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Customer of the Week

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Customer of the Week
Season 19, Episode 12
Customer of the Week
Air date December 6, 2020
List of Episodes
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Pawtucket Pat 		Next
The First No L

Customer of the Week is the 12th episode of the nineteenth season of Family Guy. It's the 464th episode, overall.

Synopsis[]

After feeling unappreciated by her family, Lois taps into her villainous side and attempts to win "Best Customer" at her favorite coffee shop.

Plot[]

Lois puts up the grind of daily life but finds peace at her local coffee shop, the House of Brews. But when she notices that they award a customer of the week, she sets her sights on winning it. However, she is heartbroken when she misses out once again. She steps up her efforts, but strikes out yet again. Expressing her frustrations to the family, Chris suggests maybe she could save one of the staff's life.

Aware that a staff member has a peanut allergy, she loads their car with peanuts but it ends in a fiery car crash. When she learns from a woman's mom that they're going to be checking the security cameras, she rushes to the store but her secret is already out. She takes the staff member hostage, but promises to take care of his cat for him. At his apartment, she meets his two roommates and ends up having to tie them up when they get suspicious.

After having to fix a fancy meal for one of her latest hostage's grandmother, Lois goes nonchalantly through dinner and chores, showing no emotion when the news announces that her hostages were recovered and when the police arrive at her door to arrest her. After serving six months in prison, she is released and she stops at a different coffee shop on the way home. She is pleasant with the barista until she tips following her order, but takes offense when her large tip isn't noticed.

Characters[]

Major Roles[]

Minor Roles[]

Quotes[]

Lois: Brandy, what's in the news this morning?
Brandy: Here is your morning briefing: In Washington D.C., Congress has passed a measure to ...
Lois: Brandy, skip to celebrity birthdays.
Brandy: Mario Lopez is 47 years old today.
Lois: No way! Someone should tell his face!
Brandy: I know right?
Lois: See you later, Brandy. You're my best friend.
Brandy: ... And you're ... You're awesome, Lois.
Meg: [offscreen] Hey, mom! My period started on the couch!
Peter: My shoes are on the roof. Get 'em.
Chris: If they didn't want us to put out foot down there, they shouldn't make it a perfect fit for a toilet shoe.
Lois: You know, I always thought that peanut allergies just went away, when you became an adult, you know, like tonsils ... Tonsils go away, right? I thought I read that-What are tonsils?
Guy: Excuse me. Are you in line for the bathroom?
Lois: No.
Guy: Oh, then MOVE!!!
[The guy tries to open the door but it's locked]
Guy: GIVE ME THE KEY!!!
Peter: So, how was everybody's day?
Chris: I made the football team ...
Peter: Congratulations.
Chris: ... Throw up because I put cleaner in the Gatorade.
Peter: Still pretty good.
Lois: I almost never say anything when foreigners loudly Facetime.
Lois: In general, I'm a pretty good person, ... right?
Chris: Yeah, I mean, you show a little patience for the handicapped at times but ... yeah.
Peter: Lois, should I stop recording? Uhp, you got a text. Uhp, I clicked it. Uhp, it's Bonnie. She's responding to you. Uhp, about me. Uhp, I'm reading the old texts. Uhp, I should stop. Uhp, but I can’t. Oh, you're unhappy. Uhp, who's Greg? Uhp, there’s Greg.
Lois: You know what I think the problem is, Stewie? I need to show them that I deserve to be customer of the week.
Stewie: You don't.
Lois: Well, they probably see a woman like me and think, "she's got it all."
Stewie: They don't.
Lois: I know it's a silly little award, but I don't ask for much.
Stewie: You do.
Lois: And this is the one place, the one place that makes me feel happy.
Stewie: You aren't.
Lois: I don't understand what I'm doing wrong. I feel like I really vibe with everyone there.
Stewie: You don't.
Lois: I'm one of their best customers. You know, if I stopped showin' up, they'd probably wonder where I went.
Stewie: They wouldn't.
Lois: Because I'm a nice person.
Stewie: You're not.
Lois: I tip in cash.
Stewie: So?
Lois: And I can't think of one reason why they wouldn't pick me.
Stewie: I can.
Lois: Oh, thanks for listening, Stewie.
Stewie: I had no choice.
[The Griffins (sans Lois) argue over the best Spider-Man movie]
Peter: In fact, there'd be no superhero movies without Toby McGuire.
Chris: No way! Garfield never got the chance!
Brian: Is Affleck the best Batman? No, but he had the best Batman body.
Meg: He'll be the first ex-Spiderman to win an Oscar!
Stewie: Just cuz it's an animation, people think it's not legit!
Peter: You flush it. It scared me when it does away!
Meg: Why is this story all about mom this week? What? Are we giving Seth's voice a rest?
[Peter, Brian, and Stewie sit there, as a cast of other Seth-Voiced characters gather around them; Kevin sporting his old design gathers around; Chip grows on Peter; Vern's ghost rises from the dead; the Kool-Aid Guy breaks in too; Roger and Tim from American Dad! and The Cleveland Show cameo]
Peter/Stewie/Brian/Quagmire/Tom/Carter/Dr. Hartman/Kevin/Seamus/Ida/Jasper/Arthur/Jake/God/Jesus/Vern/Kool-Aid Guy/Chip/Roger/Tim: Shut up, Mila.
Lois: Oh, shaving cream.
Chris: Mom, why are we at the hospital to visit your barista?
Lois: Chris, I promise that if one of your baristas ever gets into an accident, I'll go to the hospital, too.
Chris: Okay. That's all I wanted to hear. I've got a lot of baristas who make questionable choices.
Lois: Hi, you must be Lisa's mother. How's she doing? Did she say what happened?
Lisa's Mom: No, she mostly just said [moans inaudibly].
Lois: Oh, that's not a good moan.
Lisa's Mom: Apparently, somebody put peanuts in her car and she's deathly allergic.
Lois: Oh no. Here are flowers.
Stewie: [offscreen] She took those from a guard rail memorial.
Lois: Do they have any leads on who could have done it?
Lisa's Mom: No.
Lois: Good ... [realizing she almost gave herself away] Grief! "Good grief" is what Charlie Brown would say, here. Peanuts. Probably a poor choice of reference.
Lois: Exit stage left!
[Lois zips into a room marked "Pediatric Oncology" like Snagglepuss and then walks back out]
Lois: That was a very sad door to run into.
Lois: Now, there are two ways we can go from here. You can give me your absolute trust or ... I can get you hooked on heroin. Heroin's not bad. Not having heroin. That's what's bad.
Kyle's Roommate: People are gonna know we're gone. I promised my boyfriend that I'd ...
Lois: Wait, you're gay?
Kyle's Roommate: Yeah. You sound surprised.
Lois: I don't know. You just don't present as gay.
Kyle's Roommate: Oh, so gays present?
Lois: No! No. No, that's not ... What!? I'm woke!
Lois: [exasperated] I don't know. I ... I guess I'm not woke. Okay? Fine! You win with your gay stuff! That's what you want, right? You win!
Kyle's Roommate: Look, what I was trying to say is that you can't leave us like this because I promised my boyfriend that I'd make a meal for his grandmother's Meal Train. If I don't drop it off, they're gonna know something's wrong.
Lois: [inhales deeply] What are you supposed to make?
Kyle's Roommate: Beef wellington.
Lois: [shocked and dismayed] Wha ... B ... BEEF WELLINGTON!? For tonight!?
Kyle's Roommate: Yeah, why? Is that hard?
Lois: [daunted] YES! If you're starting at 2:00pm, very! Yes!
[Peter escapes the tool shed with a wheelbarrow]
Peter: Ha ha! Too fast and too smart for ya, earwigs!
[An earwig crawls into Peter's ear]
Peter: Now, to continue clearing the yard. [gets possessed by the earwig] Collecting moisture and sleeping in wood.
Brian: Hey, Lois. Whatever happened to that customer of the week thing?
Lois: [on edge] Uh, the ... the ... the, what!?
Brian: The customer of the week at the coffee shop. Did you ever win?
Lois: [nervously defensive] Wha ... Why? Why would you bring that up? What are you, obsessed with it!?
Brian: [confused] Um, you ... you have been talking about it ...
Lois: OH, SO YOU CAN HEAR ME WHEN I SAY THAT BUT CAN'T HEAR ME WHEN I SAY GET OFF THE COUCH!
Brian: [scared and ashamed] I like to be up by people.
Chris: You guys wanna play spin the bottle for finger stuff? Crank this night up a notch?
Stewie: ... I'm in.
Tom: Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker. In local news, two roommates were found bound and gagged in their apartment this morning in what they're calling, "The Catsitter Tier-Upper". Guys, we need to get better name comer upper withers.
Joe: Well, Peter, I think the main difference is Chinese people are from China and Japanese people are from Japan.
Peter: [whispering]
Joe: Yes, that's probably why you were banned from the restaurant.
[Lois tips her barista five dollars]
Lois: ... Well, you could have said thank you. You don't see a lot of five dollar bills in there. I must be a pretty good person to give a five.

