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Two Bonnies

Peter and Lois' Wedding is an episode of Season 18 of Family Guy.

Synopsis

When the wi-fi goes out at The Griffin House, Peter and Lois tell the kids the story of how they met and fell in love, to pass the time.

Plot

The Wifi is Out
When the Wi-Fi goes out in the Griffin house, the family freaks out. In order to keep themselves from losing their minds, Peter and Lois decide to tell the kids a story. Peter begins to tell the entire Mighty Ducks trilogy, before Meg suggests something better. She wants to hear the story of how Peter and Lois met and fell in love in the '90s.


Family Guy Friends

After graduating, Peter and his friends all move to the big city. But even after a break up with Lois, he still carries a torch for her. He works up the nerve to propose to her but finds that she's already engaged to Tom Tucker at the urging of her father. Peter makes a mix tape to win her back, but when things look settled, Carter plots to set Peter up.


Peter and Lois in the Past

Sending everyone to the MTV beach house, Carter pays Daisy Fuentes to catch Peter in a compromising position, which infuriates Lois when she sees it. Following yet another breakup, Peter and his friends go into business and become tech entrepreneurs, but Peter still can't get over Lois. He interrupts her wedding to Tom Tucker to tell her he still loves her. She still refuses his advances, believing that he kissed Daisy. However, the latter informs her that she kissed Peter on Carter's orders, reconnecting the pair. They elope and are married at Fenway Park, despite some second thoughts from Lois who is already pregnant with Meg.

Characters

Major Roles

Minor Roles

Quotes

Peter: This is the story of the greatest trilogy ever told ... The Mighty Ducks. It was a time of great nonsense, and Disney had an unhealthy obsession witch ducks and hockey, ...
Meg: Dad, why don't you tell us how you and mom fell in love and got married?
Chris: And in go the earbuds.
Stewie: The WiFi's out, Chris.
Chris: Bluetooth, yo.
Stewie: What's Bluetooth?
Chris: You've never heard of Bluetooth? Get with today, baby boomer.
[Peter taps a ruler against a chalkboard like a teacher to get his kids' attention]
Peter: Ah-ah-ah-ahem. Thank you.

Peter: I lived with my best friends, Quagmire and Cleveland. We were the kind of friends who were all good-looking, except for David Schwimmer and your mom lived across the hall with her friends, Bonnie and ... [sigh], Loretta. God, that was an awful part of that decade.
Lois: Does this mean I'm gunna have to do her voice again?
Peter: I'm afraid so.
Loretta: Cleveland, tuck yo damn shirt in! You look like a white man going to a job interview!
Cleveland: Sorry, Loretta. [tucks in shirt] Oh, but that reminds me! Quagmire has some great news. Tell them, Glenn.
Quagmire: I got a promotion at Blockbuster!
[Everyone claps like in the theme song of Friends]
Peter: Gleonard Quagmire, that is fantastic news.
Quagmire: I know right? You know how I always felt like I was stuck in second gear? Well, this is a new gear!
Loretta: Sounds like this is your day, week, and year!

[Chris and Meg talk over the "fountain dancing" theme song of Friends]
Meg: Wait, is this story gunna be a Friends parody?
Peter: That, and like, 90 other 90's things, yes.
Chris: Well, given the context of the story, wouldn't it make more sense for this to be a How I Met Your Mother parody?
Peter: No, that's early 2000's crap! This is supposed to be 90's themed.
Meg: Why is emulating the decade so important, when the main draw of the story is about how you met our mother?
Peter: Because 90's nostalgia, Meg. Those of us who lived through the 90's have to reminisce about how great things were in the past and telling you kids that you're too young to remember any of it.
Meg: I was born in '95.
Peter: [annoyed] Shut up, Meg!
Meg: Okay, boomer.
Chris: Wait, how could you have been friends with Bonnie before you were married, when we didn't meet her until she moved in next door to us?
Meg: Yeah, you were married and we were all born. We saw this happen.
Peter: [angry] You kids want this to be a How I Met Your Mother parody!? Well, the kids didn't interrupt the story in that show, so SHUT UP! [peacefully] Now, back to the story.

