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Peter and His Ugly Mom
Mom's the Word is an episode of Family Guy.

Synopsis

A friend of Peter's mother makes things awkward when she straight up kisses him. Meanwhile, Stewie goes through a crisis and starts looking for a religion to find peace in.

Plot

Lois gives Peter grief for eating raw cookie dough. At work, Peter is bored while sitting through a meeting until his stomach starts to give him trouble and he soils himself trying to get to the restroom. When he walks into the house, he is greeted by his friends and family and is told that his mother has died of a stroke. After the funeral, the family sorts though Thelma's belongings when Thelma's friend Evelyn stops by and offers to catch up with Peter later. Visiting with her in her at the retirement village, her company comforts Peter. Evelyn meets with Peter's friends at the Clam but they are disturbed by her and bolt. When they admit feeling comfortable around each other, Evelyn plants a kiss on Peter which shakes him up.

Peter tells Lois about what happened and is told to talk things over with her. She dismisses it as an effect of her medicine but when they spend the day together her antics take on a decidedly sexual theme and Peter demands they quit seeing each other. Peter goes to visit the grave of his mother and Evelyn meets him there, telling him that he is the first man to pay attention to her since her own husband died. But when they hug, Peter snaps her back, killing her as he leaves her with the cemetery groundskeeper to take care of.

At Thelma's funeral, Stewie is surprised to learn that he will someday die himself. Stewie finds himself unable to sleep that night and confesses that he is afraid of dying. To reassure Stewie, Brian takes him around to various religious institutions to get their take on death. Stewie is unsatisfied with the answers he gets and tries to find the solution on his own. Things are made worse when Brian admits his own belief that there is nothing after death and decides to take his own life first. He tries to kill himself by various means including hanging and death by cop as well as dropping a toaster in the bathtub which only gives him super powers. Brian finds him trying to jump out a window and stops him, telling him he shouldn't be afraid of living at the moment. Stewie considers becoming a singer-song writer and Brian pauses, but when Stewie calls him on it, he agrees to sit though his act. But when Stewie starts to sing, Brian can't go though with it and tells him to kill himself.

Characters

Major Roles

Minor Roles

Quotes

Brian: Peter, what are you doing?
Peter: Oh, I'm watching this awesome show, Brian. See, they took all these colors and they're making them all live together in a beach house. Now the red one is sleeping with the green one, which means the green one is cheating on the purple one. The blue one thinks he's gunna have a career in music but his girlfriend, the pink one thinks he's spending more time thinking about music and not enough time with her and the yellow one is just a total bitch.
Brian: Peter, that's just a channel that's gone off the air.
[Screen shows that Peter is watching SMPTE color bars on the TV]
TV Announcer: And we'll be right back with more Color Bar Beach House after these messages. When we return, ...
[Screen shows anthropomorphic colors bars; the purple one catches the red and green ones sleeping together]
Purple: [gasp] Green! Are you cheating on me!?
Green: Uh, Purple. I can explain!
[Pink is shown with Blue]
Blue: I got a job as a DJ! Aren't you happy for me!?
Pink: Why does it always have to be about you, Blue!?
[The yellow one is shown]
Yellow: Buy me a new Ferrari! I want a yellow one!
[Screen pans out to show a black bar with her]
Black: God damn, woman! You know, if weren't so damn fine, I'd dump yo bitch ass.
TV Announcer: Please stand by.
[The SMPTE "Please Stand By" bar shows up on screen]

Lois: Peter, for God sake. Did you eat this entire roll of raw cookie dough?
Peter: Oh is that what that was? I thought it was a raisin sausage.

Angela: So, as you can see, our quarterly output is up one and a half percent. That's not net. I'm talking gross.
Peter: You do everything gross. [chortles]
[Peter puts a tally mark on hide side of a piece of paper saying "Peter" and "Everyone Else"]

Peter: [thought] I think that cookie dough is fighting that taco I found in the parking lot.

