Stand up all fat men.
Stand up straight.
Stand up because no chair can hold your weight.
Hold your head up high.
Keep your double chin up.
But don't do it too quickly, or else you'll throw up.
To make it all the way to the top, without fail,
great, were the towering staircases we have scaled
Gross, were the dietary plans we've slain.
That proves our fathers hadn't died of diabetes in vain.
If God created us to be so big.
He must be a big fat pig.
God's really flabby with an ass so wide.
His arms look like pillows with cake mix inside.
God's man boobs are flabby and they hurt when he jogs.
And the back of God's neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.