Brian Griffin's Douchey Behavior is the douchey behavior of Brian Griffin. This is a page, covering all of the character traits about Brian that make him a complete and total douchebag. At the beginning of the series, Brian was shown to be a pretty nice guy. Only his positive traits were dwelt upon. However, as the series progressed, Brian went through some character development and started to express some very negative sides to his personality. Season 4 is probably a good place to pinpoint where this first began. He started to show that he was pretty egotistical, caring much for himself and little for others. We got established with the fact that Brian was probably the smartest person in the house, but we had a few scenes where Brian was shown to be kind of lacking in areas of knowledge, and that he pretended to know what he was talking about when he dealt with those topics. These were all just minor character flaws that were excusable, due to him having redeeming qualities. However, starting with season 9 (when the show hit seasonal rot), the writers began to Flanderize Brian, and completely stripped him of all redeeming qualities and turned him into a class A douchebag.

List of reasons why Brian is a douche

  1. His Egotism: Brian sees himself as this highly brilliant, young mind with a lot of bright ideas relating to things such as ethics, politics, emotions, poetry, and especially writing. In fact, he basically sees himself as a genius. And of course, he doesn't keep this to himself. He has to go around, spewing his high opinions of himself in everyone's faces, and needs everyone to acknowledge how amazing he is. His already massive ego feeds off of other people's attention which only inflated it even more.
  2. He thinks he knows everything: He tries to act like a genius, and talks all big and tall, as if he knows everything he's talking about, but sometimes, he knows absolutely nothing about the subject matter and just pretends he does in order to sound smart. He mainly hangs out with a bunch of morons, so he generally gets away with it, but if he ever talks that way to Lois or Stewie, he'll very likely get called out on his stupidity.
  3. He has no respect for Peter: Peter saved Brian from a homeless life under the highway, allowed him to live in his house, and pays to keep him well fed and cared for, but he shows no gratitude or sign of thanks toward him for it. Instead, Brian repays Peter by being condescending toward his lifestyle and making sarcastic remarks about his antics. Brian is too much of a lazy slacker to get a job of his own, so Peter has to use his money to pay for him, which is certainly not easy, especially for someone like Peter. Over the series, Peter went through a gap of unemployment twice and being as low-level as he is at his current job, he isn't exactly raking in dough. Brian wastes Peter's money on his own things, such as his Prius, his laptop, his vast collection of books, and random things like glasses and mugs that make him look smart. It can be argued that Peter wastes his money on stuff like The Petercopter, a drawbridge and moat for the front door, a space shuttle, etc., but what makes this excusable is that he uses his own money for it.
  4. He hits on Lois: Speaking of Brian's treatment toward Peter, Brian also manages to disrespect him by disrespecting his wife. Brian constantly flirts with Lois and tries to do things to make himself look attractive in front of her. In the episode "Play it Again, Brian", he went as far as to attempt to make out with her. He's made claims, saying that Peter doesn't deserve Lois and that she's too good for him, which is totally inappropriate of him, especially given how nice Peter is to him.
  5. His Chauvinism: Brian doesn't give a crap about the feelings of women. He only sees them as sexual objects and believes that's all they're good for. He goes up to human girls at the bar and acts as if he sees them as smart, beautiful women, in order to start a relationship with them. However, he truly only wants them for sex.
  6. His Pickup Lines: Brian uses a bunch of shitty pickup lines to pick up women. Most of which are just him lying about himself and making himself out to be this ridiculously amazing, successful person. He does stuff like claim to be a college professor, and being the friend of Barack Obama, and finding a cure for cancer, and all sorts of stupid stuff. He also tries to act all cultured, by quoting random books that he knows nothing about. For instance, he thinks George Elliot was a dude and after reading one page of Middlemarch and just quoted the printing press.
  7. He never works to achieve his goals: He says he wants to become a famous writer, but instead of actually working to achieve his goals, he just says that he's gunna do that and waits around for things to happen. He then sinks into depression occasionally, over the fact that he's gone nowhere in life. I can't just say I wanna climb Mt. Everest and then sit around, scratching my ass for a few hours, and then get back up and say "Why am I not at the summit yet?" Sorry, Bri Guy, but life just doesn't work out that way.
  8. He forces his beliefs onto others: Brian constantly forces his Atheism and liberalism and all sorts of random shit on other people, acting like it's the meaning of life. He complains about religious people constantly forcing their beliefs on other people, when that's exactly what he does.
  9. His treatment of his son: When Brian Griffin was younger, he dated and fucked an underage girl named Tracy Flannigan and ended up impregnating her. When he did, he completely shut himself off from her, refusing any responsibility for the baby, and forcing her to take care of him. 13 years later, he finally came back to The Flannigan Family. His son, now named Dylan had become a total delinquent because his mother, Tracy, just couldn't raise him on her own. Tracy had really let herself go. Now she was this fat, smoking woman, who looked totally ugly. Brian did not love her anymore, proving to have only loved her for her looks. When Brian finally started raising his son, he was completely obnoxious, criticizing Peter and Lois' ways of raising their kids and distancing his ways of raising Dylan from them, acting like he was a better parent than them. Anyway, after a few days, he got rid of him again. About 3 years after that, Dylan got a job as an actor on a Disney sitcom, and Brian came back into his life, not because he cared about him, but because he was trying to cash in on his fame and success. Dylan was able to notice how much of a dick Brian was being and refused to let him go any further.
  10. His Writing:: is shit. Next!
  11. Other Wives: I actually don't know much about this. Apparently, Brian is married to a select group of other women, who he pays no attention to, but I don't think I remember anything like that. The closest thing he has to a wife is Tracy. I bet this is because of his other girlfriends and in that case, just watch "Valentine's Day in Quahog".
  12. Herpes the Love Sore: Arguably his worst appearance in the entire series. He knowingly gave Stewie herpes, by becoming blood brothers with him. How do I know he "knowingly" did this to him? Because Chris also got herpes from him, for doing basically the exact same thing. Maybe Brian just wants the whole world to have herpes. Look, I know the guy I'm about to mention is not a universally adored cartoon reviewer, but The Mysterious Mr. Enter did a nice review of this episode and explained pretty much everything wrong with his performance in this episode and you should probably check his video
    Animated Atrocities -82- "Herpe the Love Sore" -Family Guy-

