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Dr. C and The Women
Dr. C and the Women is an episode of Family Guy.

Synopsis

Cleveland becomes a psychologist who helps Lois, Bonnie, and Kimi with their marital problems. Meanwhile, Meg works in airline security.

Plot

At The Drunken Clam, Joe and Quagmire start to fight over which ocean is heavier until they are calmed down by Cleveland, who's skill leads Peter to suggest he take up a career as a therapist. He councils Mayor West, determining that he is really a psychopath and another gentleman with his relation with his dad. Back home, Lois nags Peter and he suggests that she talk to Cleveland, but when Lois has her session with him, it turns out that Peter is to blame.

Peter has trouble figuring out how he can be the problem until Lois tells him that it is due to his not spending time with her. She tries to teach Peter how to do the laundry and involves herself in his golf game. Fed up with Lois, he considers telling Donna about Cleveland sleeping with a stripper at his bachelor party. When he confronts him with his ultimatum, he sends Cleveland running.

At home, Donna calls Lois about not having seen Cleveland for two days and Peter tries to deny things, but Lois refuses to fall for it and sends him out to find him. At the Mini Mart hoping that he would show up, he provides kids with alcohol and weed. Driving around, they keep circling the mini golf course until Joe allows Peter to stop. Frustrated, they get some help from pop ups that leads them to Cleveland's old Deli, where he turns up. Apologizing, Cleveland is frustrated over not having a job since returning but Peter convinces him to hold on.

Meanwhile, Meg tries to raise money for the prom by selling her Beanie Babies and Quagmire suggests she take a job with the TSA at the airport. On the job, she does a good job taking care of passengers as rudely as possible, in addition, her partner Larry notes that she is the most attractive person there. When she is asked out by Larry, she incurs the wrath of Marla, another agent that has designs on Larry and is challenged to a fight, getting the better of her with an improvised blowtorch from confiscated items, but she vows revenge. Later, Larry confronts her about missing security tubs and finds them in her locker, firing her.

At home at the end of the day, Peter tries to show an interest in how things went with Meg, despite her suspicions that he is only stalling for time or is looking for something to insult her with. But when she starts to talk, he rushes the ending, cutting her off.

Characters

Major Roles

Minor Roles

Quotes

Jerome: Hey, guys. I'd like you to meet my cousin.
Mandawuy: Hello, Jerome's friends. I am Mandawuy Djarrtjuntjun.
Peter: Boy, these African names just keep getting weirder and weirder.
Mandawuy: Oh, it is not African. I come from Australia.
Peter: They have black guys in Australia?
Mandawuy: Actually, I am an aboriginal. I am visiting America to visit my black cousins.
Jerome: I may be black, but my mom's brother, my Uncle Tom-
Peter: Ha.
Jerome: -had what we call "Tasmanian Fever", and really liked bangin' Abbos.
Mandawuy: And my mom married him.
Jerome: 'Cuz you know what they say. Once you go black, you can't go back.
Mandawuy: Not even if you're a boomerang.

Quagmire: Hey, what's going on here?
Meg: Oh, I'm selling my old Beanie Babies to make money for the prom.
Quagmire: That seems optimistic.

Meg: Most people aren't really that nice to me.
[Cutaway gag to a blind person finding Meg with his stick]
Blind Guy: Ugh, gross.

Larry: The worst thing a passenger can do is approach your podium before you tell them to. As bad at those 19 hijackers were, the people we see here every day are much worse.

Lois: Peter, you promised me you would do the dishes.
Peter: Well, I was doing the dishes for a while but they were inexperienced so I ended up having to rub one out.
Lois: Where in the hell did you get the idea that that's what I meant by "doing the dishes".
Peter: From dirty Amelia Badelia.
[Screen shows America Badelia in the room]
Amelia Badelia: [shoves a vacuum up her skirt] Almost done vacuuming the rug.

