Peter's Two Dads

Peter's Two Dads
	Season 6, Episode 17
Air date	January 27, 2008
	List of Episodes
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Peter's Two Dads is the seventeenth episode of season six of Family Guy. It is the one hundred and twenty-ninth episode, overall.

Synopsis[]

Peter accidentally kills his father, only to learn he's not his real father.

Plot[]

Meg asks for a lot of things, like a live band, to perform at her birthday party. Peter and Lois have no idea what the party is for, and after being reminded by Chris that Meg’s birthday is coming up, they both admit they forgot and, worse yet, aren’t sure how old she will be. Peter and Lois begin to organize Meg’s 17th birthday party, which Meg complains is too childish. Peter dresses up as a dirty hobo clown and after getting drunk and trying to ride his unicycle down the stairs, falls and lands on his father, Francis. Francis is taken to the hospital, where he later dies, his last words to Peter being, “You’re a fat, stinkin' drunk!”. However, the family finally sigh in relief, over him finally being dead and burn his body in a fireplace and roast marshmallows over it while having a party.

During the party, Thelma lifts a secret that she hid from Peter. She tells him that she had an affair with an Irish man while vacationing in Ireland 40 years earlier, even mentioning the times Francis told Peter he was not his real father. So Peter and Brian go to McSwiggan Village, a stereotypical small Irish village to search for Peter’s long-lost father, whose name is Mickey McFinnigan. Upon asking the locals if they know him, they find out he is the town drunk.

The two finally meet in Wifey McBeaty’s Tavern, but Mickey doesn’t believe that he is really Peter’s father. So Peter challenges him to a drinking contest and wins, which in turn wins Mickey’s admiration and proves to him that Peter must be his son. Although Peter's excited to have formed a bond with his real father, Brian points out that while Francis may not have been Peter's real father (and obviously wasn't the nicest person ever), he did raise Peter like he was his own son, showing that deep down, Francis really did love Peter. Peter accepts this, but is still willing to have Mickey as his biological father. Peter, Mickey and the Irish crowd enter dancing and singing to "Drunken Irish Dad." During the last few seconds of the dance, Mickey does a toast using a beer glass to Peter. But after drinking it, he himself ends up dying due to the beer being poisoned.

While Stewie going through the greed phase that is typical of toddlers his age. Lois finally gets fed up over it, and punishes Stewie by slapping him. Stewie becomes fearful at first, but then develops a taste for abuse. He repeatedly tries to get Lois to strike him, but gives it up after admitting he might have a problem.

Characters[]

Major Roles[]

Minor Roles[]

Quotes[]

Lois: What's she talking about? A party for what?

Peter: I dunno. D'She have her period or something? Is she getting married?

Lois: No, if she was getting married, we probably would have seen a guy around, right?

Peter: Sound reasoning.

Chris: You guys... its Meg's birthday next week.

Stewie: [falsetto] Hello, it's Mrs. Pennyapple again. Shall I put you down for two, Brendan?

Brian: Brian.

Stewie: [falsetto] Ryan?

Brian: Brian.

Stewie: [falsetto] Mitchell?

Brian: What?

Stewie: [falsetto] Goodbye.

Lois: You're asking me?

Peter: Yeah, how old is Meg?

Lois: I don't know

Peter: Well, my god Lois, I thought you were the one keeping track of that.

Lois: Oh, no.. I have no idea. Don't you remember me faking my way through her last birthday? Should we... Should we just ask her how old she is?

Peter: That, eh... That would be kinda awkward, huh? Maybe we should just cut off her leg and count the rings. [laughs]

Lois: Yeah. Or maybe try carbon dating. [they laugh again]

Peter: I don't know what that is.

Lois: Meg, that kind of language is not appropriate for a girl your age... or is it?

Quagmire: Eh-he-he. Sooo... which one of you wants to lose your virginity?

Asian Santa: What you want? What you want for Christmas?

Stewie: Um... I was thinking one of those old time-y...

Asian Santa: Too Late! Take too long! SAD CHRISTMAS! [he throws Stewie off his lap and an Asian kid is put on it] What you want?

Asian Kid: Fire Truck!

Asian Santa: What color?

Asian Kid: Red!

Asian Santa: Next!