    Animated Atrocities -82- "Herpe the Love Sore" -Family Guy-

  13. His Hypocrisy: Judges Peter and Stewie for doing shitty things, despite himself being just as guilty of that stuff. Yeah, technically, there's nothing wrong with that, but the thing is, Brian never admits that he does what he does, making this kind of a dick move.
  14. He Can't Apologize:
  15. He's a Bore:
  16. He doesn't try to change:

Quagmire's Rant

In the season 8 episode, "Jerome is the New Black", Quagmire revealed that he hates Brian for all the same reasons certain fans of the show do and roasted him once on a dinner date. It became a classic Family Guy moment, so it's worth watching if you're interested in this. A lot of the things he mentioned apply neatly to this page, but given that this was before Family Guy hit seasonal rot and Brian hit Flanderization, there are a few new things that Brian did, that this list had not covered, and so, this page is going to do that instead.

"You are the worst person I know. You constantly hit on your best friend's wife. The man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard and you're such a sponge. You pay for nothing. You always say 'Oooh, I'll get you later' but later never comes. And what really bothers me, is you pretend you're this deep guy who loves women for their souls, when all you do is date bimbos. Yeah, I date women for their bodies, but at least I'm honest about it. I don't buy them a copy of Catcher in the Rye and then lecture them with some seventh grade interpretation of how Holden Caulfield was some profound intellectual. He wasn't! He was a spoiled brat! And that's why you like him so much, He's you. God, you're pretentious. And you delude yourself by thinking you're some great writer even though you're terrible. You know, I should have known Cheryl Tiegs didn't write me that note. She would've known there's no 'a' in the word 'definite'. And I think what I hate most about you is your textbook liberal agenda, how we should 'legalize pot, man', how big business is crushing the underclass, how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America, well what have you done to help? I work down at the Soup Kitchen, Brian. Never seen you down there. You wanna help? Grab a ladle. And by the way, driving a Prius doesn't make you Jesus Christ. Oh, wait. You don't believe in Jesus Christ or any religion for that matter because "religion is for idiots". Well, who the Hell are you to talk down to anyone?! You failed college twice, which isn't nearly as bad as your failure as a father. How's that son of yours you never see? But you know what? I could forgive all of that. All of it. If you weren't such a bore. That's the worst of it Brian. You're just a big, sad, alcoholic bore." - Glenn Quagmire

Many fans have detected a lot of hypocrisy in Quagmire's rant on Brian.

