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Space Cadet
Space Cadet is the third episode of season ten of Family Guy.

Synopsis

Chris goes to space camp.

Plot

The Griffins find out that Chris is not doing well in school and worry about his future. As they discuss him, he overhears and feels insulted when they don't believe he is smart. To boost Chris' self-esteem, Peter and Lois allow him to go to a camp and he picks a space camp at the Kennedy Space Center. There, Chris has trouble fitting in and calls for his parents to come pick him up.

When Griffins arrive, Chris gives them a tour of the space shuttle before they leave and Stewie accidentally launches them into space. As they worry about being stuck in space, Chris thinks he is responsible for getting them stuck. As word spreads about their possible fate, the Griffins explore the shuttle. Mission Control radios they find can get them back but the signal is lost and Peter destroys the radio trying to fix it. They try to land the shuttle themselves and Chris slows down the shuttle using what he learned. Unfortunately the shuttle spins out of control and Chris manages to stabilize it allowing the autopilot to engage. They land to the cheers of the center and Chris is proclaimed a hero as the family has to contend with their new location after Consuela tried to steal their house.

Characters

Major Roles

Minor Roles

Quotes

Principal Shepherd: Mr. and Mrs. Griffin, I called you in today, because your son, Chris has been getting in quite a but of trouble, lately. In fact, just yesterday, he tried to pass this drawing off as his advanced art project.
[Principal Shepherd shows Peter and Lois a picture of Bob Belcher from Bob's Burgers]
Lois: Oh my!
Peter: I'm very embarrassed.
Principal Shepherd: Well, someone should be.

Peter: Did you really leave the bathroom without washing your hands?

Chris: Stop making fun of me!
Lois: Chris! Oh my God. No, we weren't talking about you.
Peter: Yeah, we were talking about Meg. We call her Chris, so she doesn't know.
Meg: [offscreen] Fuck you!
Peter: Shut up, Chris!

Stewie: Oh, by the way. There's a baby in my preschool with HIV and my teacher gave you something to sign to get him kicked out.

Peter: Uhp, look out everyone. Double digit IQ joining the table.

Chris: I don't wanna talk to you guys! You called me an idiot!
Lois: Oh, Chris, you must have just misheard us.
Chris: I was standing right there. How is that possible!?
Peter: Cuz you're an idiot. That's how.

Chris: I'm going to school!
Stewie: It's Saturday, right?

[Nazis are lining up Jews to be killed in a concentration camp]
Jew: [joking] Don't suppose it would help to say I have a note from my doctor.
Nazi: [chuckles] Get in there, you.

Chris: Thanks mom and dad! You guys are the best parents ever!
Peter: Would you excuse me a moment?
[Peter breaks into the home of some parents and steals their "#1 Dad" and "#1 Mom" mugs from them]
Peter: These are mine now!
Mom: Hey!
Dad: Oh, honey. When we accepted those mugs, we knew this could happen.

Chris: Mom, I can handle space camp. I'm not stupid.
Peter: Well, regardless, on the way back, we're stopping at that down syndrome camp we passed.
Lois: Peter, that was The University of Florida.

Brian: What's that? I thought all the space shuttles were decommissioned.
Astronomer: Well, we always keep one space craft flight ready, in the event a satellite needs service, there's a space station emergency, or an Italian guy needs to over exaggerate.
[Cutaway to two Italian guys arguing]
Louie: I swear to God, Johnny. I've had it up to ...
[Louie gets into a rocket ship and flies to space]
Louie: ... here with your BS.
Johnny: Ooh, he's really had it this time. [calling to space] I'm sorry Louie!
Louie: [from space] Alright then!

[Peter and Brian switch heads]
Peter: [on Brian's body] Things got crazy so fast!

Stewie: Oh, and hey, if you get sent off on a space mission, don't be the black guy, cuz you'll die.

[Chris calls Lois and begs her to take him back from space camp]
Chris: You and dad were right. I'm not smart enough to be here. Can you come get me? Please mom?
Lois: Okay, honey. Of course we will.
[Lois gets another call]
Lois: Hang on, I got another call.
[Peter calls Lois, crying]
Lois: Hello?
Peter: Lois, I'm at the gym. I hate it here. Everybody's calling me fat! I wanna come home!
Lois: Well, I suppose I-
[Lois gets another call]
Lois: Hang on, honey. I'm getting another call.
[Stewie calls Lois]
Lois: He-Hello?
Stewie: Hey, is fatass home yet? Put him on, I wanna talk to him.
[Lois gets another call]
Lois: Look, I don't know who this is, but I'm getting yet another call.
[Meg calls Lois, crying]
Meg: Mom, kids at school are bullying me. They're telling me to kill myself!
Lois: Look, Meg. I'm busy right now. Just ignore them and call back, later.

