The Boys in the Band

The Boys in the Band
	Season 14, Episode 1
Air date	September 20, 2015
	List of Episodes
Previous; A Lot Going on Upstairs	Next; Saturated Fat Guy

The Boys in the Band is the first episode and season premiere of the fourteenth season of Family Guy. It's the 323rd episode, overall.

Synopsis[]

Stewie and Brian form a children's band that quickly rises to fame until they let a girl get between them and drive the band apart. Meanwhile, Chris gets fired from the Quahog Mini-Mart when he commits a rule violation, and needs to look for a new job. And ends up landing a job managing Quagmire's sex life as his personal assistant.

Plot[]

Chris is working at the Quahog Mini-Mart and his friends come in, wanting to buy an R Rated film that recently hit the shelves called Bloodbath Bandits. He attempts to give it to them, but Carl stops them, saying that he's becoming more strict about the rules there, to avoid running into legal issues, and he can't allow a film like that to be sold to minors. Brian then comes in and buys that exact film, being old enough to watch it, much to the anger of Chris' friends.

Brian watches the film with Stewie at home and they both enjoy it. Lois overhears the film and tells Brian to stop watching that in front of Stewie, and then changes the TV to something appropriate. The show she changes it to is a band called The Turtlenecks, which is an annoying band that sings stupid songs. Stewie comes to the realization that baby bands never tackle actual baby issues. He and Brian decide to start up their own baby band, so that they can change that.

Brian goes back to the Quahog Mini-Mart to return the film. After he leaves, Chris realizes that before he officially "returns" the film, he can keep it while it's still on Brian's tab. Due to this loophole, he will be able to watch the film at home with his friends, without technically breaking the rules. Later that day, he does just that, and they watch a film, enjoying the scenes, showing nudity.

Brian and Stewie work on writing songs. All of Brian's ideas for songs are way too deep and philosophical for babies, but Stewie's lyrics actually work. Basically, Stewie is making up all the ideas. He is also the one who comes up with the idea for their band name, being Red Shirt Blue Shirt and having their clothing be a red shirt and a blue shirt.

When Chris returns to work the next day, Carl fires him, because what he did was breaking the transaction of a DVD return, which is a direct violation of the rules. He goes home and breaks the news to his parents and Lois tells him that he needs to look for a new job.

Stewie and Brian book a gig at a kid's birthday party. When they get there, Stewie notices that one of the partygoers is Olivia Fuller, much to his nervousness. The two of them meet again and catch up and Olivia is surprisingly happy to see him, despite how he burned her house down during their previous encounter. Stewie and Brian get on stage and play the song "Mommy and Daddy's Room", which is a huge hit with the kids. Olivia likes the song too and says that she thinks they deserve some publicity. She has celebrity connections, so she can help boost the fame of Red Shirt Blue Shirt, booking them some more gigs.

Chris goes through a series of jobs, looking for employment. He tries getting a job at the Post Office with Cleveland and a job being Joe's caretaker, but those don't seem to work. He goes home, and hears Quagmire in an argument with one of his girls. Apparently, they was a scheduling mix-up and a Caucasian girl showed up on a day, where he was banging only Asians. Chris talks to Quagmire about the dilemma and Chris proposes the idea of being the "scheduling guy" for Quagmire.

Olivia books Red Shirt Blue Shirt a gig at a park that's holding a little concert. She, herself is in the concert too, being the leader of her own band called Fuller House. After her performance, all of Olivia's bandmates tell her that they're kicking her out of the band, because she's too annoying and rude to everyone there. Olivia is infuriated, but there's nothing she can do. Plus, she doesn't want to embarrass herself in front of Stewie, who she apparently still has some kind of romantic interest in. She congratulates Red Shirt Blue Shirt after their performance, and so does her agent, who says that the two of them are only going up on the ladder to fame.

It's Chris' first day on the job and he's working behind a help desk in Quagmire's house. Basically, he's supposed to interview girls and see if they are worthy of being with him or not. The whole thing runs like a professional business complex and he does great at it.

Olivia invites Stewie and Brian to dinner at Cheesey Charlie's and when Brian's away, she manipulates Stewie, trying to get the two of them to go against each other.

Quagmire is really appreciating Chris' hard work and accepts him as a full-time worker there. He also gives him some extra work to do, which would be washing his sex toys. Chris goes to his own house and uses the dishwasher to do that. When Lois finds out about it, she is appalled that this is what his new job is and she convinces Peter to help her put a stop to it.