Lois: Alanis Morisette was America's sweetheart in the 90's. She went on to become one of the CDs in the garage.

Seamus: Lois, let's go take a midnight swim in Sharkbite Cove.
Lois: Oh, sounds wonderful, Seamus, but I have other plans.
Seamus: Okay, well. I'm definitely going.

Quagmire: Hey, guys! There's a great concert in World Trade Center Plaza this weekend!
Cleveland: Really? Who's playing?
Quagmire: They got Korn, Cranberries, and Cake.
Peter: Oh, that sounds delicious, but who are the bands?
Quagmire: Oh, they're opening with Cake.
Peter: Wait, shouldn't cake be last? It's a desert.
Quagmire: No, Korn is last. Korn is a bigger draw than Cake.
Peter: Corn is not a bigger draw than cake! Cake is delicious.
Quagmire: [reads the other bands] No Doubt ...
Peter: Well, I'm glad you agree with me, Quagmire, but that still doesn't address this issue of the order.
Bonnie: My last show was a Weezer concert.
Peter: Well, that's cuz everyone smokes nowadays. What band did we see last time at the Palladium?
Quagmire: It was uh, Blur.
Peter: Yeah, I can't remember either.

[Seamus enters, in perfect health]
Seamus: Hey, Lois. You missed a great time at Shark Bite Cove.
Chris: [in present day] Oh, come on! That wasn't how he lost his limbs!?

Peter: The MTV beach house was located in the most hepatitis rich part of Florida, known as Florida.

Quagmire: Whazzup!?
Peter: [chortles] Commercials. No skipping those yet.

[Joe hits on Daria Morgendorffer from Daria]
Joe: So, you partying hard or hardly partying?
Daria: Hardly interested.

[Mark McGrath, Pauly Shore, and Jamie Kennedy leave and go into the ocean, staying in the 90's forever]
Peter: Oh, well. Maybe Fry will celebrate the new millennium with me.
[Cutaway to Peter in the freezing chamber room with Fry; Fry is sitting back in his chair with a can of Slurm like he was in the Futurama pilot and Peter is standing on the other side of the table with a can of Pawtucket Patriot Ale]
Fry: Here's to another lousy millennium.
Peter: Cheers, brother.
[Peter clinks his beer can against's Fry's Slurm can, which knocks him backwards into the freezing chamber]
Fry: Whooooaaaa!
[Fry gets frozen for 1000 years]
Peter: Whoops. Let me fix that.
[Peter walks to the freezer and trips over Lord Nibbler]
Peter: Whoa!
[Peter lands on the dial of the freezer, setting it to the year 2019; suddenly the flashback stops and we see Fry kick down the door and enter The Griffin House, angry]
Fry: [angry] Hey, Peter! Remember me?
Peter: Uuuuuh, ...
Chris: You literally just told us about him in your story?
Peter: Lois?
Fry: [angry] It's me, Fry! Thanks for leaving me to freeze for 20 years, jerkface!
Peter: Oh, Fry. I'm so sorry, man. Here. Let me make it up to you. Come to the kitchen. I'll give you a can of Slurm.
Fry: [calm] Oh, ... Well that would make me feel much better.
[Peter and Fry enter the kitchen]
Fry: So, where's the Slurm?
[Peter opens the freezer]
Peter: Right here.
[Fry sticks his head in the freezer]
Fry: Where? I don't see it.
Peter: It's in the back there. Just keep looking.
[Peter pushes Fry in the freezer and closes the door on him]
Fry: Aaaah! [offscreen] Hey! You double-crossing bastard! Let me out of here!
[Peter sets the freezer timer for "The Year 2999" and goes back to the couch]
Peter: Alright, enough ruining the Futurama canon. Now back to the story.

Carter: Hey, you're Daisy Fuentes.
Daisy Fuentes: Oh, that's how I say my last name.

Daisy Fuentes: We're having fun cuz it's not 9/11 yet.

