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Love Your Trophy

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Love Your Trophy
Season 1, Episode 7
Air date March 14, 1999
Episode Guide
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Love Your Trophy (A.K.A. "Love Thy Trophy") is the seventh episode of the first season of Family Guy. It is the seventh episode, overall.

Synopsis[]

The residents of Spooner Street win a float contest, but trouble arises from whom has possession of the trophy and when it later goes missing. Meanwhile, in order to afford an expensive purse, Meg gets a job as a waitress and pretends Stewie is her son for sympathy tips.

Plot[]

For Quahog's yearly harvest festival parade with floats the theme is decided by Peter, who chooses "That Episode of Who's the Boss? in Which Tony Sees Angela Naked". The float built by Spooner Street wins, but the men can't agree at whose house the golden clam trophy should reside. They eventually decide on having it be placed over the road, held up by the statues from the float. The next day, the trophy is found to be missing, and everyone immediately suspects each other of stealing it, causing everyone to take precautionary measures including rigging their homes with traps and acquiring weapons.

Meanwhile, after being insulted by girls at school for her inferior purse and not being able to get Peter to pay for it, Meg gets a job at Flappy Jack's House of Pancakes buy a Prada bag. She lets restaurateur Flappy and diners believe that Stewie is her crack-addicted baby and she is a single mother, so that she can both get the job and that people will give her bigger tips, which leads to one of the customers asking for her address feeling sorry for Stewie.

When asked about the Griffins by a woman from Child Protective Services, Joe, Cleveland and Quagmire unaware of who she is tell her that the Griffins are nasty people and can't be trusted. This eventually leads her to place Stewie in a foster home. Upon finding this out, Peter and Lois, are angry at their friends for what they said to Child Protective Services after the two failed to straighten the matter out with them at their office. Once Brian points out that all of them are at fault for the entire conflict over the trophy, the Griffins along with Quagmire, Cleveland, Loretta, Joe, and Bonnie put their argument aside to bail Stewie out. When an espionage mission fails, they instead trade Meg's newly-acquired Prada bag for Stewie, but when they still don't know what happened to the trophy, Brian insinuates that all mysteries should be left unsolved. Later on that evening, Lois has a talk with Meg, angry that she put her own selfish desires over her little brother. After she apologizes, Lois tells her she needs to clear things up and grounds her for a month. After she tells Jack the truth, she's rightfully fired from her job.

Characters[]

Major Roles[]

Minor Roles[]

Quotes[]

