Christopher Cross Griffin
Peter Griffin (father)
"God DAMN! I just want to bone a motherfucking Slime Girl!"
"Trending on R/Slimegirls"
Christopher "Chris" Cross Griffin (born February 8th, 1986) is one of the two tetartagonists (alongside Meg) of Family Guy. He is the son of Peter Griffin and Lois Griffin and middle child of the family, with Meg Griffin and Stewie Griffin being his older sister and younger brother, respectively.
Christopher Cross Griffin was born in Quahog, Rhode Island, as the second of three children, born of Peter Griffin and Lois Griffin. Chris was born, pretty obese as he was so fat, Lois had to try extra hard just to squeeze him out of her vagina. After he was born, he had left her birth canal, way wider than it was before.
Unlike with Meg, Peter and Lois loved Chris when he was born and treated him with all the love and care that parents would give to a child.
When Chris grew older, it was shown that he began to exhibit stupidity, dim-wittedness, and even retarded traits. Concerned, his parents had him tested to see if he had any mental illnesses, but all the tests showed that he did not have any known mental disorders, meaning that his dumb behavior is simply done out of his own stupidity. This stupidity was also thought to have been a genetic trait passed down to him by Peter, but since it didn't affect Meg and Stewie, it was concluded that the simple answer is that Chris is stupid.
Chris went to middle school at Buddy Cianci Jr. High School for the first four seasons of the show. Since every season is presumably a year, this would mean that Chris went to middle school, a level with three grades, for four years. Chris is stupid, so he might have been held back a year.
Chris went to high school at James Woods Regional High School, starting with season 5, onwards. High school is a lot harder on Chris than middle school, not only academically, but also socially. Chris was treated like a social outcast a lot in the show, and is made fun of and bullied for being overweight. He didn't fit in with any of the popular kids, specific cliques, or even the normal kids. So, he had to spend his time with the unpopular kids, which would be kids such as Neil Goldman, Friend #1, Friend #2, Jake Tucker, and Cleveland Jr. Although he is not as unpopular as his sister, Meg, he is dangerously close, which is why he needs to try his best to stay where he is and not sink any deeper.
Chris is an overweight teenage boy with long, shaggy blond hair and medium skin. He wears a blue t-shirt, black sweatpants, white sneakers with red stripes and an orange baseball cap with black on the back. His face looks similar his father's, having the same kind of eyes, nose and chin. In his early days, he wore earrings.
Chris is the sort of person who greets every day with a smile and enthusiasm. People often think of Chris as a younger version of his father, but he possesses more good qualities, such as being cheerful, kindhearted and intelligent, well-known for having a specific knowledge about TV shows, films, actors, actresses, tropes, techniques to making a film good or bad, etc. Despite this factor, Chris can be viewed as naive, being unaware of the fact that his fun personality has put him at the top of the popularity list at James Woods Regional High School, along with his sister Meg's rival Connie D'Amico, and her friends, Dustin and Gina. Chris mainly thrives on getting good grades, pulling off daring pranks, helping out his fellow classmates with his newfound social standing (and social know-how), and a lot of masturbation. He has masturbated so heavily that according to Lois, he has somehow made the washing machine pregnant.
He also has had numerous girlfriends throughout the series' run. Despite all this, he has had his share of trouble, such as unrequited crushes, insecurity about his weight and, as a running gag, constantly believing that there is an "Evil Monkey" in his bedroom closet. He has all sorts of interests, including comic books, playing the electric guitar, drawing, Mexican food and sports, particularly baseball. Chris is arguably the most diverse character in the franchise along with Stewie and Brian, and even has the unusual ability for a teenager to move throughout different social cliques at school without showing prejudice of any sort. Overall, Chris is the most fun-loving member of the Griffin family who is definitely NOT like other boys his age and hopes that the best years of his life will always be with him, as far as his family and friends are concerned.
Herbert the Pervert is a pedophile, who generally stalks Chris. Chris is stupidly oblivious to the fact that Herbert is trying to rape him, and he thinks he's just a good friend. Chris calls him "Mr. Herbert". Thankfully, Herbert has yet to molest Chris, and he hopefully never will, but Chris does get sexually harassed by him a lot.
Chris had an evil monkey, who lived in his closet. The monkey has given Chris nightmares, and has scared him, because he kept jumping out of his closet, and pointing at him, making an angry face The monkey finally left in "Hannah Banana", where it was revealed, he was actually a nice guy.
Chris is friends with Neil.
Chris is friends with Junior.
Chris is friends with Jake.
Chris has appeared in every episode, except for the following:
- I Take Thee Quagmire
- Love, Blactually
- Brian and Stewie
- The Hand That Rocks the Wheelchair
- Mr. and Mrs. Stewie (Voice Only)
- Welcome Back, Carter
- Brian is a Bad Father
- Scammed Yankees
- The Woof of Wall Street
- The Dating Game
- Send in Stewie, Please
- Chris' full name, Christopher Cross Griffin, is an homage to the singer-songwriter who goes by the same name.
- Chris' birthday is February 8th as according to "German Guy", which is also Seth Green's birthday.
- Chris is the only blond in the Griffin Family. This hair color doesn't belong to either his mother or his father. The reason for this is because in the original pilot, Lois was intended to be blonde, before they changed it to red, and Chris' hair stayed the same color.
- He was called an elephant child in a newspaper article in "He's Too Sexy for His Fat" when he was born due to his enormous size.
- Chris is secretly a brony and a furry, who finds the ponies from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, especially Rainbow Dash to be sexually arousing.
- Peter claims that Chris has Crohn's Disease in "Underage Peter".
- His star sign is Aquarius.