Lois: Right then and there, I vowed I would never see him again.
[Beavis and Butthead watch Family Guy]
Butthead: Eheheheheh. She said "Wood". Uhuhuhuh. That was cool.
Beavis: Yeah, wood! Wood!

Junior: Daddy, tell us more about the black 90's.
Cleveland: Well, Magic Johnson got AIDs and I was like "What!?" but then he came back the next season and scored thirty points in a game where no one would touch him.
Junior: And he caught it through heterosexual sex contact? Well, that is magic.
Roberta: Which one of us is telling this story anyway? I thought The Griffins were telling it across the street.
Cleveland: They are. That don't mean we can't tell the same story over here.

Quagmire: Forrest Gump is ridiculous! One guy does what he's told all the time and makes millions while a girl goes off, tries to be different, gets AIDs, and dies!
Peter: Hmm, I find your argument shallow and pedantic. Pulp Fiction is quite a, ... how shall I put this in layman's terms, ... clusterfuck.
Quagmire: WHAT!?
Peter: Let me finish, Gleonard. 600 different plotlines, starting and immediately ending was absolutely ridiculous and needlessly confusing. The whole film was a complete ADHD nightmare.
Quagmire: ADH-Okay, how's this? Your movie's most famous quote makes zero sense! When you have a box of chocolate, you know exactly what you're gunna get. It's chocolate! Stupidest analogy I've ever heard.
Peter: Well, that's more than can be said about the quotes from your movie. Ripping off a quote from the bible does not make it your movie quote.
Quagmire: That "ripped-off quote" was given new meaning, when place in the movie's context! But I guess you wouldn't understand because, as they say, stupid is as stupid does.
Peter: Sheesh. Check out the big ego on Quagmire.
Quagmire: You will know Pulp Fiction is better, when I lay my vengeance upon you!
Peter: Oh, yeah? Well, Forrest Gump is like a box of chocolates. You never know how much better it is than your movie ... Wow, you're right that is stupid. Nevermind, you win.

Carter: I can't believe the wedding is just two scenes away.

Carter: Now, listen. We don't have much time before the wedding, so I wanna go over something, regarding the father-daughter dance. It goes, Dalla halla walla balla dalla macarena. Waca laca chaca haca baca macarena.
Lois: Daddy, I don't think The Macarena is the best father-daughter dance.
Carter: Well, how 'bout another song from the 90's. [singing] Casey would waltz with a strawberry blonde and the band played on! [normal] What, wrong 90's?

Peter: We did ecstasy, which was terrible for you and only ever made me feel fantastic. Kids, don't do it. It's too awesome. They said it would burn a hole in your brain but show me the hole.
Lois: Peter, that's enough.
Peter: If you hate pure, unconditional love and experiencing the profound harmony of the universe, definitely do not try this drug. There's also like a 90% chance you'll hook up, but really, no, don't do it. Even if you don't hook up, you don't care. But you'll hook up, guaranteed.
Lois: Okay, Peter. Let's move on.
Chris: And what was the name of that drug?

Father Bob: Do you, Lois Common Denomonator Pewterschmidt, accept this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?

Peter: That's a fact. Just as sure as the Star Wars movies are a perfect isolated trilogy, unmarred by additional canon.

Roberta: Why did you drive a white bronco?
Cleveland: I was driving my innocent friend, O.J. and his ex-wife's head down to Mexico.
Rallo: Mmm, history's worst story of an innocent black man going behind bars.
Roberta: Didn't he recently confess to what he did?
Rallo: YOU SHUT YOUR TRUTH-SPEAKING MOUTH! O.J. IS AN ANGEL!

Lois: I was having serious regrets about my decision, but was already pregnant with Meg, so there was no backing out.

