Petergeist(BlueKraid)

Petergeist is the second Halloween episode after Halloween on Spooner St in my canon. Peter discovers a Native American burial ground in the garden when out of jealousy at Joe's new surround sound 4D cinema that he wants one of his own. However instead of abandoning his project and reburying the skeletons, Peter mucks about with one of the skulls because he wants to write a comedy sketch with one of them. However this angers the spirits and they haunt the Griffins Poltergeist style!

Plot

Quagmire has news that Joe has built a new surround sound 4D cinema adjacent to his house. Everyone is invited and the watch a movie.

Peter loved the experience so much he wants to build a personal cinema for his family too. So he digs up the backyard. However he finds what appears to be a burial ground.

"Looks like an Indian burial ground!" said Peter to Brian.

"Peter that's offensive! They're called Native Americans!" said Brian. Peter rolled his eyes. "I really think you should put back that skull. It's not a good idea to mess with the dead!"

"No! I have an idea for a comedy sketch involving this skull." Peter refused to put back the skull. He started playing with it like a hand puppet.

Then at dinner he fed it his peas.

"Peter why do you have that thing at the table?!" Lois nagged.

Then at bedtime he peed in the skull.

"Peter! Are you peeing in that skull?!" Lois nagged.

"Shut up Lois!" Peter yelled back. They then went to bed after the TVs went out for the night. They showed only white noise.

...

However during the night Stewie woke up and went to Lois and Peter's room. He started talking to the TV as it made eerie noises. Then suddenly a spectral lightning shot out of the TV in an almighty crash and woke everyone.

"What was that?!" Peter yelled.

"Stewie! Why are you out of bed?!" said Lois.

"They're here..." Stewie replied.

"Who's here?" Lois asked.

"The people from the TV!" said Stewie. Ghosts of celebrities appeared and started going "Oooooooooo!"

Peter and Lois screamed.

...

The next day Lois agreed with Brian that the house was haunted. Suddenly she turned around to find to find the chairs had stacked themselves like a pyramid.

"I don't remember doing that!" Lois gasped.

"Lois, it's just healthy to ignore this. Like we do with the squid." said Peter. An angry giant squid swiped everything off the table with one flick of his tentacle.

...

That night the family couldn't sleep because of the haunting.

"Oh no! I can't sleep with that scary clown at the foot of my bed!" said Chris.

Ronald McDonald was sitting at the foot of his bed making an M with his fingers. Chris screamed. Thunder and lightning revealed an evil tree was leering at him from the window. It smashed through his bedroom window and grabbed him.

Chris screamed as the evil tree clutched him in its branches.

"Hey! That's my boy! Get your own!" said Mr Herbert the pervert. The tree threw Chris back into his bedroom. The tree angrily marched towards Mr Herbert.

"You shall not pass!" yelled Mr Herbert as he struck the ground with his Zimmer frame and caused an earthquake. The tree and Mr Herbert fell into the chasm and started fighting each other like Gandalf and the Balrog.

Next Stewie was woken up by his closet bursting open with an ethereal glow of blinding light. Suddenly a strong force whisked him up and pulled him into the light.

"I heart Hugglebees!" Stewie cried as he vanished.

...

The family desperately tried to find Stewie.

"Stewie?! Where are you?" Lois cried. Suddenly Stewie yelled out from the TV.

”I’m behind you, you imbecile!” Stewie yelled from the TV.

"Oh my God!"

Stewie then started singing to the ethereal echoes of his voice.

Bruce the gay man then came round to perform a sceance.

"Will I ever see my baby brother again?" Chris asked.

"I don't know, it's sometimes very hard for spirits to move about, that's why they sometimes get stuck after death and can't move on." said Bruce. He then went off on a tangent about a time he saw someone with a hair lip drinking soup with a spoon in a cafe and was so disgusted he didn't want to go back.

”I know it’s not the cafe’s thought but I couldn’t risk getting the same spoon they used! Eeeeeew!”

”Bruce stop being an ass! People can’t help it if they have a hair lip or a cleft palate!” Oscar snapped.

Eventually they contacted the ghosts that took Stewie. After insulting Bruce they explained they would not return Stewie until they put back the skull Peter took. They also explained they entered the living world via an opening in the back of Stewie's closet.

...

The family split up, Lois went into the ether via a rope that Bruce, Brian and Peter held onto to pull her out again when she found Stewie.

However Bruce had some embarrassing news. "Oh nooooo!" He said in his camp tone.

"What is it?" Peter asked.

"Apparently the other exit to this spectral realm is um, I don't know how to put it, but it's in your daughter's bum!" said Bruce.

"Oh cool!" said Peter.

While Lois was in the spirit realm trying to find Stewie Peter mucked about pitching baseballs into the closet portal.

Meg screamed as baseballs shot out of her butt.

"Hang on Brian, check this out!" called Peter from upstairs. Suddenly his head emerged from Meg's butt. "Hehehehe! Isn't this funny Brian?"

Eventually they got a signal from Lois to pull her out. They did so and she and Stewie were pulled out of Meg's butt covered in pink slime.

"Are you alright?!" Brian asked.

"Eeeeeew! You're covered in slime!" said Peter.

Stewie sighed. "Now I know how (um don't know this reference) feels!"

However the spirits got angry at this interference and the house shook violently.

"We have to get out! They're trying to take the house and us with it!" Brian explained.

They all got out except Meg.

"Peter! Meg's still inside!" Lois nagged.

"Lois we both agreed that if we have to leave one of the kids it would be Meg!" Peter explained.

"But-" Lois argued.

"You bastard! How could you leave me in there?!" Meg ran out and got in the car with them.

"See she's fine." Peter replied.

"Peter look!" said Brian. Suddenly the house lifted up and was imploded on itself as it crumpled up and vanished.

"Oh no! Our house!" Lois cried. "This is all because of that skull! Peter you have to put it back!" Lois demanded.

"Ok fine..." Peter sighed. He went to find it but it wasn't in its box he hid it in. "The skull it's gone!"

"Oh no!" said everyone.

"Look! A note from Carrot Top!" said Brian.

The note read "Thanks for the Skull."

"Damn that Carrot Top!" yelled Peter.

...

Meanwhile Tom Tucker broadcasted the news of the spectral disturbance on Spoomer st. "Well, Diane, who are the Griffins gonna call to sort out this situation?"

"The Ghostbusters?" Diane Simmons replied.

"No, their insurer! That was just stupid what you said!" Tom replied.

...

The Griffins begged Carrot Top to return the skull but he kept just joking around with it. Eventually Peter had enough and beated him up for it.

At home they returned the skull to its rightful place. Their house returned. They cheered and went to go back inside but the house vanished again.

Peter was playing with the skull like it was a puppet. Lois slapped it out of his hand.

Peter punched her very hard and picked up the skull and played with it.

The end.