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Carter's Dumb Dance
Jack LaLanne Workout is a song sung by Carter Pewterschmidt in the episode "Take My Wife". It's an old-timey workout song by Jack LaLanne. Carter sang it to Chris, Meg, Stewie, and even Brian to make them enjoy the music he listened to back in the olden days, before they had all that fancy schmancy technology.

Lyrics

Carter: Bend to the left.
Bend to the right.
Get the big spring.
Stretch the big spring.
Stop to smoke.
Get a big towel.
Put it behind your neck.
Tuck it in your shirt.
Looks like boobs.
Put on a wig.
Dance with a man.
Don't tell your wife.
Take it to your grave.
Die in your grave.
Stub your toe.
Shout a racial slur.
Carter (Speaking): OW! SLANT-TOOTHED HAT JOCKEY!
Stewie (Speaking): That wasn't a real racial slur, so if you attributed that to a certain race, then you're the racist.

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