finishes anything he starts, and briefly brings up the fact that he still hasn't finished his novel.

"You need this, Brian. You dropped out of college, you still haven't finished your novel. So you know what you lack? Discipline! And do you know, where you'll get it? Right here in the army!"

Brian Goes Back to College[]

Brian publishes an article in the newspaper and Stewie quickly pesters him for working on his novel, but he does this for a short time, before Brian smacks him with a book.

"Seems to me, you should spend less time working for the paper and more time working on that novel, you've been working on, you know the-"

Ocean's Three and a Half[]

Brian does this to Stewie, when he sees him working on making a video, but Stewie finally stops him and tells him that it only works when he does it.

Brian Writes a Bestseller[]

Stewie pulls off this joke one last time, once Brian finally finishes and publishes his book. His book "Wish It, Want It, Do It" ended up being completely horrible, became critically panned, and didn't sell a single copy.

Family Guy Lite[]

After a long time of forgetting Brian's whole "novel incident", Lois writes and published an erotic book, which, despite being kind of stupid, sells pretty well. Brian criticizes the content of Lois' book, and Stewie reminds Brian that in the matter of a few days, Lois was able to write the beginning, middle, and end to something and publish it, to positive results. Meanwhile, he spent years working on a novel, beating around the bush, and when he finally got it done, it was one of the worst books in history. This really shut him up.