Stewie: Michael Flatley must be turning over in his grave... Wait a minute, he's not dead...yet. [writes his notebook] Michael Flatley.
[after Peter's "Who's The Boss?" theme is picked for the Harvest Festival Parade]
Lois: Peter, it's great they picked your theme, but isn't it a little esoteric?
Peter: Esoteric? [camera zooms to a conference room with six men inside Peter's brain]
Man 1: Could it mean "sexy?"
Man 2: I think it's a science term.
Man 3: Fellas, fellas, esoteric means "delicious."
Peter: Lois, Who's the Boss? is not a food.
Brian: Swing and a miss.
Meg: I have no friends and it's all because of this stupid purse.
Peter: [grabs Meg's bag and shakes it] What did you do to my daughter?! I swear to God, if you touched her...
Lois: Peter! [to Meg] Honey, what happened?
Meg: Daddy, if you really loved me, you'd buy me a Prada bag.
Peter: Awe, I can't say no to you, honey. [pulls out a $10] What are they, like, $10?
Meg: More like uh,... eleven hundred dollars.
[Peter snatches away the $10 from Meg]
Peter: [laughes] You wish I loved you that much!
[Meg sighed in disappointment]
Peter: We'll never finish the float in time for the parade. Pick up the pace, guys!
Joe: Peter, your theme is a dud.
Cleveland: Yeah. I've never even seen Who's the Boss?
Quagmire: Tuesdays in the '80s I was always in bed by 8:00 and home by 11:00. Oh!
Peter: And Joe, I've had new neighbors before, but none of them were half the man you are. Since you're half a man already, that splits them into some kind of fraction I can't even measure.
Kevin: [helping cut wood while working on the float] My dad always said, "Measure twice, cut once."
Chris: My dad never said anything like that when givin' me advice.
Cleveland Jr.: My daddy always says, "Cleveland Jr., quit jumpin' on da bed!" [laughs; starts cutting the wood]
Kevin: We didn't measure! WE DIDN'T MEASURE!
Brian: It's amazing, Peter. You've inspired the whole neighborhood to work together.
Peter: Yeah, our neighborhood hasn't been this united since Quagmire figured out how to get us free cable.
[cutaway to Peter, Quagmire, and Cleveland beating up the cable guy]
Cleveland: Look, we're not bad people. We just don't want to pay $12 a month for Cinemax.
Peter: My theme, my trophy!
Quagmire: My aunt Fanny!
[after the trophy is discovered missing by Peter]
Peter: Aaaggghhh!
Lois: [rushes outside] Peter, what is it?
Cleveland: [rushes outside also] What's going on out here?
Joe: [rushes outside with his gun] Clear the way! I'm a cop! [fires his gun] Oh, my God! I thought the safety was on. I'm so sorry.
Charlton Heston: [shot] That's okay, son. It's your right as an American citizen.
Cleveland: Perhaps someone could enlighten me as to the whereabouts of our Golden Clam?
Quagmire: Maybe it fell.
Peter: Yeah. Right into someone's pocket.
Bonnie: You think one of us stole it?
Peter: I never said the word "stole." Looks like someone has a guilty conscience.
Joe: Guilty conscience! Ha! I'm the only guy on this block who actually pays for his cable.
Bonnie: Oooh.
Cleveland: Pretty high and mighty for a man who left our nation's flag out in the rain last Fourth of July. That's against the law, Officer!
Everyone: Oooh.
Quagmire: You're one to talk. Out there every trash day picking through my garbage. That's an invasion of my privacy.
Everyone: Oooh.
Loretta: He's sorting your recycling because he loves our Mother Earth. If you weren't so busy scooting for booty all the damned time, you could do it yourself, like the law says you should.
Everyone: Oooh.
Joe: Wait a second! What about Peter? He's the one who wanted the trophy all along!
Peter: I couldn't have stolen the trophy. Last night I was stealing Joe's ladder so I could steal the trophy tonight.
Lois: Peter!
Peter: What? It's a ladder, he's not gonna use it. That's like taking a watch off a dead guy.
Bonnie: Those Griffins always were oddballs, Joe. Real oddballs. I don't trust them.
Rod Serling: I offer you a recipe. Combine one part small-town neighborhood with a dash of missing trophy and what you're left with is a gumbo fit only for a madman. A gumbo served almost exclusively in The Twilight...
Peter: Hey, who the hell is that? I bet he took the trophy! Get him!
[As Meg walks out to work]
Meg: Well, I'm off to work.
Lois: Whatever, Meg. We don't care about what you're doing.
[Upon seeing their house was robbed]
Cleveland Jr.: Daddy, should I call the cops?
Cleveland: Cleveland Jr., I'm guessing a cop had something to do with this...
[Cuts to Joe and his family, in the same situation]
Joe: Or a pilot.
[Cuts to Quagmire, in the same situation]
Quagmire: Or a toy factory worker.
[Cuts to Peter, Lois and Chris, in the same situation]
Peter: Or a deli owner.
[Peter, Quagmire, Cleveland and Joe face outside]
Peter/Quagmire/Cleveland/Joe: Okay, you dirtbags! This means war!
Lois: Excuse us. We're having a small problem with home security.
Peter: Do you guys have those round metal things that you bury in the ground, and when you step on them, they explode?
Sales Clerk: Land mines?
Lois/Peter: Land mines!
Peter: It was land mines.
[when everyone runs into each other at the hardware store]
Peter: Quagmire.
Quagmire: Peter.
Joe: Cleveland.
Cleveland: Joe.
Lois: Bonnie.
Bonnie: Lois.
Quagmire: Cleveland.
Joe: Lois.
Cleveland: Bonnie.
Lois: Quagmire.
Bonnie: Peter.
Loretta: [clears throat]
Everyone minus Loretta: [sighes] Loretta.
Stewie: What's that? Oh yeah. I love crack, I'm absolutely coo-coo for crack.
[Everyone was setting up their traps against each other. Peter was sitting at the top of the house keeping as Lois came up a ladder to bring him a glass of iced tea]
Lois: What are they up to?
Peter: Well, Cleveland and Quagmire are holding their positions, but I haven't seen Joe all day.
[Cuts to Kevin coming home from school, whistling a tune]
Joe: Freeze!
Kevin: Dad?
[Kevin looked around to see where his father was as it showed Joe rolling out of the background. His body was painted in the look of the front of the house]
Joe: Careful, Kevin. There's a bear trap two feet to your right.
Kevin: Thanks, Dad.
Joe: Look out for your mother!
