Roasted Guy is an episode of Family Guy.
The Griffin Family attends Adam West's celebrity roast.
Adam West is having a celebrity roast for his birthday, and because Lois is the sister of Carol, she has connections and gets her family front row seats to the roast. Adam gets a good roasting from other celebrities, and Peter gets inspired to have his own roast. Since his birthday is coming up soon, he announces to all of his friends that that's what he wants. Adam West, and a lot of his friends warn him that he might not like that he hears on his roast, but Peter ignores it.
A few days later, on the date of Peter's birthday, they hold a roast for him at the Quahog Banquet Hall. Almost everybody who Peter knows is either in the audience or up on stage with him. Everyone agreed to allow themselves to be insulted, because they could all handle a few side-roasts about themselves. Quagmire is the roastmaster and begins by taking a few shots at Joe. Joe steps out of line and makes a joke about him before his turn, which is soon dismissed. Quagmire starts roasting Peter, which slowly starts to offend him. Soon, various members of Peter's group of friends and acquaintances are all making jokes about him. At the end of the roast, Peter is emotionally torn apart, and when he gets up on stage, he starts lashing out at everyone and crying, not actually making any real roasts.
The next day, Peter is complaining to Lois about how people went too far during the roast, and he no longer considered them his friends anymore. He then goes searching for a new group of friends who would be nice to him. Peter comes across a group of three women at a coffee shop named Jamie, Becca, and Karen and he quickly becomes friends with them.
During their friendship, Peter and his friends end up making a bunch of insulting comments about people behind their backs and Peter finds this to be a perfect way to let off steam from his roast. He starts making negative comments with them and they mostly insult Lois. However, Peter realizes that he shouldn't be talking that way about Lois and admits it to her. When he does, Lois is surprisingly okay with it, saying that that's exactly what women do and also adds that they do the same thing with him. The next day, Peter tests her theory and realizes she's right. The girls are making a bunch of insults about him, just like the ones made at his roast.
Peter tells Lois about what he heard them say and Lois says that the way to justify that is to get revenge on them and so, they put together a plan to get revenge on all three of those girls. The first plan is to mix up the dye in Karen's hirdresser, causing her to completely ruin her hair, permantantly dying it a bunch of weird colors. The plan for Becca is to cut the brakes on her car. Peter ends up cutting his own brakes, and he gets himself into an accident. However, the car he crashed into happens to be driven by Becca's husband. The final plan is to beat Jamie's daughter, Emily at a diving contest. Peter does this and humiliates Emily, much to the anger of Jamie. After this, Peter is kicked out of his new friend circle, but he leaves with pride, having totally humiliated the girls.
At the end of the episode, Peter comes back to his old friend circle and apologizes for the way he acted at the roast and promises to be a better person in front of them. Dumbfounded, his friends tell him that they were never mad at him before and that he has no reason to apologize anyway. Although they learned nothing about comedic insults, they do learn that men are better than women.
- Mayor Adam West
- Carol West
- Stewie Griffin
- Brian Griffin
- Glenn Quagmire
- Cleveland Brown
- Joe Swanson
- Bonnie Swanson
- Donna Tubbs-Brown
- Mort Goldman
- Jerome Blackman
- Tom Tucker
- Tricia Takanawa
- Ollie Williams
- Carter Pewterschmidt
- Herbert the Pervert
- Elmer Hartman
- Ida Davis
- Chris Griffin (Non-Speaking)
- Meg Griffin (Non-Speaking)
- Canon West
Roast Audience Only
- Kevin Swanson
- Susie Swanson
- Joyce Kinney
- Cleveland Jr.
- Roberta Tubbs
- Rallo Tubbs
- Kimi Quagmire
- Seamus Levine
- Joyce Kinney
- Babs Pewterschmidt
- Principal Shepherd
- Al Harrington
- Connie D'amico
- Neil Goldman
- Gina Resdes
- Pam Blackman
- Frank Sinatra Jr.
- Quagmire: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. Joe, I'd tell you to take your seat, but I'd be about 15 years too late. You know it's just a gentlemanly gesture for a man to pull out the chair for a woman, but now that Joe's in a wheelchair, Bonnie doesn't need to worry about doing that anymore. But hey, wheelchair rolls, not gender roles, right Joe?
- Cleveland: Peter has a small penis. But hey, nothing grows in the shade.
- Bonnie: Peter, you're overweight, overemotional, and you overeat. When I first met you, I thought you were pregnant. However, seeing how immature and stupid you act, I'd say you're actually the baby.
- Carol: Chris is fat, Meg is ugly, and Stewie is gay. It's clear that they have their father's genes.
- Jerome: Peter, you're loud, you can't hold down a job, and you have a high blood pressure. You could be a black guy if your dingaling wasn't so damn tiny.
- Lois: [offscreen] Ha ha ha ha! How does everyone know!?
- Carl: I asked Peter what he got on his SAT and he said mayonnaise.
