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Married ... With Cancer

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Married ... With Cancer
Season 17, Episode 1
Air date October 14, 2018
Episode Guide
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Family Guy Through the Years 		Next
The Five Day Marriage

Married ... With Cancer is the first episode and season premiere of the seventeenth season of Family Guy. It is the four hundred and first episode, overall.

Synopsis[]

Brian continues to date Jess, but he soon learns she has a month to live, and plans to make her last days on earth matter, by marrying her.

Plot[]

Brian continues his relationship with his girlfriend-of-the-week Jess and has sex with her in bed. After they have sex, Jess reveals that she has terminal cancer. Brian is stunned and tries to be respectful, but Jess jokes about her own disease, proving to be at peace with her illness and not one to take offence from anything, or to let it get her down. This also doesn't stop them from going back to her place for sex where they have a great time and Brian agrees to help her with her bucket list.

Jess' sex bucket list includes the roof of a pizza hut, the bathroom of a pizza hut, a pizza hut delivery car, Domino's, a helicopter, in an elevator, stagecoach, in an arcade section of pizza hut, in the back of a moving pickup truck, a McDonald's Playplace, the toilet aisle of a hardware store, in a car parked at industrial park, Moe's Tavern, with Tom Brady, inside a car on a truck that hauls cars, on a boat, while doing her job as a school photographer, while bungee jumping, while holding an Emmy, aboard The Orville, at the Costco cart return area, inside an MRI machine, possibly while turned off, through the "100" hole of a skeeball machine, via threesome with a tree, like in Avatar, in the Quahog Opera House (box) [sic], in the gas station bathroom, with an Asian man watching from the corner as he smokes cigarettes and strokes his gun, and on a roller coaster. There was also something about chocolate on there, but it never appeared on the list for some reason. Brian and Jess got around to doing it on the roof of a pizza hut, in an elevator, with the Asian guy watching, while she was doing her job as a school photographer, and that chocolate thing. It is unknown what else they were able to do.

As they became closer, Brian introduces her to the family over dinner and their humor irritates him until they leave. After going to Pizza Palace, her prognoses takes a turn for the worse and Brian asks Jess to marry him and she agrees. Quagmire puts aside their feud to throw him a bachelor party and Brian finds that as a guy seen as attractive for helping a terminally ill woman that his stock has gone up with women. Just as they complete their marriage vows, Jess' doctor arrives and reveals that her cancer is cured.

Characters[]

Major Roles[]

Minor Roles[]

Quotes[]

[Brian and Jess finish having sex]
Brian: Sorry I barked when you took your pants off. I thought it was a squirrel.
Lois: Chris, pass me a turkey leg, would you? I prefer the limbs.
Chris: I got a limb fo' ma.
Peter: I love every Tom Hanks movie, except for Terminal. You know, there's nothing worse, than when you're flipping channels and you're like. Oh, God it's Terminal! Don't say it's terminal! God, what have I done to deserve this? Why does it have to be Terminal?
Chris: Sir, I will tell you a great Tom Hanks movie. Catch Me If You Can, sir.
Peter: The business died and I lost $200,000, Brian. Wanna know why? "555" means it is not an actual phone number.
Quagmire: Hey, pal. Listen, I...I know we've had our differences, but...you're a good guy.
Brian: Thank you, Quagmire.
Quagmire: Listen, I wanna throw you the wildest bachelor party of all time. It's gonna be crazier than whatever Kanye West is doing at this particular moment.
[Cutaway to Kanye West rubbing his hands all over a tray of lasagna]
Kanye West: I'm giving this lasagna a massage, while preparing to announce I'm joining ISIS! Thank you for your interest!
Brian: I haven't gotten this kind of attention, since I went to see The Peanuts Movie.
[Cutaway to Brian leaving the movie theater and people start to notice him]
Guy #1: Look!
Guy #2: There he is!
Guy #3: That's him! That's the guy who peed in his empty soda cup!
Helen: You have a blessed day.
Brian: [laughs] Oh, no.
[Bruce is a judge, marrying Brian and Jess]
Bruce: [sighs] Yet another wedding I'm on this side of, Jeffrey.
[Jeffrey sits awkwardly in the audience]
Bruce: We's just waiting for his mama to die.
Jess: I vow to honor you, and cherish you until the day I die ... a week from Wednesday.
Bruce: By the power bottom vested in me...

Trivia[]

  • This episode continues the arc of Brian and Jess dating, with them getting married in this episode.
  • Brian's mentioning that he thought he smelled cancer is in reference to an established fact that dogs can indeed smell cancer.
  • Jess' bucket lists consists of:
    • Roof of a Pizza Hut
    • Bathroom of a Pizza Hut
    • In Pizza Hut delivery car
    • Domino's
    • Helicopter
    • In an elevator
    • Stagecoach
    • In arcade section of Pizza Hut
    • Back of moving pickup truck
    • McDonald's PlayPlace
    • Hardware store - toilet aisle
    • In a car parked at industrial park
    • At Moe's Tavern
    • With Tom Brady
    • Inside a car on a truck that hauls cars
    • On a boat
    • While doing my job as a school photographer
    • Bungee Jumping
    • On the grave of an enemy
    • On the grave of my partner's enemy
    • While holding an Emmy
    • Aboard The Orville
    • Costco cart return area
    • Inside MRI machine (turned off?)
    • Through the "100" hole in skeeball machine
    • Threesome with a tree like in Avatar
    • Quahog Opera House (box)
    • Gas station bathroom
    • With an Asian man watching from the corner as he smokes cigarettes and strokes a gun
    • Roller coaster
  • Whenever a situation is too serious for Dr. Hartman to give the news, the job of giving the news is given to Dr. Gravitas. "Gravitas" means for something to be done in a serious and formal manner.

Cultural References[]

  • The title is a pun on the TV show, "Married ... With Children".
  • Peter mention baseball Hall-of-Fame member George Brett when pitching his 'Suit-Chute,' in reference to the player's stories of having oddly timed bowl movements.
  • When Jess says "Forever and ever and ever," she references a line said by the Grady twins in The Shining.
  • "Safari Song" by Greta Van Fleet plays during the bucket list montage.

Continuity[]

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