At one of their performances, Stewie and Brian start fighting with each other and Brian turns on Stewie, kicking him out of the band, now with Olivia replacing him.

Peter and Lois confront Carl about Chris being fired and convince him to give him his old job back.

At Brian and Olivia's first performance, Brian sees Stewie in the audience, crying over the fact that he's no longer in the band. Brian realizes that Red Shirt Blue Shirt was completely founded by Stewie and so, he quits the band. The two of them become friends again and decide to leave Olivia, the band, and all that fame behind. Olivia continues the band, and so she replaced Brian with Vinny.

Characters[]

Major Roles[]

Minor Roles[]

Quotes[]

Lois: Brian, this does not seem appropriate to watch in front of the baby.

Stewie: Not appropriate? You took me to see Magic Mike XXL.

[Cutaway to Lois trying to find dry a seat in the theater]

Lois: Oh, this one's wet. Ugh, this one too. Also wet. Huh, this one's dry, but the back of the seat in front of it is wet.

Stewie: Ooh, I'm excited. This'll be great and those guys back at the factory can suck it.

[Cutaway to Stewie and some other people working at a construction site]

Stewie: I'm gunna get out of this place one day.

Female Worker: Hey, Butch. Get a load of Stewie. He says he's gonna get out of here.

[Workers laugh]

Stewie: You don't know me, man. I'm different. I got ideas.

Female Worker: Hey, Butch. You hear that? Stewie's got ideas.

Stewie: Shut up! I'm gonna go across that river and make it to the city on the other side. I'm gonna be a singer.

Female Worker: Bublé over here says he's gonna be a singer.

Male Worker: Hey, Bublé. I got a tune for you to sing. It's called "Get your ass back on the forklift. Lunch is over."

Butch: Hey, Stewie. Don't listen to those guys. Follow your heart.

Stewie: Shut up, Butch. You're the loser of this crew. Hey guys. You hear that? Butch told me to follow my heart!

Chris: I can't work. I'm too young.

Peter: Well, Will Smith's little kid works as a movie star, even though he looks like a wet baby horse.

Peter: Chris is looking for work. Maybe he can help you out. Be your assistant.

Quagmire: Huh, maybe. [to Chris] Do you have any references?

Chris: Uh, Cowabunga, Schwing, Yadda Yadda Yadda.

Quagmire: Those are pretty good references. You're hired.

Olivia: Stewie? Oh, I thought that was you.

Stewie: Hey, Olivia, Hey! What brings you here?

Olivia: Oh, the birthday boy and I met at Burt Reynolds' acting camp in Jupiter, Florida.

Stewie: Well, I'm glad to hear you're still acting. You know, the last time I saw you, you were ...

Olivia: Burning in a cardboard house?

Stewie: Yep, burning in a cardboard house, yeah.

Olivia: Great crowd babe.

Brian: What are you ... what is this?

Stewie: Oh Olivia is the president of our fan club. She's also doing half the band.

Brian: Do you even know what that means?

Stewie: Uh let's just say I couldn't toddle right for a week.

Brian: Okay you know.

Olivia: Alright if you'll excuse me I have a poo poo diaper.

Petting Zoo Guy: It's a hot crowd out there. Have fun out there. I'm gonna go feed everything in my van to each other.

Peter: Oh, hey, Chris. How's the job hunt going?

Chris: Terrible. I can't find a job anywhere. A lot of people seem to be turned off by my dishonorable discharge.

Peter: What, from the army?

Chris: No, it's a euphemism.

Peter: Oh, yucky.

Brian: Hey, let's keep this party rolling. I'll go get us another badly scratched pitcher of soda.

[Brian leaves]

Olivia: Ugh, finally, he's doing something useful.

Stewie: What? What do you mean?

Olivia: Nothing, it's just, you write all the songs, you've got a better voice, you've got the sweet bod.

Stewie: Oh my God, babe.

Olivia: Plus, you've got all the cool catchphrases like "Damn you all" and "What the dude" or whatever.

Stewie: Uh, it's-it's "Deuce", uh but yeah-yeah-yeah you're right. I-I do. Does it sound through the mic like I'm saying "Dude?" Should it be "Dude?"

