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Partial Terms of Endearment
Partial Terms of Endearment is the banned season finale of season 9 of Family Guy.

Synopsis

A friend asks Lois to be a surrogate mother, and she agrees. But when her friend unexpectedly dies, Lois isn't sure what to do.

Plot

When Lois attends her 20th year reunion at Salve Regina College, Peter is reluctant to attend at first, cautious about Lois running into old boyfriends, she runs into Naomi Robinson who she tells Peter she had experimented sexually with. When she meets Lois at their reunion, she tells Lois she has a proposal, Peter assumes she is talking about three-way sexual intercourse. When she shows up with her husband Dale, Peter assumes it's turning into an orgy, although he is disappointed he's not getting his three-way, Peter tries to make the best of a bad situation by setting up porno movie plots for them to reenact. When they clear the air that they're not there for sex, they tell Lois and Peter they've had trouble conceiving and ask Lois to be a surrogate mother for them. Despite Peter's objections, Lois goes through with the procedure to implant one of Naomi's fertilized eggs in her uterus, enduring more of Dr. Hartman's shtick involving celebrity crossbreeds and having a tribe of bush men implant the egg with blowguns. Peter plots to have Lois miscarriage, first by hiring 1980's break dancers but hires 1990's rappers instead. He also tries a stunt worthy of Wile E. Coyote with similar results. Peter and Lois are thrown for a loop when Naomi and Dale are killed in a traffic accident shortly thereafter, on the same day that Dale wins the lottery. Lois and Peter are in a quandary as to what to do with the embryo and decide to take Brian's suggestion to consider abortion. Just when Lois decides to go through with the abortion, Peter watches a video hosted by anti-abortionists. The video, Abortion Madness!, shows various people that would have been alive if they hadn't been aborted including a guy that would have killed Adolf Hitler, Osama bin Laden's America-loving brother and a fourth stooge who insists his inclusion would have been hilarious. The video causes Peter to change his mind, dragging Lois out of the clinic. After a night of discussion, Lois goes ahead with the abortion.

Characters

Major Characters

Minor Characters

Quotes

Peter: I'm just not wild about the idea of running into anybody you used to date, that's all.
Lois: Oh boy, speaking of ex's, here comes one now.
Peter: Aw, man, this is what I was afraid of. If he tries anything, while I'm standing here, I'm gunna kick him right in the balllll ... [Peter notices Lois' ex is a woman] ... lllllgina?

Lois: Peter, this is Naomi.
Peter: Wait, you mean, you two used to, you know, bump Japanese cartoon monkey logo-looking mouths?

Peter: No, way! My wife messed around with another chick! Thank you, God!
God: Don't mention it, Peter.
[God gives a commercialized thumbs up to the camera]
Jingle Singers: [singing] God, he know's what turns you on.
God: Have fun!

Peter: I'm dreaming. I'm totally dreaming right now. Well as long as I'm dreaming, I might as well pee my pants.
[Peter pees in his pants]

Brian: Peter, you're not gunna be having a three way with Lois and her friend. Lois isn't even into women. She just had that one experience in college with that girl, Naomi.
Peter: Naomi's the one that's coming.
Brian: [rushes into the house, crying, while Peter grabs his collar and pulls him back] Let me stay! Let me stay! [gets thrown outside and locked there by Peter]

Peter: Hi, Naomi. Did you pick up those tear-away panties, like I texted you?
Naomi: I didn't get a text from you.
Peter: Huh, must have sent it to the wrong guy.
[Cutaway to Joe, in his house, reading his text]
Joe: Alright, not sure why, but I'll bite.

Naomi: I want you to meet my husband, Dale.
[Dale enters]
Dale: Hi Lois, Hi Peter.
Lois: Hi, nice to meet you Dale.
Peter: Dale!? Alright I guess, but I'm doing you last. [to Lois] Joke's on him. I've only got two in me.

Peter: Wait a minute, let me get this straight, so you guys, can't have a baby?
Dale: Unfortunately, no.
Peter: Well, who's fault it it? I me-I mean, which one of you has the thing that's horribly wrong with them?

Brian: Well, I support you, Lois. I think it's great what you're doing.
Stewie: Yeah, it's great. You're treating your vagina like a Red Roof Inn.
Brian: That's not how it is, Stewie. She's doing something wonderful for a couple who can't have their own children and are too egotistical to adopt.
Stewie: You know what's interesting about Lois' vagina, Brian? Everyone in this room has been in there, except for you. You're the only one who doesn't know what it looks like.

Lois: They need a healthy, female body to carry the baby.
Meg: I can do it.
Lois: Oh, come on, Meg, it was hard enough on your body, when you gave birth to Stewie.
Stewie: [horrified] WHAT!?
Lois: [laughs] I'm just joking. That's not true.
Stewie: [unpleasantly relieved] Oh, not cool.

Lois: You've never even had a boyfriend for more than a few weeks.
Meg: I have too. Remember that winter I spent in Greenland?
[Cutaway to Meg and her boyfriend, Lars, in Greenland during winter. The screen is completely pitch black.]
Lars: I had a great winter with you, Meg.
Meg: Me too, Lars. Gosh, I can't believe it's almost spring.
[Suddenly the sun pops up, shining light into the scene, and we see Meg and Lars sitting on a park bench]
Lars: Ick!
Meg: Yep.

[Chris and Peter are sitting on the couch and Chris hears faint music]
Chris: Dad, what's that? I think I hear music.
Peter: Oh, that's the little people, Chris. They're playing music so that I may bless them with food.
[Peter drops a crumb down to the little people]
Little People: Yaaaaaay!

