Sad Ol' Dying Pete
Rich Old Stewie is an episode of Family Guy.


Stewie's future life could not be going any better, living as a wealthy, old Mr. Burns-type man, until his retirement is interrupted by Brian, who brings news that Peter is dying.


Future Stewie Doing Well
In the far future, Stewie is rich and living in California when Brian brings word that Peter is dying. Traveling back home, they pick up Chris and Meg, who have also gone on with their lives. On arrival, Stewie is appalled at the condition of the house. The family meets Peter, who extracts a promise from Stewie to take care of the family.

Old Lois Clasping Old Peter's Hand
He rebuilds the house just in time before Peter passes away. But as he heads back home to California to share his money with the family after handing out a round of cigars to celebrate Peter's life, the latter recovers as the whole family shares a laugh over pulling a scam on him. However, he is aware of the ruse and had rigged the gas to stay on, blowing up the house behind him as Chris lights his cigar. As Brian begs him to put him out of his misery, Stewie suddenly realizes he is having a fantasy while trying to pick out a Halloween costume of an old man, having been afraid of growing old but now looking forward to it. After trying it on, he gets his dragging testicles tangled up with Herbert's.

At the same shop in closing, Meg has a momentary fantasy of being Evita Perón, before Peter snaps her out of it to make her the back half of a farting horse, which he insists on doing the farting.


Major Roles

Minor Roles


Stewie: Fart joke.

[A hot shirtless guy walks into the room]
Shape Shifting Valet: Sir, you need to get ready for your lifetime achievement award ceremony.
Stewie: Thank you, shape-shifting valet.
Shape Shifting Valet: Remember sir, I can be any shape you wish.
Stewie: Yeah, but you're already this so.

Lane Bergen: Welcome ladies and gentlemen and 14 other genders we have now.

Lane Bergen: I'm Lane Bergen. The biggest star of May 2020 and on. So, if you've only watched TV up until April of 2020, my name would be unfamiliar to you.
Stewie: Lane Bergen? What did Brett Kingston say no?

Lane Bergen: Stewie Griffin is a medicinal pioneer, who's created many great pills and vaccines in his day. A cure for corona virus, a long-term treatment for cancer, and a form of brain surgery that helps people remove the mental block in their heads that cause them to believe that vaccines cause Autism. Oh, and he created a vaccine for Autism. Just wish Wilson Hughes would start using it.

Stewie: I invented a pill to extend your life. It's called Semper Fido.

Stewie: I wanted you to live long enough to see that global warming is complete bullcrap.
Brian: Oh my God. We were so wrong about that.

Stewie: I guess I'm just not a family guy.

Chris: I kind of wasted my life on video games. Never got a job. Never got married. Never did anything important.
Stewie: Are you serious?
Brian: How did you play video games without electricity?
Chris: I used to have electricity here that mom and dad paid for but I got cut off after I spent $3,000,000 of what little money they had left on Fortnite skins.
Stewie: My God, Chris! Is that all you've done with your life!?
Chris: No, I also spent a couple grand on World of Warcraft and another two million Club Penguin Rewritten. Can you believe they started charging real money for rainbow puffles?

[Meg gets shot in the chest, to test out a bullet proof vest]
Meg: Oh YEAH! [vomits]
[Meg takes off her vest and she has a bloody wound on her body]
Meg: This one could use another layer.

Meg: Hi, Chris. How are you?
Chris: Same spit, different day.

Weenie and the Butt Singers: Quahog 97 FM on the radio and the internet and the orb, a new invention which lets you hear stuff in your head without a device.

[Cleveland has been on hold for millions of years]
Cleveland: I'm starting to think my call is not important to them.
Pre-Recorded Voice: Your call is important to us. Thank you for remaining on the line.
Cleveland: Alright. You just bought yourself another year.

Stewie: Look at all this traffic.
Chris: Yeah, Brady Boulevard is tight this time of day. You know what? Cut over to Brady on Brady and then take the Brady bridge.
Stewie: Is everything in this town named after Tom Brady?

Quagmire: You know what's cool? Ice cream! Wanna go get a cup? Cone? Bowl?
Stewie: I'm just trying to see my folks.
Quagmire: Man, I love ice cream. You know there's three different ice cream shops in Quahog. They're all good.
Stewie: What's your favorite?
Quagmire: They're all good. [nods] So, that's the scoop from here.

Lois: Your father's had severe diabetes ever since they opened three ice cream stores in town.
Peter: They're all good.

Tom: Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker. Delivering the news with my Andy Rooney, end of life eyebrows. You won't hear anything I'm saying because they're so distracting.

Peter: Aw, thanks for these virtual reality glasses, so I can watch porn while talking to the family. So, what's California like, Stewie? [disgusted] Aaaaah! That was a penis.
Stewie: So ... you ... still want to know about California?
Peter: No, I'm done.

Lois: Oh, Dr. Hartman, thank you for coming.
Dr. Hartmanson: Well, actually I'm Dr. Hartman's son.
Peter: Dr. Hartmanson? But I asked for Dr. Hartman.

Peter: I see a white light. There are others inside of it. Adam West, Carrie Fisher, Frank Sinatra Jr., Ricardo Montalban, Phyllis Diller, Charles Durning, ...
Brian: Heaven is filled with every actor who ever died?
Peter: Just the ones who did our show. Lauren Bacall, Roy Scheider, Waylon Jennings, Ed Asner by the time this airs, certainly.
Chris: Dad, you don't have to do this. There are too many.