Asian Kid: [As he is thrown off Santa] AHHH!

Lois: How is he, doctor?

Dr. Hartman: Mrs. Griffin, his internal injuries were much too severe. I'd estimate he'll be dead within the hour.

Peter: Dad, I'm sorry that I broke all of your ribs, busted your spleen and punctured your lung. I don't know if you can hear me right now, but I...I hope you know. I love you, dad.

Francis: Peter, come closer. There's something I need to say to you.

Peter: I'm here, dad. What is it?

Francis: Peter, you're a fat, stinking drunk!

[Francis tries to hit him in the crotch with a bag of nickels he snuck under the bed, but misses. Peter looks back to Francis with a "Really?" face for a second, and grabs the bag and returns the favor by hitting Francis in the crotch with them]

Francis: (weakly) Ow...

[Francis dies]

Peter: Oh my God, he's dead. He can't be dead. Dad...

[The family cries, but it turns to laughter, proving they faked it]

Peter: He's finally dead! Alright, let's all do what we wanted to do with him.

[Cuts to Lois and Brian throwing Francis' corpse in the outside fireplace and Thelma pouring gasoline on it. With Peter lighting a match]

Peter: This is for all the abuse

[Peter throws the match onto Francis' corpse and it immediately bursts to flames]

Stewie: Come on, discipline me, make me wear panties, rub dirt in my eye, violate me with a wine bottle. My God, I really do have problems don't I?

Bruce: You know, the anus has the second highest density of nerve endings in the body.

Thelma: I'm surprised it took you this long. I mean, think about it.

[As Peter thinks, it flashes back to past memories, the first one being when Peter was a child, coming up to Francis, who was sitting on his chair and blowing a party blower]

Young Peter: Happy birthday, Dad!

Young Francis: I'm not your dad.

[In the second memory, Peter, who's now a teenager, comes to Francis, who's now middle-aged, with a card]

Teen Peter: Happy Father's Day, Pop.

Middle-Aged Francis: I'm not your dad!

[In the third memory, Peter approaches the Francis and Thelma are sitting at the kitchen table, all in their present appearances, with a cake]

Peter: Happy anniversary, Mom and Pop!

Francis: For crying out loud, [slaps his hand for every word] I'm not your dad! (suddenly calm) And furthermore, is that chocolate cake?

[End of flashbacks]

Thelma: Something tells me the cake caused him to stop

Peter: I don't know, Mom. I've been so used to Francis being my dad, even if I hated the man, and I doubt my real father would love me

[As Peter says this, Francis becomes a burning zombie]

Zombie Francis: You used me to make marshmallows?!

The Griffins: Aaah!!

[The family runs behind Peter as Francis approaches Peter]

Brian: [Gives Peter a shovel] Peter, take this shovel, and smash his body with it!

Peter: But Brian, he's my dad! I can't do that to him.

Brian: Peter, he might- [Francis starts to eat off his ear] Ah! Get away!

Peter: I'm sorry, Dad!

[Peter knocks down Francis with the shovel and proceeds to use it to bludgeon Francis to death with tears in his eyes so hard that blood is on the shovel. After making sure he's dead, Peter drops the shovel]

Peter: One second thought, maybe a second father isn't that bad.

Peter: I don't know, Lois. All I know is somewhere in the great land of Ireland, there's a big fat bastard who looks like me.

Meg: Come back soon, Daddy. I love you.

Peter: That'll do, pig, that'll do.

Peter: You know, Ireland has more drunks per capital than people.

Irish man: Aye, It is McSwiggin Village, where the hills are green, the streams are clear, and the sweaters are soo thick, even the boniest fingered nun could poke you in the chest and it wouldn't bother you none.

Mickey McFinnigan: Top of the morning, laddies! Lemme cut 'ya an Irish Rose! [farts] I don't know exactly where the County Cork is... but I know where it should be!

Mickey McFinnigan: You can't be my son. Just ask my sheep, O'Brian.

O'Brian: Whose leg do you have to hump to get a pint of Guinness around here?

[Brian and Peter are sitting on a bench in the park]

Peter: Aw man, this is awful. I have two fathers, and neither one of them wants anything to do with me.

Brian: How ironic.

