Family Guy Fanon Wiki
Family Guy Fanon Wiki
Family Guy Fanon Wiki
4,228
pages
in: Episodes, Season 1, Peter Episodes,
and 7 more

Holy Crap

Sign in to edit
Holy Crap
Season 1, Episode 13
Air date April 25, 1999
Episode Guide
Previous
Wasted Talent 		Next
Meg for Mercy

Holy Crap is the thirteenth episode of the first season of Family Guy. It is the thirteenth episode, overall.

Synopsis[]

When Peter's religious father retires, Peter invites him to live with his family. In an attempt to bond with his dad, Peter gets him a job as a foreman at the toy factory. But when his dad begins to drive everyone crazy with his religious homilies, Peter must make a divine intervention to keep his sanity.

Plot[]

Peter Griffin's devoutly Catholic father Francis is forced to retire from his job at the Pawtucket Mill, and moves in with him, though this brings trouble since he attacks Peter's wife Lois for being Protestant. Francis yells at his elder grandson, Chris, because he believes that he is masturbating in the bathroom when he is merely defecating. He makes his granddaughter, Meg, feel guilty for holding hands with a neighbor boy, and tells his younger grandson, Stewie, bedtime stories of the punishments that await sinners in Hell. Francis and his teachings to his grandchildren cause Chris to become convinced that defecation is a sin, while it makes Stewie become fascinated with God and his power to punish sinners.

Francis is bored by retirement and is soon hired at the Happy-Go-Lucky Toy Factory where Peter works; thanks to his excellent proficiency he is made foreman of the factory and fires Peter. Francis tells Peter he is a failure as a worker and a father, with this Peter gets tired of trying to please his father and at first does not know what to do, but then sees on the news that the Pope is visiting Boston. Peter decides to drive to Boston and "kidnap" the Pope so that he could tell Francis what a good father and person he is. Peter takes the Pope to his house; when Lois sees him she is terrified that Peter kidnapped him. Although he kidnapped him, the Pope agrees to tell Francis what a good person Peter is. Before they go, Peter fixes the problems Francis had created for his grandchildren; he tells Chris that what happens in the bathroom is between him and God, and to Meg that it is okay at her age to go out with boys, and tells Stewie about how loving God is.

Peter takes the Pope to the toy factory, where he tells Francis that Peter is a good man and father. After hearing this Francis accuses the Pope of being soft; the Pope takes great offense at Francis's claim and starts yelling at him, threatening to excommunicate him. Peter intervenes, and when he reveals he wanted his father's love, Francis says that albeit he doesn't like Peter's personality, he loves his son, and Peter reconciles with his father. Francis is forgiven by the Pope and is hired for a job as a security guard for his tour of the United States. At the end of the episode, Peter's mother shows up at the door and wishes to live with the family, prompting them to jump in an escape pod.

Characters[]

Major Roles[]

Minor Roles[]

Quotes[]

Peter: Look at that Lois, dad reading Stewie to sleep, just like he never did for me.
Chris: I didn't even know there was a 5:00am mass. I didn't even know there was a 5:00am! [To Lois] What else haven't you told me?!
Lois: Peter, calm down, its his first night of retirement. He is probably out enjoying himself
Brian: [Holding the phone] He's in jail.
Peter: Hey, listen up, everybody. Your Grandpa Griffin is finally retiring.
Meg: Grandpa Griffin?
Chris: Is he that guy who smells like firewood and has those big gray pussywillows in his ears?
Lois: Chris, that's a terrible word. "Pussywillows."
Peter: That was some speech, Dad.
Lois: Yes. It's a shame Grandma wasn't there to hear it.
Francis: Bless her heart. She's on another one of her prayer missions in Las Vegas.
[Scene cuts to Thelma in Las Vegas]
Thelma: Hit me, you five-card stud. [hacking cough] Cocktail!
Peter: Dad, now that you're retired, you're coming to stay with us. No more excuses. I'm putting my foot down. [The brakes screech and Brian falls out of his seat] Geez, Brian, buckle up.
Francis: You're a good woman, Lois. Perhaps you won't burn in Hell after all. Maybe you'll just go to purgatory with all the unbaptized babies.
Peter: Hey, there you go, Lois. You love kids.
Stewie: You know, I rather like this God fellow. He's very theatrical, you know. A pestilence here and a plague there. Omnipotence! Got to get me some of that.
Peter: We all enjoy the Bible in this house.
Francis: Really? What's your favorite book of the Bible?
Peter: Uh, that one where Jesus swallows the puzzle piece and the man in the big yellow hat has to take him to the hospital.
Peter: Dad, you're retired.
Francis: I'd rather be dead.
Vern: Dead? I'll tell you what's dead, vaudeville! Ya know what killed it? The talking pictures! But you can still make it, kid, ya just gotta have a gimmick. I, for one, am a tumbler. Now watch my roundoff. [falls on his back] Hey, kid, do me a favor, take the pills out of my pocket and put one under my tongue.
[After Francis leaves Peter at the baseball game]
Lois: He just left without saying anything? Where would he go?
Peter: I don't know. I asked him to buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks.
Brian: I don't care if he ever gets back. I wasn't being cute. I really hope he's dead.
[When Peter gets Francis from jail]
Peter: Dad, my God, are you okay?
Francis: Don't be using the Lord's name in vain!
Peter: He's okay! Thank God!
Peter: I don't get it, Lois. Baseball's always been the secret to male bonding. It even worked for Rosie O'Donnell and his father in A League of Their Own.
Stewie: [after reading the Bible] My, my. What a thumping good read! Lions eating Christians, people nailing each other to two-by-fours. I say, you won't find that in Winnie-the-Pooh.
Chris: Please don't say "pooh."
Francis: Something's wrong with your shower. The water's not cold enough. I like me showers colder than a well digger's kerfluffin.
Lois: I think it's time someone sits his "kerfluffin" down and has a talk with his unemployed son.
The Pope: Are you sure this is Boston?
Peter: Yeah, it's Boston. See, look, there's Harvard.
The Pope: That's just a barn.
Peter: Ooh, someone went to Yale.
The Pope: As you said, Peter, "I am the freakin' Pope."
Francis: Well, fine. I'll be on me way. And you can take back your job.
Peter: [comes to Francis for a hug] Aw, Dad.
Francis: [pushes Peter away] Don't push it!
Peter: [disappointed] Awww...