Trivia[]

  • This episode takes place on Mario Lopez's 47th birthday, making it October 10th, 2020.
  • Lois considers her Alexa, Brandy, to be her best friend.
  • The lyrics of the "Wheels on the Bus" video Stewie was watching on TV detail how the bus driver was checking his phone and ran over a senior citizen.
  • Lois likes watching "The Crown".
  • Lois believes she'd read that tonsils go away when you're an adult, but then admits she isn't even sure what tonsils are.
  • Producer Richard Appel appears as a "Customer of the Week" at House of Brews.
  • Lois claims to be a Gemini, which places her birthday between Mat 21st to June 20th. This is correct as her birthday is June 3rd, 1967.
  • The Griffin Family's favorite Spidermans:
  • Chris notes that Lois shows little patience for the handicapped at times.
  • The sad ward Lois walks into, "Pediatric Onocology", is a ward for kids with cancer.
  • Lois tries to reassure Kyle H. that the situation in the shed isn't scary, while an axe and a pair of goggles are visible behind her.
  • Seth MacFarlane briefly reprises his role as Kevin Swanson for the first time since Season 4's "Full Metal Jackass". To sell it further, he's in his original dresswear (green shirt, blue pants, and black shoes) he wore exclusively for the seasons Seth voiced him.

Cultural References[]

  • When Lois expresses Brian's anal glands, the latter breaks into a chorus of "Black Betty" by Ram Jam.
  • "7 Note in Nero", also known as "Seven Notes in Black" by Bixio Frizzi Tempera plays as Lois looks over the 'Customer of the Week' board.
  • Peter and Chris attempted to delete Lois' recorded episodes of The Crown in "The First No L". She mentions again in this episode that she likes The Crown.
  • Lois compares the chip in her credit card to "living in The Star Wars", a meta joke aimed at those that refer to Family Guy as The Family Guy and the subject of a joke in "Take My Wife".
  • Gregor "The Mountain" Clegane from Game of Thrones crushes the head of the woman who cuts in front of Lois.

Gallery[]

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