[Peter slowly dies on his deathbed]
Lois: He's trying to say something. His final words.
Peter: Lactating pregnant Latinas.
Chris: I will, dad. I promise.

Chris: I feel like we're in The Sting. That movie from 100 years ago about 150 years ago.

Meg: Great work, tricking him, Brian.
Brian: Thanks. Well, you know I credit my years as a writer. When I planned the con, I saw Quahog as a character...
Lois: Okay, that's enough.

[Brian, along with the rest of the family except Stewie gets blown up in the house]
Brian: Stewie help! It hurts! Reverse the pill! Let me die!
Stewie: Oooh, I wish I could but the pills were in the house. Soooo, ... yeah.

Brian: Stewie! Stewie!
Stewie: Huh? What?
Brian: What the hell is wrong with you? You've been staring at that old man Halloween costume for 30 minutes!
Stewie: Well, 21 plus commercials, but it's a big decision.

[Meg fantasizes about being Eva Perón]
Meg: People of Argentina. I have heard you cries and I just want to say...
[Peter interrupts her fantasy]
Peter: Meg! Meg! I already told you, you're not gonna be Evita. You're gonna be the back half of Edgar the farting horse.



  • This episode takes place 50 years in the future, making the year 2070.
  • The futures of many characters are shown in this episode:
    • Stewie becomes a rich and fancy billionaire, after becoming a medicinal inventor, inventing many groundbreaking medicines, most importantly, one called the "Wipeless Dump", which allows people to defecate, without needing to use toilet paper. This allowed for rainforests to flourish, as trees no longer needed to be cut down to make toilet paper.
    • Brian looks more or less, the same age, despite now being 60 years old (420 in dog years). Brian was able to achieve such a long lifespan because of another medicine Stewie invented called "Semper Fido", which extended a dog's life in human years to the normal amount of years for humans, which equates to dogs living to be around 532 to 567 years old.
    • Peter, at the age of 96, is now a wrinkly, pathetic, senile old man on his deathbed, having gotten diabetes from eating too much ice cream when Quahog opened three ice cream shops in the same area. However, it's later revealed that Peter was faking his weakness and closeness with death, meaning that somehow, a morbidly obese, alcoholic old man in his late nineties is at no health risk whatsoever and doesn't show even the tiniest sign of dying.
    • Lois is an old lady, who's taking care of Peter, while he's sick. Upon the revelation that Peter was faking it, we learn that Lois was in on the scam to trick Stewie into giving them a sum of his fortune.
    • Chris is a poor old bum who lives in a crappy old trailer, having wasted his life playing such video games as Fortnite, World of Warcraft, and Club Penguin Rewritten instead of getting a life, finding a wife, working an actual job, or doing anything important.
    • Meg runs a small private security business out in the desert, wherein she tests bulletproof vests by getting herself shot, while wearing them. She never married because everybody hates her.
  • A famous celebrity by the name Lane Burgon says that he became famous in April of 2020 (a month after this episode aired) and adds that if you've only seen things on television before then (which a viewer of this episode would), then you wouldn't get the celebrity reference. Additionally, there are pop culture references to the non-existent future celebrities, Brett Kingston and Wilson Hughes.
  • Stewie breaks the fourth wall, by title dropping Family Guy in dialogue, getting a laugh from the live studio audience.

Cultural References

  • Stewie saying "Fart Joke" and dropping a snow globe is a reference to the movie Citizen Kane.
  • Dwayne Johnson has a university for students with confusing ethnicities, in reference to The Rock's often misunderstood race, which is mulatto, (meaning his parents were black and white).
  • One of Stewie's inventions was a cure for Corona Virus.
  • For some reason, Stewie asks if Frank Sinatra Jr. is still alive, despite this taking place years after he witnessed his death in "Bookie of the Year".
  • Brian says that Frank Sinatra Jr. died on Spiro Agnew's birthday. This is not true at all. Frank Sinatra Jr. died on March 16th and Spiro Agnew was born on November 9th.
  • Peter asks Stewie to clear his Google search history.
  • Peter's search history is filled to the brim with Winnie the Pooh related bullshit.



  • Peter credits Rodney Dangerfield as a deceased voice actor on the show, despite the fact that he was never on the show.

Deleted Scenes

  • Stewie going to a motivational seminar by mistake.
  • Stewie changing in silhouette, while having a conversation.
  • Stewie taking a very foggy shower.
  • Cutaway of Stewie raising Chris in the dark.
  • Chris teaching his penis how to talk.
  • Meg greeting Chris' penis.
  • Seamus being on hold with Spirit Airlines.
  • Brian tells Stewie about the Rob Gronkowski library.
  • Chris tells Stewie about the Robert Kraft marina.
  • Stewie asks some guys with unrecognizable New England accents where the harbor is.
  • Lois using closed captioning that are about 30 seconds behind.
  • Lois telling Chris to watch his hand.
  • Peter including closed captioning with the music of now.
  • Tricia sneezing a bunch of white people to death.
  • Stewie installing an elevator in the house.
  • Trimming of the Surfin' Bird scene.
  • Lois saying that Peter's jokes are getting worse.
  • Peter mentioning Rodney Dangerfield as one of the dead celebrities.
  • Peter fearing Conway Twitty getting mad at him.
  • Stewie and Herbert the Pervert get their testicles tangled up.


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