Peter: I've always wanted to be an astronaut like Lance Armstrong.
Chris: It's Neil Armstrong.
Peter: He lied about his name too!?
Stewie: Well, on the bright side Chris, even if you're flunking out in school, you're by no means, the dumbest person in the family.

Peter: Look at this, Lois. A week ago, we call him stupid and now he's giving tours of the space shuttle. Negative reinforcement. That's the key.
[Peter kicks Meg]
Peter: Right stupid?
Meg: Ow! I'll do better!

Stewie: Ooh, big red button!

Lois: Stewie, hold my hand!
Stewie: No thank you, I prefer to die, giving you the finger.

[Peter gets locked into a space shuttle that goes to space]
Peter: If this is what it takes to get out of Florida, fine.

Brian: You know what? You only live once. I am sticking my head out the window.
[Brian sticks his head out of the rocket ship]
Brian: Yes! This is the best version of whatever's so enjoyable about this!

Stewie: I'll tell you what I won't miss. That waiter who thinks he has to be funny.
[Cutaway to Stewie at a restaurant, with a waiter taking his order]
Stewie: Yes, I'd like the chopped salad please and can I get no onions on that?
Waiter: Hmm, I've got a few connections in the back. I'll see what I can do.
Stewie: Yeah, that's funny. If there's one onion on that salad, you can forget that $1.80 tip you need to live.

Stewie: Hey, Brian. Check it out. Meg's poking around the cargo hold. I'm gunna give her a little scare.
[Stewie presses the button on the cargo hold, opening the ship, and sending Meg flying out into the vacuum of space]

Brian: If we don't get this shuttle out of orbit soon, we're gunna run out of oxygen and die.
Peter: Is failure an option?
Lois: No! It's not!
Peter: Ah, that was my suggestion.

Peter: Try this. Hit up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start. Then we'll have unlimited lives.

Meg: Come on! We're running out of time!
Lois: Oh, Meg. All your suicide threats over the years, and you're just as chicken shit as the rest of us.

Meg: Oh my God, we're gunna die! There's so many things I didn't do! I never got to go to college!
Brian: My book wasn't all I wanted it to be in spots!
Lois: Peter, I wanted to grow old with you!
Peter: Well, you kinda did.

Computer: Autopilot enganged.
Peter: Good for him. I'm glad he found someone.

Stewie: I can't believe I got to go to space before Derek Watson.
Brian: Who's Derek Watson?
Stewie: Nobody now.

[Peter comes out of the space shuttle, stretched out]
Peter: Well, thanks to no gravity in space, my spine stretched and I am now a confident 6-3. So, Lois, I will be leaving you and ending our marriage, to start anew with a hotter woman. Thank you for many years of suffering, and I wish you the worst of luck in the future, while I live life with someone younger, prettier, and less annoying.
[Peter gradually gets shorter as he said this, until he returns back to his normal state]
Peter: Never mind, Lois. I love you so much.

Peter: Hey, by the way, who moved our house?
[The Griffin House is under a highway in Mexico]

Songs

Trivia

  • This episode was originally titled "Family Guy: In Spaaaaaace!".
  • Peter invented the razor blade comb.
  • Chris has an IQ of two digits.
  • Chris becomes pretty smart in this episode, as he knows a lot about space travel.

Cultural References

  • Chris gets an F, when he draws a picture of Bob Belcher from "Bob's Burgers" for his art class.
  • Peter is brainwashed into liking "Breaking Bad" and "The Wire".
  • Peter thought Neil Armstrong's name was Lance Armstrong. When he learns the truth, he is shocked to hear that Neil "lied about his name, too." in reference to the fake moon landing conspiracies.
  • When thinking of how to control the space ship, Peter suggests they hit "Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, A, B, start." to get unlimited lives. This is an exact quote of the Konami Code, which is a video game hack to get unlimited lives.

Deleted Scenes

  • Principal Shepherd suggesting Chris goes to cat school.
  • Chris saying he wanted to hear his parents have sex.
  • Stewie telling Lois that she must have gotten a new vibrator.
  • Peter goes to Europe and doesn't like it.
  • Peter complains about a Hamilton blender repeatedly getting re-gifted to him.
  • Peter becoming a pedophile boy scout.
  • Stewie tells the Space Camp guy to be careful with Chris.
  • Cutaway gag to guys who's wives are friends.
  • A Chinese guy secretly working among a business full of Japanese people.
  • The guy figuring out that one of his students is a girl.
  • Chris gets a Russel Brand haircut.
  • The Space Camp Guy tells Chris to fix his marriage.
  • Peter brings home a cougar chick.
  • Peter giving negative reinforcement to Stewie.
  • Peter mistakes a fecal collection bag for a lunch sack of space food.
  • Peter's great grandfather inventing the first marital aid.
  • Peter annoys Brian and Stewie with talk about Breaking Bad and The Wire.
  • Stewie said that he never got to wear it better.
  • Peter rooting against Chris because of a perfectly normal thing he said.
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