Peter: I can't believe she went ahead and did it. After I specifically told her how I felt.
Brian: Look, clearly she believed it was in her right to-[stops and sniffs something] Lois just peed on something.
[Quagmire sticks his head in the window]
Quagmire: Hey, Brian, you picking up on that?
Brian: Yup.

Peter: We have decided against the procedure.
Brian: Really, why?
Peter: Because it's killing babies, Brian. If God wanted us to kill babies, he'd make them all Chinese girls.
Brian: Peter, it's not a baby. It's a fertilized egg. It's the size of the tip of a pin.
Peter: It's alive, isn't it? To kill any living thing is an abortion. That's what the man I met told me and he had a T-Shirt on that confirmed it.
Brian: Okay, well sperm is alive and every time you masturbate, millions of them die, so is it wrong to kill sperm?
Peter: Yes, yes it is. From now on, no more masturbating in this house.
Chris: WHAT!?
Meg: WHY!?
Peter: Because masturbation is abortion.
Chris: But abortion helps me get my homework done and sometimes I abort in my sleep, what am I supposed to do about that?

Brian: Peter, what's inside of Lois won't be remotely human for six months. There's no brain activity until at least the 27th week.
Peter: It's still a person, Brian, it's a woman's responsibility to carry it to term.
Brian: Well, what if the woman was raped?
Peter: Maybe she should have thought of that before she asked me for directions.
Brian: What?
Peter: Huh?

Lois: Well, what about incest, Peter?
Chris: What's incest?
Lois: You know how Cousin Lou has that kid, whose eyes touch?
Peter: Oh, what so you're saying touch-eyes doesn't deserve to exist? Well, you don't mind him when you want a needle threaded.
Lois: Peter, I'm just saying they should at least have the option.
Peter: How could you say that? Think about all the love he's given to Uncle Mom and Aunt Dad?

Brian: Peter, what if carrying the maturating fetus to term would potentially imperil or even inevitably nullify the mother's life?
Peter: I don't know what seven of those words mean.

Meg: What if you look at the Ultrasound and see that the baby's gunna be born without any arms or legs?
Peter: You name it Matt.
[Peter takes out a comic horn and honks it]

Peter: Lois, you go down there and I'll blow the place up!
Lois: You wouldn't!
Peter: You've seen Family Guy, you know I would!

Lois: Well, I think we made the right decision. I mean, sure. Havin' a baby costs a fortune. There's cutbacks on things we love. There's diapers and cryin' and late nights with no sleep. Flu shots and mumps and driver's ed and college tuition. But you know what? It's one more person to share the world with. Another little voice in the back seat of the car. One more Griffin to love and to love us in return.
Peter: [to the camera] We had the abortion.

Songs

Trivia

  • This episode was not planned to air on FOX in the US. It received its world premiere in the UK on BBC Three on June 20th, 2010 and was released on DVD in the US on September 28th, 2010. Although its air date places it at the end of Season 8, the episode's broadcast in the UK happened between "Go, Stewie, Go!" and "Peter-assment". Footage from the episode finally aired in the US with the airing of the "200 Episodes Later" special in 2012.
  • This episode was the last new episode to air in 4:3 standard definition. The last one in production order is "Brian & Stewie".
  • Meg mentions when she dated Count von Count from Sesame Street. He counts three nipples on Meg's breasts, gets freaked out and leaves her.
  • This is another episode where Peter suddenly change his viewpoints solely because of watching or hearing another viewpoint. Other episodes include "Stew-Roids" regarding steroid use, in "Prick Up Your Ears" when it came to abstinence, "Padre de Familia" in regards to immigration, and twice in "Family Goy" in regards to religion.
  • Peter breaks the Fourth wall when Lois questions whether or not he would really blow up the abortion clinic. He notes she knows he would do it because she's "seen Family Guy".
  • Among Peter's porn scenarios includes: being a pizza delivery boy, a college teacher and a Nazi soldier.
  • Salve Regina College changed its name to Salve Regina University in 1991 after revising its charter.

Cultural References

  • The title is a reference to the film "Terms of Endearment".
  • Peter describes a vagina as a "Cartoon monkey logo-looking mouth". This is a reference to the logo of Paul Frank. A Japanese-born clothing company with an iconic monkey head logo, with a mouth that looks suspiciously similar to a sideways vagina.
  • Brian spoofs the Cowardly Lion from The Wizard of Oz then he tries to stay in the house when he finds out Lois' friend Naomi is the one coming over to see Lois.
  • When Lois is about to have the embryos implanted, Dr. Hartman tells her that the procedure will be performed by a group of Peruvian natives. However, Lois then says she does not want this method of procedure, Dr. Hartman replies, "Well, perhaps you could tell them. If only you spoke Hovitos." This is a reference to the film Raiders of the Lost Ark.
  • The anti-abortion film Abortion Madness! is a parody of Reefer Madness, a 1936 American exploitation film revolving around the tragic events that ensue when high school students are lured by pushers to try "marihuana" which is considered comical today.
  • The scene where Peter lures Lois out to the desert with DVD's of Grey's Anatomy and how his trap backfires is a reference to Looney Tunes characters, Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner. Also the Miscarriage Kit is from ACME.

Errors

  • When Dr. Hartman pulls the curtain at the hospital, the area that he and Lois are in is much bigger.
  • The arms on Peter's glasses disappear directly before the 'proud as a peacock' sketch.
  • After Peter says that if God wanted babies to die he would make them Chinese girls, the bridge of his glasses disappears.
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