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Brian Dates a Bitch
Season 16, Episode 22
Air date January 29, 2018
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Brian Dates a Bitch (A.K.A. "Boy (Dog) Meets Girl (Dog)") is the 22nd episode of the sixteenth season of Family Guy and the second Valentine's Day episode. It's the 391st episode, overall.

Synopsis[]

It's Valentine's Day and Brian is depressed to be the family's sole dateless member. Meanwhile, Peter and Lois need to pop Chris' fantasy bubble, that convinces him of the existence of a Valentine's Day character, named Arthur Valentine.

Plot[]

After everyone tells of their Valentine's Day plans, a depressed Brian sits down to eat a box of chocolates and is poisoned. At the Quahog Veterinary Clinic, he meets a female show dog named Ellie. Smitten with her, they go on dates but his physical impulses are rejected as he finds that Ellie is under contract to breed with the winner of a dog show. Enlisting Stewie's help, he enters the competition and wins, but is unable to perform when he finds out that it will be in front of the entire audience so the honor is given to the runner-up.

Meanwhile, Chris looks forward to the arrival of "Arthur Valentine," who was an imaginary persona set up by Peter and Lois when Chris was young and didn't receive any valentines. When he refuses to accept their explanation that he doesn't exist, they decide it is time to kill off Arthur. After running down a dummy in the car, the stunt leaves Chris in a catatonic state so they decide to bring him back. But Peter's appearance as Arthur convinces Chris that he is a zombie and he tries to kill him, forcing Peter to tear off the disguise and have Chris finally realize that Arthur was made up for him. However, both parties are proven wrong as Arthur shows up to give Chris valentines for all the times he missed him, due to getting the wrong address, leaving Chris in immense joy and Peter and Lois in utter confusion.

Since the writers failed to provide a satisfactory ending to the A-Plot of the episode, Billy Joel leads the cast in song with Chris noting that Lois had told him earlier that she killed a jaywalker.

Characters[]

Major Roles[]

Minor Roles[]

Quotes[]

Song[]

Trivia[]

  • Second Valentine's Day special, following "Valentine's Day in Quahog".
  • This marks the first time Brian has had relations with a female dog on the show since Seabreeze Pewterschmidt, from "Screwed the Pooch".
  • Santos and Pasquel appear again, this time, working as valet parkers.
  • Brian and Stewie make a meta joke about how they were supposed to be on one of the planes involved in 9/11, referring to Seth MacFarlane's missing his American Airlines Flight 11 that crashed into the World Trade Center. Seth provides the voices for both characters.
  • Lois tells a catatonic Chris that she killed a jaywalker. This is the first person she's ever told, and he managed to hear her and remember everything she said. Chris blurted this out at the end of the episode, spreading the rumor to everybody.

Cultural References[]

  • Peter comes up with the name "Arthur Valentine", after seeing the children's book, "Arthur's Valentine".
  • Peter and Lois go on a date at a restaurant located on a Native American Reservation, called "Custard's Last Stand". This is a reference to Custer's Last Stand.
  • Meg getting a mail order boyfriend for Valentine's Day is a reference to Russian mail order brides.
  • The name of Meg's mail order boyfriend is "Alexander Feodolovinya". This is a pun on Russian empress, Alexandra Feodorova, more commonly known as "Alix of Hesse".
  • Chris' Native American girlfriend, "Kemo-Therapy" is a pun on "Kemosabe", the nickname of the character, Tonto from The Lone Ranger.