[Kevin then ran into something invisible, which was Bonnie also blended into the environment]
Bonnie: There's a sandwich on the counter, honey.
Kevin: [freaked out] Uh... okay, thanks ... Mom.
[Kevin began to walk inside]
Bonnie: I think we forgot to tell him something.
[A error sound is heard as electricity and Kevin screaming in agony is heard]
Joe: Oh God, the security system. [Joe rolls out] Kevin, I'm coming!!
Sandy Balfour: Hello?
Quagmire: [wakes up, stern] Hey, get the hell off my la... Well hello, lips, legs, breasts and ass.
Stewie: No! No, I won't! Get that puree of loathsomeness away from me!
Lois: But you love mashed turkey and peas.
Stewie: I'm sorry. What was that? I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. Did you just tell me what I love? Hmm? Write this down, you toad-faced frump. I love pancakes!
Sandy: Let me guess...all out of puppy chow? What an awful home for a child.
Lois: How dare you! This is a wonderful home. [a shotgun blast is heard offscreen]
Peter: Quagmire, ya rat bastard, come near my fence again, and it'll be your head!
Quagmire: Hey, shut up!
Peter: Wait a minute! Meg, when did you become a teenager?
Lois: She's 16, Peter.
Peter: You knew about this?
Stewie: Good God, I've been adopted by a Benetton ad!
Mrs. Stevens: I promise it will never happen again.
Child Services Worker: I hope not Mrs. Stevens, because next time we won't just take him away, we'll kill him.
[while at the Child Services agency]
Chris: So this is where babies come from?
Brian: Yes, Chris. This is where babies come from.
Chris: [to Lois] You told me I came out of your vagina!
Stewie: [to his foster parents who won't give him pancakes] Damn it! I want pancakes! God, you people understand every language except English! Yo quiero pancakes! Donnez-moi pancakes! Click-click-bloody-click pancakes!
Stewie: [to the other foster kids] I've got a better idea, let's go play "Swallow the Stuff Under the Sink".
Lois: You lied to them!
Peter: Y...you told Child Services that we steal lawn mowers, cheat on our taxes and worship some guy named Stan.
Bonnie: Um, actually, I said Satan. That's a typo.
Indian Baby: Stewie, would you like to learn how to wrap a turban?
Stewie: Why don't you teach it to the Chinese girl? Or perhaps she can learn after her people invade your country.
Indian Baby: Li, would your people really do this?
Stewie: Oh, try and stop them. And try and stop Pablo's people from using drug money to buy arms from Li's countrymen, who will in turn sell them to Ura's people so they can ethnically cleanse the rest of this nauseatingly diverse grab bag of genetic party favors you call a family. So now you all understand, yes? You all hate each other?
Stewie: [when Peter falls through the chimney to get Stewie from his foster family] Oh, Hosanna! It's the lesser of two evils!
Peter: [after he falls through the chimney] Oh, hey, kids. I'm Santa Claus. Just practicing for Christmas.
Indian Baby: But you're white. Jack and Sarah told me Santa is Indian.
African Baby: Don't be stupid! Santa is black!
Indian Baby: Santa can't be black. We do not fear him.
Li: Cram it, Gandhi! Santa is Asian.
Pablo: How can he be Asian? Santa doesn't drive his sled 20 miles under the speed limit with his blinker on! Go back to your rice paddy, Mulan!
[The foster parents are aiming a gun at Peter as he holds Stewie in front of himself]
Stewie: No! Don't shoot! [He wiggles out of his overalls and runs off as Peter is left holding his clothes] Now shoot!
Peter: Oh, you people can kiss the fattest part of my ass.
Peter: I'd like to propose a toast to our neighbors. Sure they might be black, handicapped, and a heartless sex-hound, but hey, if they moved out some smelly Hawaiians might move in.
Sandy Balfour: [lying in bed] Mmm, Glenn, honey, I have a question for you. What do you do for a living?
Quagmire: Hey, I have a question for you too. Why are you still here?
[Meg was sitting on her bed, waiting anxiously as her mother told her to go to her room earlier. She looks up as the door opened and Lois walked in; her hands on her hips and a stern look etched on to her face]
Meg: (quietly) Hey.
Lois: Meg, what did you honestly think you were trying to achieve? Do you have any idea how much stress you put me and your dad through?
Meg: I just wanted a new Prada bag...
Lois: A-A-And so what? You decided to go behind our backs and use your own baby brother to get it? After we explicitly told you it was too expensive?!
Meg: I-I just thought I'd be able to impress people by showing off a fancy new one.
Lois: Well, I'm very disappointed in you, young lady, I thought we taught you better values than that! I trusted you to look after Stewie. I thought it was nice that you two were spending so much time together, but now I find that my own daughter went behind me and your dad's backs, and that she used her own brother while lying and exploiting the goodwill and kindness of others. And because of that, Stewie got taken away by Child Services. Did you even think of how terrified me and your dad were, or the hell we had to go through to get Stewie back? Did you even care about Stewie's safety and what he was thinking? No! You didn't, you put your own selfish needs before your own family!
Meg: Mom, I'm really sorry.
Lois: And so you should be! Thankfully, Joe has a few friends who work at the local Child Services department, and is going to speak to them in order to clear things up, and you're going with him to help.
Meg: I'll do it.
Lois: Good, I'm not the only one you need to apologize to. I want you to apologize to Stewie for using him, and to everyone at that pancake place for taking advantage of them.
Meg: Yes, Mom.
Lois: Also, you're grounded for a month with no TV, internet or music, and no pocket money.
Lois: Stewie seems a little feverish after his ordeal, and he keeps asking for pancakes. Let's just let him rest. [she and Peter leave]
Stewie: [groans] Flappy, what have you done to me? Oh, it's so hot... Now I'm freezing! Oh, what I wouldn't do for one syrup soaked bite? [his eyes widen. He sees a second Stewie crawling on the ceiling, then stops. He turns his head around à la "The Exorcist" and looks at Stewie] Aagghh!

