Girl, Internetted is an episode of Family Guy.
Meg makes a series of YouTube videos of herself, eating disgusting food, which results in her gaining both internet stardom and diabetes. Meanwhile, Brian gets a temporary Hummer, while his Prius gets repaired.
After the family attends a streaming convention, Meg decides to start her own online show in which she would eat anything she could find. However, this takes its toll on her during a live appearance in which she collapses in a diabetic coma.
Meanwhile, after Stewie and Brian get kicked out of the convention, they are in involved in an accident. After being insulted for driving a 'girly' car, Brian insists on their most macho loaner car available and is giving a Hummer. Luckily, he is available to help rush Meg to the hospital when she collapses.
At the hospital, Meg and the family learns that she has become diabetic, but her taste for fame drives her to continue her eating, and it soon costs her her feet. When she is honored at school, she realizes that all of her friends have become fat because of her. as she pledges to eat healthy and try to save what's left of her health, the bleachers the students are on collapses, resulting in the death of a janitor. Dr. Hartman is able to give Meg a foot transplant from the body.
When the time comes for Brian to give back the Hummer after his car is repaired, he is heartbroken but Stewie manages to wreck the rear end of his Prius again so that they can keep it for a couple of extra weeks. They decide to tease environmentally conscious Mark Ruffalo by doing donuts on his lawn, but find out to their dismay that he really is the Hulk as he pitches them and the Hummer into New Hampshire. Inexplicably, Peter has become a sentient beam of light, and Chris now has the Shining.
- Chris Griffin
- Lois Griffin
- Joe Swanson
- Dr. Hartman
- Tom Tucker
- Joyce Kinney
- Paul McCartney
- Mark Ruffalo
- Patty Patterson
- Ruth Rutherford
- Esther Esthederm
- Principal Shepherd
- Sam Elliot
- Cleveland Brown (Cameo)
- Seamus Levine (Pictured)
- Rupert (Pictured)
- Consuela De La Morrela (Pictured)
- Meg: I tell ya, Sundays are the best. Aren't they?
- Peter: You said it, chief. [to Chris] Hey, Chris. What's the name of the girl on the end of the couch? I'm sure I've met her before.
- Chris: I'll introduce myself to her. That'll get her to say it. [to Meg] Hi, I'm Chris.
- Meg: Hi, Chris.
- Chris: Well, that didn't work.
- [Peter's monocle falls off, after he hears talk about new technology]
- Peter: Heavens!
- Corey: That Nazi stuff I said was in the heat of a very competitive Halo game and congratulations to Goldblatt69, whose people definitely do not control the media and all banking.
- Peter: Oh, awesome! Look over there! You can take a selfie in a hospital bed to get social media attention!
- [Peter posts a picture of himself in a hospital bed and gets tons of media attention]
- Peter: Oh boy, well this is the last thing I wanted.
- Brian: Hey, you know how Snapchat puts a fake dog tongue on you? How'd you like a real one?
- [Brian strikes out with some girls]
- Brian: Ah, times have changed. Three years ago, I would've been a hero.
- Stewie: Three years ago, they would've been twelve.
- Peter: Is there anything you can do?
- Meg: Uh, yeah actually, I can [long censored beep, accompanied by suggestive hand movements].
- Peter: [disturbed and crying] Is ... Is there anything you can do in front of your dad?
- Meg: I can shuffle a deck of cards.
- Peter: [relieved] Ah, good.
- Meg: With my [long censored beep, accompanied by finger motions and gestures toward her crotch].
- Peter: Alright, we're taking your bedroom door off the hinges.
- Dr. Hartman: Meg has type 2 diabetes. The one, where you're supposed to shame her, not feel sorry for her.
- Tom: Coming up, local anchor brings a concealed weapon to work ... as is his right.
- Meg: Pancresta. Makes opiates looks like fucking baby aspirin.
- [Brian drives his hummer]
- Brian: OUT OF THE WAY, YOU OLD BAG!
- Stewie: Brian, that's Paul McCartney doing Carpool Karaoke songs we can afford.
- [Paul McCartney sings karaoke in the car]
- Paul McCartney: [singing] She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes. Whooooo!
