Crappy Table Talk
FOX Sunday Table Talk is a recurring bumper, relating to Family Guy, American Dad!, and The Cleveland Show, that airs on FOX on Sundays, between those shows. It's content features characters from the three shows, sitting around a table, and talking about various subjects, that people would generally talk about on a table talk show, with comedic results.


Hillary Clinton

Stan: Alright, politics! What do we got?
Peter: Hillary Clinton as secretary of state. What do you think?
Stan: Ooh, man. Strong opinions about that subject. Strong.
Rallo: We got a woman as secretary? Damn.
Roger: And what's so damn "Damn" about that?
Rallo: Nothin', I just miss our Baker, man.
Cleveland: Ha ha ha ha. Like the nursery rhyme.
Peter: Alright, what other jokes we got about this?
Stewie: Well, I think she's doing great, but I bet Joe Biden would like a bit less blonde ambition at state.
Roger: I read that in the New York times.
Stewie: What?
Roger: That was in the New York times. You stole it.
Stewie: No I didn't.
Stan: You did. I remember reading that, earlier today.
Cleveland: Yeah, that was in Maureen Dowd's column.
Stewie: Well, tha-tha-that Maureen Dowd sounds like one sharp tack. I'll have to start reading her. Wha-wha-what paper does she write for?
Rallo: Come on, man. You stole that.
Peter: Stolen ... Like Hillary Clinton stole our tax money. Cuz, ... cuz she's uh, a bad secretary. Is that-is that a joke?
Stewie: Eh, sounds like you just made it up.
Peter: I did.
Stan: Of course he did.
Cleveland: He did, man.
Peter: That's what makes it original.
Stewie: Look, my joke was original too. Maureen Dowd just had the same idea, you know? Collective thinking.
Roger: So, you're telling me, that if I look through that pile of papers, I wouldn't find a Maureen Dowd column?
Stewie: No. I'm just-I'm just-I'm just gunna-I'm just gunna go ahead and recycle these.
Peter: Like you recycled her joke.
Stewie: Shut up!

Earth Day

Peter: Alright, how's everyone plannin' to celebrate Earth Day?
Roger: Earth Day. Why's it always have to be about Earth? There are other planets, you know.
Peter: Oh really? Name one. And don't say Krypton.
Roger: Well, my home planet, for one.
Cleveland: Oh, you're supposed to be an alien? I thought you were an octopus.
Roger: An octopus? No, I'm clearly an alien. How do I look like an octopus?
Cleveland: Well, you got the whole head going on.
Roger: Oh, right, because only octopuses have heads. Did it strike you slightly odd, that an octopus would only have four limbs? I'm an alien, dipstick!
Cleveland: Well, there's no need to be rude. It's an honest mistake.
Rallo: Actually, Cleveland. I'm gunna be real witchyoo, man. That's a very dishonest mistake. [holds up picture of an octopus] This is what an octopus looks like.
Cleveland: Rully?
Roger: Yeah. Alien. Even your five year old son knows that.
Cleveland: I feel like an ignoramus.
Rallo: Step son, actually, and for the record, I did not approve of him marrying my mom.
Roger: Kicking the loser, while he's down. I love it.
Stewie: So, are you the kind of alien who, I don't know, probes people?
Roger: Depends where they keep their pecan sandies.
Cleveland: Ha ha. You're funny, space octopus.
Peter: I think we're getting off track. What did we do today, to protect our environment?
Stan: Nothing. That's all hippie crap.
Peter: What?
Roger: Yeah, Earth is pretty doomed as it is. Trying to fix it is a lost cause.
Stan: Besides, oil factories may destroy nature, but they help fuel nature's more successful older brother, urban cities.
Roger: Down with recycling! Up with not recycling!
Peter: Jeez! Is anyone here NOT against recycling?
Stewie: Me.
Peter: Oh, thank God. I knew my son would pull through.
Stewie: Actually, it's just that I don't care about it.
Peter: Oh, come on! This is our planet we're talking about. None of you did anything to keep the land we live and breathe on clean?
Rallo: I recycled a banana peel.


Stan: So, men. What's on the agenda for the day?
Rallo: Let's talk about football!
Peter: Ah, yes. The sport named after two random parts of the body.
Stewie: I've never been a fan of football.
Rallo: You what!?
Stewie: Yeah. Sports. It's just never been my cup of tea.
Rallo: Get out of here, you blasphemer!
Roger: Jeez, Stewie, I assumed you'd love football. You know, judging by the shape of your head.
Stan: Ooooooh! Owned! Owned! He just got owned!
Stewie: Oh, shut up. You're one to talk. Your head looks like you have a brain tumor, and your head looks like a portrait of a guy, where the paint got smeared.
Stan: Lame.
Roger: Yeah. Lousy comeback, even if his head does look like God had arthritis, when creating him.
Stan: Hey, let's stick with dissing Stewie, here, huh?
Cleveland: How about we stick to the topic at hand instead?
Rallo: Yeah. Who do you think is gunna win the upcoming game?
Peter: I bet my money on The Harlem Globetrotters.
Rallo: The Harlem Globetrotters?
Peter: Yeah, and I bet everyone's favorite mystery gang, will be cheering them on from the sidelines. They owe 'em some support, after all the monsters they've helped them catch.
Rallo: What the hell, you talkin' 'bout, fatass?
Cleveland: The Harlem Globetrotters are basketball players, dumbass.
Peter: Wait, what sport are we talking about?
Roger: Football! Did I ever tell you guys, I played for Green Bay?
Cleveland: Hey, who the hell are you, anyway?
Roger: Roger the alien. You called me a space octopus, last time we were here.
Cleveland: Oh, yeah. How you doing, space octopus?
Roger: I am not a space octopus! There's no such thing as space octopuses!
Stewie: Space octopi.
Roger: Shut up! Can't I just tell my story of being the plucky wideout for Green Bay?
Peter: Nope.


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