Trivia[]

  • In the scene when Peter finds out that Stewie has been taken away, the picture of Stewie has an inverted shirt.
  • This episode reveals Quagmire's first name, Glenn.
  • The sign outside of the child services building reads Taking Your Children Away For Over 50 Years.
  • Joe shoots Charlton Heston accidentally when the safety on his firearm is off.
  • Stewie asks his foster parents for pancakes in Spanish, French and a parody of an African language.
  • Brian hits Rod Serling on the back of a head with a shovel.
  • According to Family Guy: The Freakin' Sweet Collection in a featurette about the show's politically incorrect humor, Seth MacFarlane cites this episode as the one that solidified Glenn Quagmire's character as Seth MacFarlane put it, "heartless sex hound."
  • Lois points out that Peter's idea is esoteric; he believes it means delicious. Esoteric actually means something which is recognized by a select few, i.e., a rather specific cultural reference.
  • As of now, this is the only time Meg ever laughs like Peter.
  • When Joe, Bonnie and Kevin snoops into the Brown's houses, Kevin decides to vandalize their portraits by drawing mustaches on them. As Cleveland is the only Spooner Street resident with facial hair, Joe instead decides to erase his mustache. This marks the only appearance so far of a clean-shaven Cleveland.
  • A shirt based on the scene with Stewie's "RED RUM" blocks has been produced.
  • Bonnie admits she becomes sexually aroused while watching her husband working undercover. Joe himself also has a similar fetish as he enjoys watching his wife from afar while pretending she is a woman he has never met in "Barely Legal".