Peter: Just last night, I made you keep track of all the words I know.
[Cutaway to Peter making Lois keep track of all the words he knows; It's 4:07 A.M. and Lois is extremely tired]
Peter: ... shoehorn ... engine ... football ... walked ... noisy ... blue ... toaster ... over ... asking ... that ... maybe ... did I say "shoehorn"?
Lois: Yes.
Peter: Okay ... Shoehorns.
Lois: [sigh] Peter, please can we stop this? I've got an early doctor's appointment tomorrow.
Peter: Ooh, "early", "doctor", and "tomorrow". Put those on there too.
Lois: Huh, should I also put down "appointment"?
Peter: No, I don't know what that means. Ooh, "means"!

Scott: Whoa, sorry ma'am, we can't let you through security, cuz you're the bomb.
Tyler: Scott! You're not supposed to make jokes like that!

Scott: Oh, that girl is so Muhammad hot.
Tyler: You're playing a dangerous game, Scott!

Peter: Okay, guys. Lois wants me to find Cleveland, and since he eats like 9 candy bars a day, if we wait here at the convenience store, he's bound to show up.
[A group of teenagers show up]
Teen: Hey, can you buy us some beer?
Peter: Uhh, I don't know. I don't think it would be right.
Teen: Ugh, I knew you weren't cool.
Peter: Well, no-now-now hold on a minute.
[Flip transition to the teens now having a bunch of boxes of beer]
Peter: See, this is pretty cool, huh?
Teen: Yeah, I guess but what we could really use is some weed.
Peter: I think that might be over the line.
Teen: [to his friends] See, I told you this guy wasn't cool.
Peter: Well, no-now hold on a minute.
[Flip transition to Peter in court]
Judge: Mr. Griffin, did you or did you not distribute alcohol and marijuana to minors?
Peter: No, your honor. I did not.
Judge: [to the bailiff] Told you this defendant wasn't cool.
Peter: Well, now-now-now hold on a minute.

Larry: I have a duty to this country, and with people like you stealing tubs, how are we ever going to catch Abu Nazir?
Meg: That's not even a real person. That's the terrorist from Homeland and they caught him.
Larry: Meg! After what you told me, I may have forgiven you for stealing the tubs, but you crossed the line, when you spoiled Homeland like that. You're fired. Goodbye, Meg.

Peter: Guys, ... I think we need to embrace the possibility that Cleveland never existed.

Peter: Hey, listen, I-I'm sorry we threatened to blab about your bachelor party. I'd never do that, cuz that'd mean I'd have to talk to Donna and that's-that's just like, ugh.

Peter: Hey, what about you, Meg? What'd you do this week?
Meg: What? So you can make fun of me?
Peter: No, Meg. I'm your father and I'm interested in what my daughter did this week.
Meg: You promise you're not gunna make fun of me?
Peter: Of course, Meg. I care about my family.
Meg: But I-I-I feel like you're drawing this out so ... when you do make fun of me, it'll hurt more.
Peter: What? Well, that hurts, Meg. You know, you can be very hurtful. I'm asking you, please, a-and you don't have to tell me. I wanna know cuz I'm interested in what you did this week. It enhances my life to know how your's is going.
Meg: You promise.
Peter: Okay, well now you owe me an apology.
Meg: I'm sorry. I'm not used to you wanting to know. O-Of course, I'd love to tell you what happened.
Peter: Then by all means, I-it's-it's just ... upsetting when you thumb your nose at the family but I love you and I'm looking forward to hearing what you have to say. Please, I'd like to hear.
Meg: Oh, okay. Well, this is actually kind of funny. I joined the TSA-
[Immediate cut to credits, cutting Meg off; Meg sticks her head up on screen]
Meg: What the hell!?
[Peter sticks his head up on screen]
Peter: You ran out of time, disbelieving me. The show's over now.
Meg: Oh come on! Really?
Peter: See, Meg? If you'd have just told me from the start, you wouldn't have been cut off.