- Dr. Hartman: As the worst doctor in Quahog, I've made a lot of fatal mistakes on my patients. However, I think that the worst of my career was delivering Peter.
- Brian: Hi, I'm Professor Comedy.
- Stewie: [offscreen] Boo! Get off the stage!
- Tricia: I'm standing here ... is something that Peter will never say, because he never gets his butt off the couch. Even Joe is better at standing than he is.
- Joe: [offscreen] That's enough already!
- Ida: People often ask me if I miss being a guy. I do, but whenever that thought comes up, I think of Peter Griffin and remember that my surgery was the best decision I ever made.
- Peter: Family, I have an announcement to make.
- Lois: Peter, we're eating. Just tell us what color it is and be done with it.
- Peter: I can't believe my own friends would make such offensive comments about me.
- Lois: Peter, you understand that was a roast. Your friends don't really think that about you. Every mean comment they made about you was all meant in good fun.
- Peter: Lois, are the things we say to Meg, all in good fun?
- Lois: That's different.
- Karen: Well, I think I speak for all of us, when I say we'd love to have you in our group of girlfriends.
- Peter: Oh my God. That's awesome. Hey, can I be the one who laugh screams really loud at restaurants?
- Becca: As long as you're picking up the check.
- Peter: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!
- Jamie: Oh, we're gunna ruin so many people's evenings!
- Jamie: Oh, thank God. For a second there, I thought she was gunna come with us.
- Peter: What?
- Karen: Seriously, Peter. How do you live with her?
- Becca: I know and that voice. Ugh!
- Jamie: And what is that hair color? Creamy French dressing?
- [The girls laugh]
- Peter: ... Heh, uh, yeah ... yeah ... Hey, uh. If you think that's funny. She once had a miscarriage outside of Pecto. I still have the security camera footage somewhere.
- Jamie: Peter, your wife is such a pig.
- Peter: Oh, I don't know about that, Jamie. Pigs eat slop. Lois only cooks it.
- Brian: Peter, Lois is your wife. You should be defending her, not talking trash and gossiping behind her back like some kind of midwestern teenager.
- [Cutaway to a Minnesotan teenager at school]
- Minnesotan Teenager: Did you gals hear about Ally Gallagher? She let Alan Ackerman smack her in the back with his tallywacker behind the snack shack.
- Girl 1: What?
- Girl 2: Nobody here in Maryland, understands a single word you're saying.
- Girl 1: You should move back to Minnesota.
- Minnesotan Teenager: I can't go back. I snap chatted Mack Gackerack a codack of my asscrack.
- Peter: Lois, you were right. Those women were talking about me.
- Lois: Oh, dear. What did they say?
- Peter: I don't even remember, there was such a long cutaway.
- This is the third of the three Seth MacFarlane adaptions to feature a roast as the part of the main plot. The other two being "Birth of a Salesman" from The Cleveland Show and "Great Space Roaster" from American Dad!.
- The roasting stage in the infomercial is a fairly accurate representation of the real roasting stage. However, the actual roast of Sammy Davis, Jr., which took place on April 24, 1975, featured a few different roasters than those pictured.
- Peter believes that Comedy Central invented roasts. Seth MacFarlane was an occasional roast host for Comedy Central.
- Jerome and Cleveland make a callback to Marlon Johnson and his catch phrase from "Secondhand Spoke".
- The Adrian Peterson cutaway makes reference to charges of child abuse for which he later accepted a plea deal.
- Bonnie jokingly told Peter that she thought he was pregnant when she first met him. In reality, Bonnie was pregant with Susie when she first met him.
- Dr. Hartman said that the worst mistake of his career was delivering Peter. Since they are close to the same age, it would seem unlikely that he had the job as a doctor at that time, given that if he was even born, he was very young. However, this was a joke he was telling, so it didn't have to be entirely based in reality.
- Donna saying that people call Cleveland a black version of Peter Griffin is a reference to a common real life citicism that people gave to The Cleveland Show, when it was on air, saying that the concept and plot is so similar to family guy, that the characters are basically a black version of The Griffin Family.
- Peter and Lois strongly imply that their insults toward Meg are not all in good fun, meaning that they truly hate her and they do this to hurt her feelings.
- The cutaway of "Stealing Peter's lunch" parodies the first Die Hard film.
- The song that plays during the diving training montage is "Round and Round" by Ratt.
- After Peter notes that guys are better than women, a title card illustrates the number of male writers for the show, compared to Cherry Chevapravatdumrong being the sole current female writer.
- Meg and Chris have no speaking lines in this episode.
- Deleted Scenes: An alternate take on Peter getting introduced to roasts, with Peter and Brian watching the roast of Sammy Davis Jr. A roast from Donna, comparing Peter to her husband. Peter mistaking Italian men for bearded children. Peter and Principal Shepherd overdosing on milk. An alternate take on the scene where the get revenge on Karen, where instead of dying her hair, they hire a hitman to murder people at her daughter's wedding.