- [Car mechanic fixes Brian's Prius]
- Car Mechanic: All set. You can probably get another 130,000 miles out of this thing.
- Brian: Well, let's see I drive about 4,000 a year so when this car goes, I'll be ...
- Stewie: Dead for 18 years.
- Meg: Is everyone okay, Principal Shepherd?
- Principal Shepherd: Mostly. We only had one fatality. An old janitor was crushed under the bleachers.
- [Screen shows the feet of a janitor sticking out from under the bleachers]
- Meg: Oh no! I'm so sorry.
- [A bunch of fat munchkins walk up]
- Fat Munchkin #1: Don't be! He was the wicked janitor of the east!
- All Munchkins: [singing] Ding dong. The janitor died! The crooked cleaner died!
- Meg: Huh. Has anyone claimed his feet?
- Chris: Yeah, and has anyone claimed his mop?
- Dr. Hartman: Good news. The feet transplant was a success.
- [Chris is shown with mop hair]
- Chris: So, good news all around.
- Meg: I'm doing it, guys! I'm walking again!
- Lois: [unhappy] Great. Now maybe you can use those new janitor legs to lose all that weight.
- Meg: I'll do just that, mom. After I get a clean shave, of course.
- Peter: Well, I'm glad everything's back to normal.
- Lois [angry] No it isn't! Meg's fat and has a dead janitor's feet, Brian's a Hummer douche, Stewie got thrown into New Hampshire by The Hulk, you're a beam of light, and Chris has a mop for a wig!
- Chris: I have The Shining now!
- Lois: And Chris has The Shining now!
- Brian: Hey, chill, chick. I hired Sam Elliot to come here and do a live performance of Lick it Up, by everyone's favorite band, KISS!
- [Screen shows Sam Elliot in the living room]
- Sam Elliot: [monotonously singing] Lick it up ... Lick it up ... Lick it up.
- Lois: [freaking out] NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS NORMAL!
- Peter: Lois, calm down. Just do a line of Panc and everything will be fine.
- [Lois does a line of Pancresta]
- Lois: [relaxed and high] Ahhh, yes.
- Peter: Feel better now?
- Lois: Road House!
- Peter: Road House.
- Sam Elliot: Road House ... is a movie I was in.
- Peter uses his FaceBook and Instagram accounts, both titled "Peter Pumpkineater69" and both of which actually exist.
- Corey appears in person for the first time.
- Apparently Rupert has a FaceBook account.
- Joe can sense when someone's legs are destroyed.
- It's revealed that Corey is 5'2.
- Corey has gotten in trouble for making Nazi comments.
- Meg loses her feet to diabetes, but she surgically replaces them with the perfectly similar feet of the recently deceased school janitor.
- Several YouTube stars are referenced, including Logan Paul, Ted Williams, Grumpy Cat, Tyler Oakley, Lele Pons, GLoZell, and Joey Graceffa.
- Gil Scott Heron is mentioned in the history of rap audio tape.
- Every song in Brian's hummer plays the song "Lick it Up", by KISS.
- Peter quotes limericks from Robert Frost.
- Joe does a reference to The Shining.
- Brian names his car Mark McGrath.
- Mark Ruffalo's role of The Incredible Hulk is made fun of.
- Peter explains that he's about to use the monocle.
- Peter does an Instagram, where he insults a loner and it becomes a whole thing.
- Peter and Meg make fun of Triscuits.
- Meg sickens Peter, by telling her about her bizarre ways of masturbating.
- Stewie pointing out that it's night, before the reveal.
- Peter tells Meg who her new sponsors are and tells her to wash the tip of her middle finger.
- Meg and Peter getting into trouble with magic shell ice cream.
- Sam Elliot narrates Brian driving Stewie in his Hummer.
- Brian saying that Meg's middle finger smells weird.
- Tom Tucker brings up Pancresta again, comparing it to God's mouth.
- The car mechanic mentioning his wife dying of Pancresta consumption.
- Stewie suggesting they drive on Mark Ruffalo's lawn, before the scene actually starts.
- Sam Elliot narrating the end of the Mark Ruffalo story.
- Sam Elliot does a narration of Peter's feet.
- Corey makes an off-color statement about Jewish kids.