Meg: Wow, mom and dad. I feel like I've learned so much tonight and not just about you guys but also about the 90's.
Peter: Oh, there's a lot more to learn about the 90's, Meg. Like for instance, are you familiar with a band called Counting Crows?
Chris: I think I might've heard them in a Starbucks.
Peter: Yes, you have. Anyway, their lead singer is this thing called Adam Duritz. He looks like if Mark Marrin had sex with a scarecrow and gave birth to a baby made of hemp.
Meg: Actually, he looks more like Bob Marley got whitewashed, got a new job as a public high school math teacher, and quickly got fired after the #MeToo movement.
Stewie: He looks like that annoying, jovial uncle that every family has, found a pile of dead seaweed, used it as an ash tray for a couple of years, and then decided one day to wear it around as a wig.
Lois: I always thought he looked like The Cowardly Lion in a suburban white high school production of The Wiz.
Chris: That's not what that is?
Peter: No, Chris. But actually, the joke's on us because this Sideshow Bob burnout slept with a primo roster of 90's tail. Jennifer Aniston, ...
Chris: No.
Peter: ... Courtney Cox ...
Chris: What!?
Peter: ... Winona Ryder ...
Chris: That guy!?
Peter: ... Christina Applegate, Lara Flynn Boyle, Emmy Rossum, ...
Chris: Well, this is just making me angry!
Peter: ... Mary-Louise Parker ...
Chris: Mmm, I hear she's difficult.

Songs

Trivia

  • This episode provides a full in-depth exploration of how Peter and Lois met, fell in love, and got married, as opposed to the show's previous telling of the story, via a few brief flashback and cutaway gags.
  • This is also the first flashback episode of the series, since "Untitled Griffin Family History".
  • This episode retcons a lot of previously established history in the lore of Family Guy.
    • Peter, Quagmire, and Cleveland used to live together in an apartment in New York. As did Lois, Bonnie, and Loretta in their own apartment. Given the previously established timeline of the show, it's very unlikely there would have ever been even a brief window of time, where this could have possibly happen, even if it was for an unreasonably short period of time.
    • Bonnie was friends with Peter and Lois long before their kids were born. This is contradictory to the series canon, wherein Bonnie didn't meet Peter and Lois until the events of the episode, "A Hero Sits Next Door", which took place well after the birth of their kids. Chris and Meg notice this and call out this inconsistency.
    • A "break" in Peter and Lois' relationship is written into the lore of the series, suggesting that after they started dating in high school, the couple decided to take a break for a few years. During that time, the plot of this episode happened. Lois dated a few boys during the breakup, such as Brad Pitt and the aforementioned Barry.
    • Lois used to know Seamus Levine back in the 90's. This is impossible, given that Seamus did not get properly introduced to Lois until she met him in the present-day episode, "Peter the Cheater".
    • Lois was once engaged to Tom Tucker and she nearly married him. In the actual show, there is absolutely no mention of this and the two have had tons of extended interactions with each other. If this really happened in their past, you'd think they'd bring it up at least once ... but they didn't.
    • Lois' 28th birthday took place during the 90's. If she was born in 1958, this would be impossible because the youngest she was during the 90's was 31.
    • Joe Swanson and Kimi Quagmire were present at the beach party, despite the fact that they would not be introduced to the cast until the episodes "A Hero Sits Next Door" and "Take My Wife", respectively.
    • Lois' middle name is revealed to be "Common-Denominator", which is a contradiction of her name being revealed to be "Patrice" in "Call Girl". However, Peter's middle name was revealed to be "Löwenbräu" in the episode "Peter, Peter, Caviar Eater" and later revealed to be "Justin" in "Quagmire's Mom", so this can be excused.
    • Lois was pregnant with Meg before she and Peter got married in the 90's. However, Meg was born in on June 2, 1990, which would mean that in order for this to be possible, Lois would have only been pregnant with Meg for 6 months. Also, the flashback clearly takes place deep in the 90's, meaning that there was no way for their marriage to have taken place right on the first year of the decade.
  • Additionally: This story also messes with the canon of two other shows, Friends and Futurama.
    • In a deleted scene, Peter says there were originally 9 friends in the show, Friends, but 3 of them died of pneumonia from splashing around in the water fountain during very cold weather in the middle of the night in the very busy New York city. One of the dead friends was named "Chad" and his last words were "Don't let Monica get Botox." Another one was named "Barry".
    • Peter corrupts the famous scene in Futurama, where Fry falls backwards into the freezer and gets sent to the year 2999, by not only being present, but also by resetting the timer to the year 2019, causing Fry to appear in present day, only for Peter to shove him in his freezer and once again, freeze him until the year 2999.
  • Loretta Brown appears in the flashback, voiced by her original voice actor, Alex Borstein. This is because the flashback takes placed before she died.
    • Additionally, Lois complains about "having to do Loretta's voice again". This is a reference to how her voice actor, "Alex Borstein" was also Loretta's voice actor as well as a jab at how Borstein has been known to make behind-the-scenes complaints about having to voice her, deeming her deep and gruff voice as too "strenuous", hence the character's resignation from the show.
  • Glenn Quagmire's full name is revealed to be "Gleonard Quagmire".
  • First episode, where we get to see Seamus before he lost his limbs.
    • It's also revealed that he's a blond.
  • Bonnie's first concert was a Weezer concert.
  • It is revealed that Lois' middle name is "Common-Denominator", a pun on the phrase "Lowest Common Denominator."
  • It is revealed that Lois was pregnant with Meg before she got married, making Meg a bastard child.
  • Brian Griffin has no dialogue in this episode and Stewie only has three lines.

