|Brian in Love|
|Season 1, Episode 16|
|Air date||May 16, 1999|
The King is Dead
Chitty Chitty Death Bang
Pee puddles keep appearing all over the floor and everyone suspects it's Stewie, when it's really Brian.
Lois is upset that Stewie has wet the carpet in the living room. Stewie emphatically denies this, but Lois and Peter are convinced that it's a sign that Stewie is ready to potty train. However, it's actually Brian who's wetting the house, and he tries to clean up another accident that night.
After a failed attempt by Peter at getting Stewie to use the toilet, the family goes to the supermarket to buy groceries. In the checkout line, Brian has another accident, revealing that Stewie is innocent. This leads to Brian going to see Dr. Bruce Kaplan, a psychiatrist. The doctor decides Brian is having a mid-life crisis, so Brian goes traveling and exploring.
Brian feels better, but shortly after returning, Stewie frames Brian by peeing all over the living room. Brian is blamed and returns to Dr. Kaplan to find out why this is still happening. After revealing that his last accident happened after watching Lois and Peter have a water fight while washing the car, Dr. Kaplan causes Brian to admit to himself that he is in love with Lois. Later Brian sits next to her on the couch watching the news and "tries" to crack a joke, later to find out Stewie was watching the whole time and blackmails him for it.
Brian and Lois discuss the situation and decide to just remain friends. Peter, who is unaware that Brian's love is Lois, conjectures that Brian's beloved would "probably end up with some idiot." The action moves to the Municipal Golf Course, where Peter proves himself to be the idiot in question.
- Mr. Rogers
- George Jetson
- Jane Jetson
- Elroy Jetson
- Charles Lindbergh
- Anne Morrow Lindbergh
- Charles Lindbergh Jr.
- Bob Barker
- Tom Tucker
- Diane Simmons
- Tricia Takanawa
- Dean Koontz
- Jake Tucker
- Glenn Quagmire (Cameo)
- Angus Griffin (Cameo)
- Cleveland Brown (Non-Speaking Cameo)
- Joe Swanson (Non-Speaking Cameo)
- Amelia Earhart (Non-Speaking Cameo)
- Snoopy (Non-Speaking Cameo)
- Judy Isaacs (Non-Speaking Cameo)
- Glenn Isaacs (Non-Speaking Cameo)
- Dan Rather (Non-Speaking Cameo; Pictured; Live-Action)
- Stephen King (Mentioned)
- Stacy Tucker (Mentioned)
- Stewie: How ironic. "Roger". It almost rhymes with "Eliminate"!
- Lois: Stewie, are you upset because you went wee wee on the carpet?
- [Stewie pauses]
- Stewie: [turns to Lois] What did you just say?
- [Peter enters]
- Peter: Hey, Lois I-[sniffs] Hey, did you pee in here?
- Stewie: [to Peter] In a moment! [to Lois] What did you just say?
- Lois: It's Stewie. He peed on the carpet.
- Peter: Do I ... do I hit him?
- Stewie: Bend down, mother.
- Lois: [bending down] Yes, honey?
- [Stewie slaps his mother with a rubber glove]
- Stewie: How dare you sully my good name by spreading your slanderous filth!?
- Lois: Stewie, no hitting.
- Bob Barker: This is Bob Barker, reminding you to help control the pet population. Have your pet, spayed or neutered.
- Brian: Oh, just die already.
- [Meg smells Brian's pee]
- Meg: [scoff] God, it's smells gross!
- Brian: Well, princess. I don't see anyone dabbing yours behind their ears.
- Chris: [referring to his pee] Mine smells like soda.
- Peter: Come on, Stewie. Don't you wanna pee in the toilet like a big boy?
- Stewie: No!
- Peter: I remember when I learned to use a potty all by myself. I was so proud.
- [Flashback to Peter as a toddler; Camera pans out to reveal that this is actually a picture on the wall and this is taking place in present time; Full-grown adult Peter comes out of the bathroom]
- Peter: Hey, Lois! I did it!
- Peter: Holy, crap! Brian took a whizz!
- Stewie: So, it's been you all along!
- Meg: So, I guess it wasn't Stewie's pee! It was Brian's!
- Chris: Oh, that's a relief. For a minute there, I thought you were gunna say it was mine.
- Brian: Okay, look. So, maybe this isn't where I thought I was gunna be at 7 years old.
- Tricia: Tom, I'm standing in the bedroom of Judy and Glenn Isaacs. 10 years married and still in love. What's their secret? Judy has an inoperable brain tumor, the size of my fist, causing her to mistake Glenn for someone attractive and brain tumors just happen to be Glenn's fetish.
- Brian: My therapist thinks he's figured out what my problem is.
- Peter: Aw, yeah? What does Sigmund Fraud think it is?
- Brian: He uh, he thinks I'm in love.
- Peter: Oh my God ... YOU CAN TALK!
- [long pause with Peter looking at Brian in shock and Brian looking at Peter in seriousness]
- Brian: Nevermind.
- Quagmire: I've never had a Spanish chick before. Olay!
- Meg: Then Brittany and Amber were like "Let's go to the mall." and I was like "Okay, I'll go to the mall." But then Amber wasn't gunna go, so I went to the mall and you're not gunna believe it. They both showed up!
- Peter: Uh, hold on, Meg, Meg, um, I'm sorry. That-That is a really boring story.
- Peter: I haven't been this bored since that stupid drive-in movie.
- [Cutaway to Peter at the drive-in movie theater, with the car facing the wrong way]
- Peter: This sucks! It's just been the same night sky for like, half an hour!
- Peter: Whoa! You're like the Arnold Palmer of golf!
- Peter: Hey. Hey, whatever happened to your lady friend?
- Brian: We decided to stay good friends. I found out that there are a lot of different kinds of love and ours was perfect the way it was.
- Peter: So she dumped you, huh? Ah, to Hell with her. She'll probably end up with some idiot.
- Brian starts going to Dr. Kaplan for psychological help.
- Brian learns that he's in love with Lois. Lois becomes aware of this and without explicitly telling each other (at first), they both mutually agree to keep it a secret and hide their feelings away, so they can maintain their friendship and not make anything awkward.
- The only other person to know about this secret relationship is Stewie.
- Quagmire has sex with Tricia.
- Quagmire mistakes Tricia for a Mexican.
- It's revealed that Tom Tucker is married to a woman named Stacy, who is the step-mother of Jake Tucker. Jake's real mother is still unknown.
- Stewie has a dream about killing the titular character from Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood.
- The TV is turned on to The Jetsons.
- Brian reads Jon Krakauer's Into Thin Air.
- A cutaway jokes about the Lindbergh kidnapping, suggesting that the baby was flushed down the toilet and his parents faked the story that he was kidnapped. Amelia Earhart's mysterious disappearance was also referenced, being hinted that she was a witness and Charles Lindberg was responsible for her going away.
- Chris and Brian watch The Price is Right.
- Brian does a cutaway about the movie, "Logan's Run".
- Snoopy from Peanuts appears in the Logan's Run cutaway.