  • "You constantly hit on your best friend's wife." - Quagmire is always hitting on Lois too, but what sets Brian apart from him is the fact that Peter Griffin is paying to keep Brian pampered and well-fed. If he is really donating his time and personal money to him in order to keep him alive, Brian should at least show him some kind of gratitude. Quagmire, on the other hand, simply lives next door to Peter and lives on his own. Not saying that this doesn't make Quagmire hitting on Lois a good thing, just saying that it's less of a bad thing than when Brian does it.
  • "You pretend you're this deep guy who loves women for their souls, when all you do is date bimbos." - It can be argued that Quagmire is the same way. However, the difference between him and Brian is this. When Quagmire hits on a girl that he wants for sex, he lets the girl know that he only wants them for sex. He makes a gross pickup line, and the girl he hits on, will either reject him or consent. If she consents, she clearly only sees him as a sexual object too, and so, they spend the night together. Since the girls he spends time with are on his level, this is excusable. Brian, on the other hand, is greedy and wants the girl for more than a night, so he makes the girl feel as though he wants a true relationship with him, so he can bang them for a week. So, Brian Griffin manipulates a girl's emotions, makes her feel like she is truly loved by him, and breaks her heart, just to have sex with her. That's the big difference right there. Quagmire may not be living a very pretty lifestyle by doing that, it is pretty sad and stupid, but at least he's living that sad and stupid lifestyle morally.
  • "Your failure as a father." - Your failure as a father. There have been a lot of episodes where Quagmire has impregnated women and was oblivious of the Child's existence. In "Mind the Baby Gap", a girl came up to Quagmire with a baby, and said "Remember me? This is yours now." Quagmire simply passed this kid on to an adoption center. In "Tales of a Third Grade Nothing", Quagmire was shown to have three kids that are currently in school right now, living without a dad. Immediately after he saw those kids, he had unprotected sex with one of the teachers. In "Quagmire's Baby", he had a daughter named Anna Lee, who he tried taking care of, but put her up for adoption by the end of the episode. Okay, fine. I'll give you that. Quagmire has this problem way worse than Brian. But yeah, that's about the only thing though.

Death and Revival of Brian

The writers must be aware of the fans' hatred for Brian, because they went to extremes to exploit it. In the season 12 episode, "Life of Brian", they killed off Brian and left him dead for the entire season, only bringing him back in the season finale, "Christmas Guy". Now, there are many reasons why they could have done this. (1.) Instead of trying to justify Brian's douchiness, they tried doing this as a way of telling the fans "You can't hate Brian anymore, because if you do, something as bad as death can happen to him." as a way of guilt-tripping them into ignoring his douchey behavior. (2.) They decided that Brian's character was irredeemable, and so they made an attempt to get rid of him altogether, and replace him with a much nicer, more likable character, Vinny. However, the amount of fans who still liked Brian was too overwhelming, because a huge shitstorm of controversy surrounded his death. I mean, seriously. People were signing a petition to bring him back, they held mock funerals for him, and one guy even got a tattoo about it. So, they had no choice but to bring him back and abandon a perfectly good new change to a tired old show. (3.) It was all just a big rating trap. This is the most likely of all the reasons. Family Guy needed to do something new in order to keep the fans watching and so, they pulled off this big stunt where they actually made a major change to the series for once. Well, they did, and boy, did it work. Whether this was a way of bringing light upon the Brian fans, or a way of spiting the Brian haters, they succeeded big time and the death and revival of Brian went down in Family Guy history.

Media Publicity

Brian Griffin's Douchey Behavior has been so bad, that it has acquired mention in major outside media outlets, wherein other people have things to say about how horrible of a person Brian is.

The Cleveland Show

In the The Cleveland Show episode, "The Hurricane", part of FOX's "Night of the Hurricane", Junior says that he doesn't believe in God and makes sure to disassociate himself from the "Atheist" label, due to how much of a pretentious, bigoted douchebag Brian was about being an Atheist, back in Quahog.


Top 10 Worst Things Brian Griffin Has Done

Top 10 Worst Things Brian Griffin Has Done

On May 11th, 2019, Watchmojo made a video on the Top 10 Worst Things Brian Griffin Has Done.


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