Dead Dog Walking is an episode of Family Guy.
- Helen Schlotz
- Connie D'amico
- Elmer Hartman
- Clifford the Big Red Dog
- Samara Morgan (Cameo)
- Glenn Quagmire (Cameo)
- Cleveland Brown (Pictured)
- Consuela De La Morrela (Pictured)
- Lois: Oh, Meg. You have to babysit for Stewie, Saturday.
- Meg: Nope.
- Lois: Okay. Chris, you have to do it.
- Chris: What? That's not fair. I have a party to go to.
- Lois: Sorry, Meg found pictures on your father's computer and she's blackmailing us. She can do what she wants until we get some dirt on her.
- Peter: I didn't know it was supposed to be hard before I took the picture.
- Stewie: You have a pager?
- Chris: Yeah.
- Stewie: You get paged?
- Chris: Yeah, that's how a pager works.
- Stewie: Why don't you just get a phone?
- Chris: Um, you mean one of your government tracking devices? No thanks, I'm using a pager. Oh, you're looking at your steps? No, the government's watching where you're going. It's not nap time, Stewie. Wake up.
- Government Official #1: Okay, Stewie's going to the party.
- Government Official #2: Yeah, but where's Chris going?
- Government Official #1: I have no idea. He's completely off the grid!
- Government Official #2: Dammit! He can't hide forever!
- [The government officials look at a screen, which tracks everybody except for Chris]
- Government Official #2: Where are you?
- Stewie: I see we're smoking.
- Teenager: We're not smoking, we're vaping.
- Stewie: What's the difference?
- Teenager: Smoking is for losers. Vaping is for douchebags.
- Brian: I'm a dog. I can hear everything. By the way, the Stranger Things monster just farted.
- [Cutaway to Hal the Demogorgon in The Upside Down]
- Hal: Whoo! Must have been that fat chick I ate.
- Chris: You're smoking the vape pen?!
- Lois: No, I'm smoking a real cigarette like mothers are supposed to do.
- Chris: You're such a hypocrite! At least vaping is healthy!
- Lois: Don't be an idiot! Vaping is just as bad and you look like a douchebag!
- Chris: No, I don't! I look cool.
- Lois: [hands Chris the vape pen] Go ahead. Hold it to your mouth.
- [She takes a picture, then shows him the picture of him vaping with a stupid grin]
- Chris: Oh, my God! I'm a douchebag!
- [Brian gets put in a cage at the pound]
- Brian: Jess is having me put down!? Oh my God! This can't be happening!
- [A rabid Clifford the Big Red Dog, is shown in the cage next to him]
- Clifford: Did you also eat a kid?
- Brian: I'm warning you, if you kill me the internet's gonna freak out.
- Peter: When is Brian coming back?
- Jess: Oh, never. I'm having him euthanized.
- Peter: Euthanized!? Oh my God!
- [Peter hurries to his car and speeds down the road]
- Peter: Come on, come on!
- [Peter rushes into a library and looks through a dictionary]
- Peter: Euthanize ... Euthanize ... Euthanize.
- Lois: Well, Brian, I'm sorry that Jess died during the commercial break.
- Meg: [to Lois] You're such a bitch.
- Peter: She's a bitch? Meg, you said you wouldn't tell Stewie's secret!
- Chris: Stewie, you told dad?
- Stewie: I had to get it off my chest. I didn't think he'd understand me.
- Peter: I understand pieces now and then.
- This episode directly continues and resolves the events of "The Five Day Marriage".
- Lois' Instagram account name is "DaughtryMom". This is a reference to a joke from "Chris Has Got a Date, Date, Date, Date, Date", where she said she was a fan of Daughtry.
- Brian told his euthanizer that if he killed him, the internet would freak out. This is a reference to the internet freaking out over Brian's death in "Life of Brian".
- The title is a pun on "Dead Man Walking".
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