Trivia

  • This episode is presented in the format of a pop-up video episode, in that it features a bunch of pop-ups that give out interesting fun facts about the show, most of which are completely fictional. This episode's cold opening is the typical Pop-Up video intro, which is also featured before every commercial break.
  • Pop-Ups:
    • Family Guy is created by this douchebag. [with a picture of Seth McFarlane]
    • The same guy who made American Dad.
    • American Dad being a carbon copy of Family Guy.
    • And Family Guy is a rip-off of The Simpsons.
    • The Simpsons was loosely based on The Flintstones.
    • The Flintstones drew inspiration from The Honeymooners.
    • That's as far back as history has traced this string of plagiarism.
    • "The Drunken Clam" is actually a real Growler USA in Cranston, Rhode Island.
    • They're always allowed to film here, cuz it's a Growler USA, so nobody ever goes to it.
    • Not cousins in real life. [arrows pointing to Jerome and Mandawuy]
    • In fact, they're husbands.
    • That's right. Jerome's actor is gay.
    • You'll be learning a lot of these kinds of things in this episode.
    • In real life, "Quagmire's" favorite ocean is actually The Indian Ocean.
    • The Pacific Ocean is just his fifth favorite ocean.
    • Fun Fact: The Atlantic Ocean is 27,841 feet deep.
    • Check this out.
    • Full. [arrow pointing to Quagmire's beer mug of Quagmire talking.]
    • Empty. [arrow pointing to Quagmire's beer mug in the next shot of Cleveland talking. It's left intentionally empty now, making a joke on continuity errors in TV shows.]
    • Full Again. [arrow pointing to Quagmire's full beer mug in the next shot of Quagmire talking]
    • Empty Again. [arrow pointing to Quagmire's empty beer mug in the next shot of Cleveland talking]
    • Aaand, Full Again. [arrow pointing to Quagmire's full beer mug in the next shot of Quagmire and Joe talking]
    • I'd make a "glass half full" joke but I doubt it'll land.
  • It's revealed that Jerome has an Australian Aboriginal cousin named Mandawuy Djarrtjuntjun.
  • Quagmire's favorite ocean is the Pacific Ocean. Joe's favorite ocean is the Atlantic Ocean.
  • Cleveland is $117,000 in debt.
  • Cleveland had sex with a stripper at his bachelor party, before marrying Donna.
  • Brian Griffin does not appear in this episode, only being seen in a picture in one of the pop-ups, which references to his absence.

Cultural References

  • The title of this episode is a pun on "Dr. T and the Women".
  • This episode's pop-up gimmick is a reference to the VH1 TV show, Pop-Up Video.
  • The plot of this episode is similar to the plot of the The Cleveland Show episode, "Here Comes the Bribe".

Continuity

  • One of the pop-ups references to Brian's death in the episode "Life of Brian", which created a seasonal story arc and how fans of the show went insane when it happened.

Deleted Scenes

  • Outback Steakhouse commercial.
  • Quagmire untwists Joe's leg after the fight.
  • Peter saying that Cleveland has pretty lips.
  • Cleveland says the four or five catchphrases of psychology.
  • Quagmire tells Cleveland that he hasn't gotten a job since he moved back into Quahog.
  • Cutaway to Peter telling which guys in jeans commercials beat their wives.
  • Mayor Adam West goes to Cleveland as a psychologist.
  • Larry says that everyone has to wear their dad's pants.
  • Doc Martens euthanizing patients to put lesbian shoes on their corpses.
  • Mayor Adam West confesses to killing people with ducks on his feet.
  • Peter plays on his phone in the bathroom.
  • Lois explaining the golf thing before she does it.
  • Peter, Quagmire, and Joe explain to each other what Cleveland made them do with their wives.
  • Quagmire mentioning how they threw bread at Cleveland at his bachelor party.
  • Joe mentions Cleveland wearing briefs under his boxers.
  • Joe saying he's going to play locomotive on the flute, while Cleveland runs.
  • Major League Baseball with a distracting ugly guy in the audience.
  • Meg finding a piece of metal in her leg.
  • Cutaway to a cop riding a segway.
  • Peter passing by the mini-golf course three times, while looking for Cleveland.
  • Larry tells Meg that she reminds people of their belts.
  • Peter getting sick from the bad egg salad and trying to drink sour milk.
  • Peter telling Cleveland that he doesn't have a job.
  • Peter mistaking Joe's job for a make-a-wish thing.
  • Peter says that Cleveland is his fourth best friend.
  • Peter cuts off Meg, when she tries to tell her story and sings the credits song.
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