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Jess Griffin
Jess Now
Jess Schlotz
Full name

Jess Schlotz-Griffin

Age

40's

Job(s)

School Photographer

Relatives

Helen Schlotz (mother)
Mr. Boardwart (father)
Brian Griffin (ex husband)

Voiced by

Casey Wilson

Episodes

Married ... With Cancer

Jess Griffin (née Schlotz) is the wife of Brian Griffin. She first appeared in "A Lifetime Staying Hip". She is voiced by Casey Wilson.

Biography

In "A Lifetime Staying Hip", Brian strikes out with tons of millennial women at a young person's bar one night, and as Stewie told him earlier, he is not hip, so he just can't get in with young people these days. Due to something about dog years, Brian was essentially a Generation X guy, trapped in a millennial's body. Brian finally comes across Jess, a millennial, who is knowledgeable in the culture of both generations. During their conversation, Brian says "Life is short." and Jess responds with a disengaged, "Pfft. Don't I know it." This comment was thought little of, by the audience, but really, it was foreshadowing that she had cancer.

In "Photo Finish", Jess' job as a photographer is explored.

In "Father Knows Most", Brian and Jess wind up becoming sort of mother and father figures to Stewie, since he's always around.

In "The Dogs and The Humans", Stewie starts to question why Brian keeps dating human beings. At this point, Brian and Jess decide it's time to give him "The Talk".

In "Girl, Internetted", Jess has a minor role.

In "Throw It Away", Jess has a minor role.

In "Absolutely Babulous", Jess has a minor role.

In "Bri-Da", Jess learns about Brian's past with Ida Davis and has a good laugh about it.

In "Yacht Rocky", Jess has a minor role.

In the two-part special, "Trump Guy" and "Con Heiress", she puts up with Brian, complaining about Donald Trump being the president. Apparently she has different political views than he does.

In "Family Guy Winter Games", she supported Brian in the Winter Olympics.

In "Growing the Beer", she partook in Peter's beer garden.

In "Bri, Robot", she helped Brian become a robot.

In "Jess and Jill", Jess was surprised to hear about Brian's past with Jillian Russel-Wilcox and feared that he might still have feelings for her. At the end of the episode, she has sex with Quagmire.

In "Aussie Sauce", she has a minor role.

In "Scout Art", she has a minor role.

In "Married ... With Cancer", Jess reveals that she has terminal cancer. Brian is stunned and tries to be respectful, but Jess jokes about her own disease, proving to be at peace with her illness and not one to take offence from anything, or to let it get her down. This also doesn't stop them from going back to her place for sex where they have a great time and Brian agrees to help her with her bucket list.

Jess' sex bucket list includes the roof of a pizza hut, the bathroom of a pizza hut, a pizza hut delivery car, Domino's, a helicopter, in an elevator, stagecoach, in an arcade section of pizza hut, in the back of a moving pickup truck, a McDonald's Playplace, the toilet aisle of a hardware store, in a car parked at industrial park, Moe's Tavern, with Tom Brady, inside a car on a truck that hauls cars, on a boat, while doing her job as a school photographer, while bungee jumping, while holding an Emmy, aboard The Orville, at the Costco cart return area, inside an MRI machine, possibly while turned off, through the "100" hole of a skeeball machine, via threesome with a tree, like in Avatar, in the Quahog Opera House (box) [sic], in the gas station bathroom, with an Asian man watching from the corner as he smokes cigarettes and strokes his gun, and on a roller coaster. There was also something about chocolate on there, but it never appeared on the list for some reason. Brian and Jess got around to doing it on the roof of a pizza hut, in an elevator, with the Asian guy watching, while she was doing her job as a school photographer, and that chocolate thing. It is unknown what else they were able to do.

As they become even closer, Brian introduces her to the family over dinner and their humor irritates him until they leave. After going to Pizza Palace, her prognoses takes a turn for the worse and Brian asks her to marry him and she agrees. Just as they complete their marriage vows, Jess' doctor arrives and reveals that her cancer is cured.

In "Married ... Without Cancer", Jess celebrates beating her cancer, by eating lots of food and gaining weight now that she can finally keep it down. She also develops severe flatulence from her digestive system working again.

With his dreams of a short-lived commitment spiraling down the drain, Brian and Jess move back into his old apartment with her mother Helen and her cats. Jess continues to gorge herself to make up for all the food she couldn't eat before until she ends up choking on nachos at Taco Zone and collapsing. But just as Brian thinks he's finally free of her, she recovers.

In "Falling Apartment", Brian makes several murder attempts on Jess. All of which fail.

Appearance

Jess Before

Jess before marriage.

Jess used to be a thin, pretty woman, with a nice body and an overall, gorgeous exterior appearance. She had long, shiny, flowing sandy blonde hair, that was kind of lumpy in the front. She had smooth, silky Caucasian skin, that plastered her curvy body, firm breasts, dainty arms, and her fine nice looking pair of some fine legs. She had lush pink lips, and big white eyes, and solid black pupils, and a few eyelashes coming off of the sides She generally wore a vibrant, attention grabbing blue dress, black high heels, and a golden necklace.

After marrying Brian, Jess fattened herself up with lots of food, turning herself into a plump, overweight, tub of sickening, horrendous lard. Her once smooth and silky skin was now greasy and covered in clogged, unopened pores. Her voice managed to get deeper, and more gravelly and annoying. She now wore a big purple sweater and XXXL sweatpants of only a slightly less purple shade, now that her sexy younger clothes were no longer fitting for her and her new frame. On the butt of her sweatpants, read the word "Juicy" is bubbly pink letters. She also wore light tan fuzzy boots. It was also revealed, at this point, that her gorgeous blonde hair, was actually a wig, and she was bald underneath, albeit with a few tiny, patchy locks of her former blonde hair sticking out, every which way. As Brian described, it made her look like a creepy, torn apart old baby doll. Her blonde hair was very scrawny and pale colored, with a bunch of split ends and dying pigmentation. Luckily, she wears her wig most of the time.

Episode Appearances

Trivia

  • She was Brian's second long-term relationship (episode wise), following Jillian Russel-Wilcox.
  • She is the second beautiful underage girl, who Brian dated, before she eventually became very fat. The first was Tracy Flannigan.
  • Since Brian is always trying to kill her, Jess is the third character to be the victim of several failed murder attempts, done by a member of the family. The first two are Lois Griffin and Joe Swanson, who are the targets of Stewie Griffin and Bonnie Swanson, respectively.
    • Jess is the only one, to ultimately be killed by her assassin, not counting any technicalities between Stewie and Lois.
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