Trivia[]

  • The sign outside of the Quahog Mariners Banquet Hall reads Now Free of that Urine Smell.
  • The scene where Peter's at church was also in the original pilot episode.
  • Patrick Warburton, who voices Joe Swanson on the show, appears in this episode, voicing Superman whom he also voiced on a commercial for American Express with Jerry Seinfeld.[1]
  • Mirroring the end of The Wizard of Oz, Peter gives encouraging talks to the Scarecrow and Tin Woodman, but instead of the Cowardly Lion, he compliments out-of-the-spotlight actress Kristy McNichol.
  • A commercial parodies the Got milk? ad campaign.
  • This episode marks the first appearance of Vern, the Vaudeville Guy; his piano-playing partner, Johnny, does not appear until "Blind Ambition".
  • "Holy Crap" was also the title of an episode of That '70s Show, starring Mila Kunis, that aired on Fox on May 1, 2000. Kunis, however, would not become Meg's voice until the next season.
  • When imagining himself in Hell, Peter meets Adolf Hitler, Al Capone, John Wilkes Booth, and Superman, who killed a hooker for making a joke about his premature ejaculation being "faster than a speeding bullet."
  • The license plate of the Popemobile reads ZL PA PA and IL PA PA. "Il papa" means “the Pope” in Italian.
  • After Brian mentions the Old Testament story in which "God told Abraham to kill Isaac," a cutaway shows President Abraham Lincoln shooting bartender Isaac from The Love Boat.
  • Peter imagines his father-son business with himself as Lamont Sanford and his father as Fred G. Sanford of Sanford and Son.
  • Peter says that baseball worked as a means of male bonding that worked for Rosie O'Donnell and his dad in A League of Their Own, a 1992 film depicting the founding of the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League.
  • The Pope comments that he doesn't think that he is in Boston, and Peter supposedly points out Harvard, but instead points to a barn. When the Pope says "That's just a barn," Peter replies "Ohh, someone went to Yale!", a nod to the fierce rivalry between Yale and Harvard.

Cultural References[]

  • On the TV show The Brady Bunch, Cindy asks if Bobby is really a doctor, referencing the old joke of children taking off their clothes to "play doctor".
  • The lyrics to the unofficial Major League Baseball anthem "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" make their way into Brian and Peter's conversation.
  • The back of the jacket of one of the Pope's road managers reads "Pope-a-Palooza," a reference to the Alternative rock festival Lollapalooza.
  • Peter drives the Pope past the chain gang from the film Cool Hand Luke.
  • The sequence in which Peter exclaims "To the Popemobile!" parodies sequences in which Batman and Robin rush to the Batmobile in the 1960s Batman television series, which starred Family Guy cast member Adam West.
  • The escape pod refers to the similar pod used in Star Wars.
  • When Francis asks Peter which is his favorite book of the bible, he responds with, "the one where Jesus swallows the puzzle piece and the man in the big yellow hat has to take him to the hospital." This a reference to the children's book, Curious George Goes to the Hospital by Margret and H.A. Rey.
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.