Cultural References

  • In numerous background shots and depicted on many postcards and calendars, The Twin Towers are very prominently features and still standing tall, taking a subtle jab at the fact that 9/11 had not yet happened.
  • There is an overarching theme of parodying Friends in this episode.
  • A slew of 90's bands perform at the World Trade Center, including Korn, The Cranberries, Cake, No Doubt, Weezer, and Blur. The last of which is technically an 80's band, but it's popularity did spill over into the 90's, so it still counts.

Continuity

  • This episode's framing device is similar to the Star Wars episodes, wherein the power goes out and Peter passes the time by telling a story about Star Wars.
  • Chris brings up how Bonnie and her family moved into Spooner Street in the episode "A Hero Sits Next Door".

Deleted Scenes

  • Peter breaking the fourth wall to tell Meg that she had a good episode idea.
  • Peter describing himself as the "Chandler" of the group.
  • Alternate dub of the "Fountain Dance", where Peter describes that there were originally 9 cast members of Friends before three of them died of pneumonia.
  • Meg interrupting the story to ask why Lois was single in the story and Lois explaining it.
  • Chris being surprised that Seamus had arms and legs.
  • Peter narrating that he and his friends wanted to experience all that the 90's had to offer.
  • An overly long guitar sting transition from one scene to the next.
  • Chris asking what Peter did for a living and Peter saying that it didn't matter.
  • Peter secretly sneaking off to watch male porn.
  • A bunch of random people fighting during Paul Reiser's, Mad About You.
  • Quagmire explaining the "Schwing" joke.
  • Joey Lawrence showing up for no reason.
  • Peter watching more male porn in present day.
  • Peter telling the story of a time he ate a half-eaten hot dog off the ground.
  • Peter dancing for 8 hours straight, peeing in the pool, and getting stung by a bee.
  • Peter narrating how he kissed Daisy Fuentes.
  • Lois narrating how she looked at pictures of John Ellway.
  • Trimming of the Beavis & Butthead gag.
  • Peter and Chris joking about The Brown-Tubbs Family's last name.
  • Peter laughing at Bill Lumbergh.
  • Peter admits to not watching either Forrest Gump or Pulp Fiction.
  • Dialogue trimming of Peter describing how awesome ecstasy is.
  • Peter being sad about the death of Brandon Lee.
  • Peter asking Lois about the combo code for Mortal Kombat.
  • Two jokes about Peter hoping that Daisy felt something, when she kissed him.
  • Peter narrating how he punched people in a church.
  • Peter narrating how he got swindled on his deal with getting married at Fenway Park.
  • Peter getting chased by a bee and crapping his pants.
  • Peter showing up with Beavis and Butthead on the Twin Towers once again.

Gallery

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