Angela: And now 23 minutes of silence for the 23 workers who drowned in the vats this year.

[Peter walks into his house and sees all his friends and family gathered there]
Quagmire: There he is.
Peter: [offended] Oh! Oh I see! Oh, you're all here because you heard the news! Well, fine! Peter Griffin crapped himself at work! Happy!?
Lois: Peter.
Peter: No! No Lois! Le-Le-Let's get it all out! I'm sure you've also heard that someone walked into my office, while I was sucking on my own toes and do I go fast walking in nurse's shoes every Saturday in the park? Yes I do!
Joe: Peter, we're not here because of any of that.
Peter: Ooookay, I know what this is about! Somebody saw me holding hands with a guy at Quiznos this morning! Alright, and was I involved with the Oklahoma city bombing? A little bit!
Quagmire: No, dad. You're not getting it.
Peter: Alright, we'll go deeper! Yeah, I was swindled by that cat who said he was from the future. Turns out he was just a present day cat with a smooth sales pitch.
Chris: Well, we've all been there before.
Meg: Dad, you don't understand.
Peter: Oh, I understand. I understand I've made hundreds of deadly enemies by shouting racial taunts up at the jailhouse windows! Oh, and another thing! Raise your hand if you think ducks are magic! And up it goes! Peter's the only one!
Lois: Peter, that's not why they're here. And no, none of us heard of you soiling yourself at work.
Peter: Oh ... Well, why is everybody here?
Lois: Peter, you're mother is dead. She had a stroke this afternoon and ... she died.
Peter: You don't die from that, Lois! You just talk funny and host New Year's Eve!
Lois: Peter, it's true. I'm so sorry.
Peter: Oh my God ... I don't believe it ... She's gone?

Peter: My mother always hoped to be buried with her pet cat, Mittens so I'd like to thank the Quahog Veterinary Society for putting Mittens down so early.

Peter: Okay, I will now take questions from the audience.

Evelyn: You must be Peter. I'm Evelyn, a friend of your mother's.
Peter: Oh. Oh, hi. This is my family. They're of no comfort.

Evelyn: I know it's tough what you're going through. You're where I was 17 years ago, when I lost my husband, Walter. He died of pancreatic cancer.
Peter: That sounds sad but I didn't know him.

Stewie: I can't go to sleep, Brian. I'm scared!
Brian: Scared? Of what?
Stewie: Of death!
Brian: Well, you're not alone. The world is full of people who can't accept death and they all have their own ideas of what happens when we die.
Stewie: Really? Like what? Tell me! Are any of them blindly reassuring?

Brian: I gotta say it's weird to see you so worked up about this. I mean, you're not afraid of anything. Even that monster in your closet.
Stewie: Ah, he's on his way out of here. Ever since he violated the section of his lease that doesn't allow sub letters!
[Stewie's closet monster, "Ethan" comes out]
Ethan: What are you talking about? I don't have anyone else in here.
[A second monster, "Marv" comes out]
Marv: Just tell them the truth, Ethan.

Stewie: So, where do Jews go when they die?
Rabbi Riggle: Where do you think we go?
Stewie: We-I don't know. That's why I'm asking you.
Rabbi Riggle: Why do you think you're asking all these questions?
Stewie: I ... I jus-I just really wanna know what happens.
Rabbi Riggle: Do you think that's part of God's infinite plan?
Stewie: I think your whole religion is a sham just so you can get extra holidays off from work.
Rabbi Riggle: Uhp, gotta go! It's Bukhalagokhawookk!
[Rabbi Riggle puts on a stupid Jewish hat and dances away]

Bhikkhu Batuo: Buddhism is an Asian religion that also has a significant following of annnoying white people.
Stewie: Okay.

Peter: I don't know about this Toaster Man. While he's getting all the glory, John Q. Taxpayer is left to clean up the crumbs.
[Peter's bread magically gets toasted]
Peter: [gasp] My breakfast bread just got perfectly browned! I just wish I could thank him.
Stewie: Oh, I think he knows, pop. I think he knows.