Peter: There's gotta be some way I can make him see that I'm worthy of being his son.

[After a short beat, Francis comes from behind Peter and Brian]

Francis' Ghost: Peter, you're a fat stinking drunk!

Peter/Brian: Aah!

[The shock causes Brian and Peter to fall off the bench]

Francis' Ghost: Ha-ha! I got you so good, Peter! And just at the best time! You couldn't even get your own real father to love you. [wipes a tear from his eye] This is just so funny to me. No matter where you go, you'll always be a fat stinking drunk who can't do anything right!

Peter: Wait, what? What did you call me?

Francis' Ghost: I-I called you a fat stinking drunk. Something I've been calling you all this time, and now's the time you notice?!

[As Francis goes off on a rant, Peter gains an idea]

Peter: Brian, that's it!

Francis' Ghost: I'm sorry, what?

Brian: Come again?

Peter: Brian, the answer to how I can impress my real dad was right there from my adopted one! About the only way I can ever impress him is if I was a fat, stinkin' drunk. But I'm already am. So, the only way to show him is to challenge him. Come on, Brian. We're going back to that tavern to show my dad I'm his son.

[He and Brian run off, but Peter turns back to go to Francis]

Peter: Oh, Francis, thanks for coming down here to give me that advice. Finally did something to make me proud to your son.

Francis' Ghost: Eh, you're welcome? Question mark?

O'Brian: I bet twenty on the fat one.

O'Brian and Brian: Which one's "the fat one"?

Peter: What happened?

Brian: Peter, you won!

Mickey McFinnigan: By God, nobody's every beaten me at the game of drink!

Peter: Now do you believe that you're my dad?

Mickey McFinnigan: Nobody but a McFinnigan could handle that much of the creature, you're the broth of me own Stubby-Shillelagh alright. Welcome to my family, Peter.

Songs[]

My Drunken Irish Dad
Friends and Lovers
Sixteen Going on Seventeen

Trivia[]

Since Francis is not Peter's real father and therefore Peter is only a Griffin in name, not bloodline, Peter is not really related to Nate Griffin and is therefore not really part black. Although it is conceivable the Griffins and the McFinnigans share a common ancestor.
Meg says she’s turning 17, but in "The Cleveland-Loretta Quagmire", a drunk Brian goes over to her, claiming she is already 17.
Peter mentions planning parties is worse than being stuck behind Robert Loggia at the airport. It then shows a scene with Robert Loggia spelling his name out slowly, using himself to describe each letter while spelling it for the clerk.
Francis dies in this episode.
Lois appears as a dominatrix in Stewie’s fantasies.
The song Lois sings in the flashback to Meg’s last birthday party is "Sixteen Going on Seventeen" from The Sound of Music.
In her bedroom, Meg has a poster of American boy-band 'N Sync, which Seth MacFarlane comments to be from "back when they were around".
As a birthday present, Meg receives a copy of the first season of the TV show Sister, Sister on DVD from Cleveland.
Excluding Ireland itself, Cork is the only real Irish area and county to be mentioned in the episode.
Peter tries to prove he is brave by saying that he managed to sit halfway through Failure to Launch.
David Tua is drawn by Stewie on the wall with a crayon to incite Lois to hit him.
Peter tries to entertain at Meg’s party by riding a unicycle. He first learned how to ride in “Peterotica”.
This episode marks the second time in which Stewie’s interactions with the rest of the family are questioned; when he draws a picture of David Tua on the wall he says so out loud, and a moment later Lois expresses surprise that the picture Stewie drew looks somewhat like Tua, as if she had no idea what Stewie had said. Stewie’s intelligence and capacity to talk has only been questioned once before, in the final scene of “E. Peterbus Fargnum”.
Quagmire tells a joke about a cocktail named grasshopper.
The pub where Peter and Mickey McFinnigan were drinking is called Wifey McBeaty’s Tavern.
As reported in the DVD commentary; Stewie, upon discovering he liked being hit by Lois, was supposed to sing a version of "I Want It Now!" from the film Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. It was cut for time and has never been released due to licensing issues.

Peter's Two Dads
Season 6, Episode 17

Air date	January 27, 2008
List of Episodes
Previous No Meals on Wheels	Next Believe It or Not, Joe's Walking on Air