Quagmire: You know, you're doing a great job, Chris. Why don't you jerk the rest of the day off?

Olivia: The clock is ticking on Stewie's cuteness.

Brian: Huh. Well, I guess you're right. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if he end up looking like an exact mash-up of Lois and Peter.

[Cutaway to Stewie as an adult, looking like both Lois and Peter]

Stewie: Heh heh heh heh heh heh, groceries.

Stewie: Fine, go ahead! It's not going to be the same! Like Cheers wasn't the same when they brought in Kirstie Alley!

[Cutaway to an episode of Cheers, where "Norm" walks into the bar]

Crew: Norm!

Rebecca: No, I'm ... I'm Rebecca.

Peter: Meg, do you know how to use Microsoft Excel?

Meg: Yeah, I'm actually pretty good.

Peter: Yeah, you would, dork!

[Meg leaves the table in anger]

Peter: But, I do need to make that spread sheet or I'm fired.

Lois: Oh my God! Peter, our dishwasher is full of sex toys!

Peter: Oh, yeah. Chris put those in there. It's for his job. He's working for Quagmire now.

Lois: He's washing sex toys for Quagmire?

Peter: Not just that, he also takes pictures of Quagmire's genitals and to track sore growth. So brace yourself when you open iphoto. It's on the Griffin family account.

Lois: Peter, my parents have access to that.

[Cutaway to Carter on the Griffin Family website]

Carter: What's wrong with this worm?

Lois: That's it. I'm calling Quagmire right now and putting an end to this.

[Lois calls up Quagmire on the phone]

Chris: You have reached Glenn Quagmire. Neither he nor his assistant is available. To schedule a liaison, press one. To cancel a liaison, press two. If you're calling to report a pregnancy, please fill out our online form, and we will mail you a check for $180. Thank you, a have a giggity day. [Beep]

Lois: Chris, this is your mother. Get these dildos out of the dishwasher.

[Mort is dressed in a S&M horse costume]

Mort: Well, that's what I got for horsing around.

[Peter tries to hit a baseball with a bat, but misses]

Peter: Ah, your joke wasn't funny enough.

Stewie: Hey, I wonder if she's gonna keep the band going.

Brian: Probably. She told me she was just gonna replace me with another dog.

Stewie: Yes, but who?

[Cutaway to Olivia in the band with Vinny]

Vinny: Alright, listen up you little pieces of garbage. This song is about getting heart-burn from baked clams and other kid stuff.

Songs[]

Do You Kazoo?
Mama Liked to Party (Chris' Song)
Mommy and Daddy's Room
Where Do We Come From?
Butt Paste
Big Kid in the Baby Swing
Where the Gun is
Little Brother

Trivia[]

The title of this episode is a reference to the movie of the same name.
The Turtlenecks are a parody on The Wiggles.
Guest star Amy Schumer is the first person to guest star on three FOX animated shows on the same night.
Credited as providing the voice of the "crew leader," a preview video for the episode had the character depicted as a male, complete with an arrow noting that Amy was providing the voice. A last minute addition to the episode promos, as well as the episode itself, shows the character redrawn as female. The character to her left was also redesigned.
Several long-disused locations and characters are brought back for this episode, including Cheesie Charlie's, Bob's Funland Amusement Park, Olivia Fuller and more recently, Vinny.
"Tubthumping" by Chumbawumba plays during Chris' rush to the airport.
Vinny replacing Brian in the band is a reference to Vinny replacing Brian in the series.

Cultural References[]

Chris' "references" are nods to the shows Wayne's World, The Simpsons and Seinfeld.
Fuller House is a reference to the show of the same name and Olivia being kicked out of there is a reference to how The Olsen Twins did not reprise their role of the main character in the series.
Brian says he wrote a play about Alexander Hamilton that wasn't the obvious one, referring the award-winning musical Hamilton.

Deleted Scenes[]

The R rated film being a Willy Wonka parody.
Chris asking Peter for a shamrock tattoo.
Chris' job interview, involving him punching Quagmire in the stomach.
An alternate ending to the episode, where Peter and Lois get Chris to quit his job, by telling him there's a thousand dollars and a bunch of paint cans in the garage.

The Boys in the Band
Season 14, Episode 1

Air date	September 20, 2015
List of Episodes
Previous A Lot Going on Upstairs	Next Saturated Fat Guy