[Stewie plays music for Brian at the Apple Tree Pub]
Stewie: Okay, welcome to the Apple Tree Pub. I'm Stewie Griffin and these [strums guitar] are my six assistants.
[Brian throws a gun on the stage]
Brian: You know, I changed my mind. Kill yourself.

[Peter sits at Thelma's grave]
Peter: Hey, mom. I gotta talk to you about something. You know, ever since you turned into a rock with your name on it, your friend's been really inappropriate with me.

Trivia

Continuity

  • The DVD commentary to "Quagmire and Meg" points out that Peter's monologue in the end of that episode was foreshadowing this episode.
  • This episode marks the death of Thelma Griffin.
  • This is the second time Brian stops Stewie from committing suicide. The first was "Killer Queen".
  • For a one-time gag, an Italian family known as The Esposito Family moved into The Brown House, following Cleveland vacating it to leave for The Cleveland Show.

Cultural References

  • The title is a play on the phrase "Mum's the word."
  • The scene where Peter beats up a bunch of annoying people while holding in his poop is a parody of a scene from Airplane! where a pilot beats up a mob of religious recruiters while calmly walking through the airport.
  • Peter makes a reference to Dick Clark when he argues that you can't die of a stroke, you just get to host New Year's Eve and talk funny.
  • Stewie's funny brother is a reference to the death of John Belushi, who was survived by his brother Jim.
  • Evelyn's skirt blowing up over the street grate is a reference to the Marylin Monroe film The Seven Year Itch.
  • Peter's "In Memoriam" clip of being Kathy Bates' butt double is a reference to Bates' scene in About Schmidt.
  • When Peter first meets Evelyn, he addresses her as "Cocoon", and says they do not have any rocks to make her stronger. This is a reference to the film Cocoon, in which alien cocoons that resembled rocks were to be placed in a pool charged with "life force", so that the encapsulated aliens would receive enough energy to survive the trip home. In the film, the rejuvenating pool was discovered by three retirement home residents.
  • Peter's "dramatic garage door reveals" is set to "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Alice Cooper.
  • "Devil Woman" by Cliff Richard plays while Peter is accosted on his day out with Evelyn.
  • Adam West watches Revolution, but Peter hasn't caught up with all of the episodes.
  • The books that Stewie reads include the Christian Bible, the Islamic Quran, the Jewish Torah, and Dianetics, which is a Scientologist text.

Deleted Scenes

  • Eric designing the first car with a rapist sign.
  • Peter doing dramatic garage door reveals.
  • A memorial dedicated to Peter's job as Kathy Bates' butt double.
  • Peter confuses everybody on Facebook with a vague Facebook post.
  • Stewie's Jim Belushi-esque brother dies.
  • Peter, Lois, and Chris look through Peter's old footprint book.
  • Peter addresses Evelyn as "Cocoon" and makes a dumb movie reference.
  • Greg Evegen and Paul Reiser are Peter's two dads.
  • Brian has a memory foam pillow.
  • Alternate take on the Buddhist scene where Brian explains the religion to Stewie instead of Bhikkhu Batuo.
  • Alternate take on the Catholic scene where Brian explains the religion to Stewie instead of Father Bob.
  • Peter remembers his Uncle Roy putting his thumb in him.
  • A retarded parody on E.T.
  • Quagmire tells Evelyn not to draw her eyebrows on.
  • Peter and Evelyn talk about combining sodas at the movie theater.
  • Peter describes Nilla wafer crumbs in the corners of Evelyn's mouth.
  • Peter thinks a cashier at a fast food restaurant is hitting on him.
  • Peter is addicted to nasal spray.
  • A pedophile on the internet luring another pedophile to his house.
  • Stewie and Brian talk about taking shaky leg poops on the ground.
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