Peter and Quagmire become a singing/songwriting team.
Quagmire asks to stay at the Griffin home after he makes eye contact with a transvestite. While hanging out with Peter, a bee accidentally makes them discover that they can share a tone in harmony. After sitting down to write some songs, they go to Mort's pharmacy to get some paper and after Mort tells about his past career in music, becomes their manager and invites them to sing at the library during open mic. During their performance, they clear the library and despair that they are not a success until Mort reveals that he put their show on Jewtube and they get an invitation to perform at a music festival.
Their performance is a hit and they get an offer for a new manager, dumping Mort and going on tour over Lois' objections. Their life on the road begins to affect Peter, causng him to arbitrarily make decisions for the two of them and causes life to become stressful for Quagmire. During a performance on Conan, Quagmire finally has enough and walks out. Peter is forced to return to the family and beg forgiveness by singing. Quagmire shows up and asks for forgiveness as well. Peter then goes on the bus and shoots himself.
- Lois Griffin
- Chris Griffin
- Meg Griffin
- Stewie Griffin
- Vinny Griffin
- Larry (Cameo)
- Kermit the Frog (Cameo)
- Miss Piggy (Cameo)
- Kermie, Jr. (Cameo)
- Conan O'Brien (Cameo)
- Bobby (Non-Speaking Cameo)
- Angela (Cameo; Deleted Scene)
- Agoose Banwatti (Cameo; Deleted Scene)
- Winklevoss Twins (Non-Speaking Cameo; Deleted Scene)
- Vinny: So, Quagmire. If you're some kind of big ladies man, how come I never seen you wear a necklace?
- Quagmire: I, uh ... that's not really my thing.
- Vinny: I'll get you one.
- Quagmire: Please don't.
- Stewie: [mocking an Italian] Ay, come on. The guy wants to get you a necklace. Let him get you a necklace.
- Peter: We're gunna be the best thing since sliced bread.
- [Cutaway gag to a guy at a restaurant]
- Guy: I'd like a sandwich but I don't feel like eating two whole loaves of bread.
- Waitress: Tough shit.
- [Mort looks at himself in the mirror and he's gorgeous]
- Mort: What has happened to you, Mort Goldman? You've hit rock bottom.
- Quagmire: Alright! Put 'er there!
- Mort: No! I've seen your prescriptions! Let's just say we did it.
- Peter: Well, I'm off to work. Bye guys. Love you.
- Lois: Bye! Love you!
- Chris: Love you too!
- Stewie: Bye, pop!
- [Peter leaves the house]
- Stewie: [offscreen] [laughs]
- Chris: [offscreen] He bought it!
- Vinny: [offscreen] What an idiot!
- Lois: [offscreen] I hate him so much I'm shaking!
- Peter: Oh my God. We are so random!
- Peter: Now, let this be a lesson to you kids. If you randomly stumble upon an amazing talent and then somebody important sees it by wild coincidence, great things can happen without any hard work.
- Chris: I'm gunna go jump off the roof and see if I can fly!
- Vinny: A singer, huh? You as good as the guys who sing Happy Birthday at Macaroni Grill?
- Peter: Oh, don't compare m-Look, they've been doing that for years.
- Chris: [jumps off the roof and flies] It's working!
- Ricky: My name's Ricky. I'm with Sony records. Our company's gunna be around for at least three more weeks and we wanna sign you.
- Peter: I'll need to discuss this with my associate.
- Quagmire: I don't know. It-It seems wrong to just dump Mort. He's our friend. Doesn't that matter?
- Peter: Quagmire. Remember I told you about that dream I drew?
- Quagmire: Yeah?
- [Peter shows a picture he drew of a giraffe and a guy who coincidentally looks exactly like Ricky]
- Peter: We're halfway there. I think if we do this, we'll get the giraffe.
- [Chris comes down with Peter's luggage]
- Chris: Here you go, dad. I emptied this out, so it'd be easier to carry.
- Lois: I'm sorry but you're gunna have to choose between music and family.
- Peter: If I choose family, does it have to be this family?
- [Lois tries to carve a turkey by vacuuming it]
- Lois: I DON'T UNDERSTAND!
- [Peter appears to be doing heroin but it's revealed it's just a doctor injecting him with a flu shot]
- Doctor: Okay, Mr. Griffin. Now you've got your flu shot.
- Quagmire: Will you stop giving him flu shots, man!? We've got a recording to do!
- Peter: Uh, Quagmire. It's cool. It's cool. This is the doctor that killed Michael Jackson.
- [Bobby plays the recording of Peter farting in the recording booth]
- Peter: [singing] This waitress is prettier than my wife.
- [Peter farts a whole lot really loudly]
- Peter: Awww, thank good.
- Quagmire: I can be giggity. I can be goo. I can be giggity. I can be goo.
- Chris: So, did you get a lot of trim on the road, dad?
- Peter: [nodding] Chris, that's inappropriate.
- Quagmire: What was Simon without Garfunkle?
- Peter: Wildly successful?
- Alyssa Milano
- Melted Cheese
- Broken Rubber
- Credit Card Debt
- Home Bowl
- Have You Ever Put Butter on a Pop Tart?
- Everyone From Florida is Stupid
- Why the Hell Do You Brush Your Teeth at Work?
- Asian Bitch
- Train on the Water, Boat on a Track
- This Waitress is Prettier Than My Wife
- Parents Are Gross
- This episode has the most songs of any episode to date.
- It's revealed that in the 1970's, Mort owned a record business called Mort Town until he got addicted to olives. In 1975, Mort hit rock bottom when he became very healthy and handsome.
- Peter credits the doctor who gave him a flu shot as "the doctor who killed Michael Jackson". In real life, said doctor (Conrad Murray) is an African-American man, who has been inaccurately represented by a generic white doctor.
- The title is based on the quote "in harm's way."
- Mort's record label, Mort Town Records, is a parody of the label Motown Records.
- The DVD commentary notes that the "The All Five-Foot-One Black Albino Choir" is intended as a reference to groups such as the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and the Harlem Boys Choir.
- Cutaway gag to Quagmire accidentally making eye contact with a transvestite.
- Peter saying that Quagmire doesn't need to take his shoes off because his house sucks.
- Cutaway gag to Peter having cow udders.
- Peter describes how much he suffers from credit card debt.
- Peter gets a drink from a water fountain where the water does not crest above the dispenser.
- Cutaway gag to Peter hiking with the girls.
- Cutaway gag to Peter in court with a girl who got raped.
- Cutaway gag to Peter beating up Angela.
- Cutaway gag to Angoose Banwatti kickboxing.
- Peter and Quagmire performing a song called "Why the Hell Do You Brush Your Teeth at Work?".
- Quagmire meditating and Peter getting The Winklevoss Twins before their performance on Conan.
- Stewie telling Meg to zip up her fly.