Cultural References[]

  • The title is a reference to the Bible saying "Love Thy Neighbor."
  • Actor Charlton Heston chooses the winning parade theme by shooting pigeons who have suggestions for parade themes tied to their legs. This is a reference to the fact that Heston is president of the National Rifle Association and a strong supporter of gun ownership. His line "Let my pigeons go!" is a parody of his line "Let my people go," from the film The Ten Commandments.
  • Peter's parade theme is "The Episode of Who's the Boss? where Tony sees Angela naked in the shower." Who’s the Boss? was an ABC sitcom, lasting from 1984 until 1992, starring Tony Danza and Judith Light. The episode in question was the second episode of the sitcom, titled "Briefless Encounter."
  • Stewie's letter blocks spell "REDRUM," or "MURDER" backwards, a reference to the 1980 horror film The Shining.
  • After watching Peter dance, Stewie exclaims "Michael Flatley must be turning over in his grave" before noting that Flatley is still alive and marking him down in a murder list. Flatley is the creator and star of the Irish step dancing production Lord of the Dance.
  • Brian reads a magazine called BONE that features a lay-out similar to that of TIME.
  • In a cutaway, Quagmire tries to guess a woman's astrological. After two incorrect guesses, he says "Well, I know you're not a Virgo" causing the woman to punch him. Virgo is generally associated with purity and virginity. On the floor, Quagmire says "From down here, you look like a Pisces," a reference to the vagina's supposed resemblance to a Vesica Piscis.[1]
  • Rod Serling, former host of The Twilight Zone, appears in the episode to give a typical exposition seen on the show. The neighborhood strife is similar to the episode "The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street".
  • Under Meg's encouragement, Stewie says he is "cuckoo for crack," a reference to the slogan "Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs."
  • When Stewie says "My God, I've been adopted by a Benetton ad!", this refers to Benetton clothing adverts that had people of many cultures in them.
  • After Stewie encourages infighting between his foster siblings, the Indian boy is derogatively called "Gandhi," referring to Indian independence leader Mahatma Gandhi, and the Chinese girl "Mulan," referring to the Chinese folk character Hua Mulan. Also, after Stewie encourages infighting between his foster siblings, when the Chinese girl remarks that Santa Claus must be Asian, to which one of the babies retorts "How can he be Asian? Santa doesn't drive his sled 20 miles under the speed limit with his blinker on". This is a reference to the stereotype that Asians are bad drivers.[2]
  • The end credits, in which Stewie is haunted by a vision of himself crawling on the ceiling while coming down from his pancake addiction, is a parody of a scene in the 1996 film Trainspotting.

Deleted Scene[]

  • An alternate ending about what happened to trophy. With it being revealed that Brian buried it in the Griffins' yard due to Brian's urge to bury shiny things.
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