Bigfat

Bigfat is an episode of Family Guy.

Synopsis

Peter loses his memory and becomes a caveman.

Plot

After a dream sequence involving the Smiths from American Dad! and Hank Hill, Quagmire asks the guys to come along with him on a trip to Canada while working on a jungle gym for Stewie after demonstrating that he can read French. Quagmire asks that they lie about where they are going in order to keep the wives from complaining to him about going to strip clubs. On the private luxury plane Quagmire acquires, Peter's stunt involving opening the door causes them to crash in the wilderness. They build shelter and settle in for the night. Thanks to Peter, Quagmire's legs get broken. With Peter the only able-bodied person left he sets out to find help but just after he leaves they find they crashed into a person's back yard. Quagmire worries about Peter but he has already disappeared into the woods.

Two months later they nearly give up the search when signs of Peter start to turn up. The family rushes to where Peter left a doll of Edna Garrett and find him in the bushes, a nonspeaking feral beast. Getting him home, they try to reintroduce him to his life. Videos that Peter made before he became feral backfire when Peter causes a setback, Stewie tries to make the best of things by singing with Peter and Lois awakes to find Peter in the garbage. Quagmire comes over to check on things and finds that they are not working and the family decides to return Peter to the wild to be happy. As Lois and the family cries at his departure, Peter heads off towards the woods but when Meg says goodbye, Peter struggles to tell Meg to shut up and slowly regains his speech.

At home and returned to normal in only a day, Peter announces that Quagmire is taking him to a strip club in Canada where he is surprised by Edna Garrett as a stripper.

Characters

Major Roles

• Peter Griffin
• Lois Griffin
• Chris Griffin
• Meg Griffin
• Stewie Griffin
• Brian Griffin
• Glenn Quagmire
• Joe Swanson

Minor Roles

• Pope XXIV
• Stan Smith
• Francine Smith
• Steve Smith
• Hayley Smith
• Roger Smith
• Klaus Heissler
• Davy Crockett
• John Crockett
• Rebecca Crockett
• Canadian
• Canadian Park Ranger
• Other Canadian Park Ranger
• Inspector Gadget
• Suzanne
• Hank Hill (Cameo)
• Peggy Hill (Cameo)
• Bill Maher (Cameo)
• Hish-Qu-Ten (Cameo)
• Tom Hanks (Cameo)
• Consuela De La Morrela (Cameo)
• Charlotte Rae (Cameo)
• Tom Tucker (Non-Speaking Cameo)
• Death (Non-Speaking Cameo)
• Seamus Levine (Non-Speaking Cameo)
• Phineas and Barnaby (Non-Speaking Cameo)
• Al-Qaeda (Non-Speaking Cameo)
• Wilson (Non-Speaking Cameo)
• Cleveland Brown (Mentioned)
• Liam Hemsworth (Pictured; Live Action)

Songs

• Let's Go Montreal the Way

Quotes

[The Griffins visit The Smiths]

Stan: Hello, neighors.

Peter: Joe, you can walk!

Stan: How do you do? I'm Stan Smith. Please come in.

[The Griffins go into the house]

Francine: Oh, I'm so glad everyone could make it.

[Meg meets Hayley]

Meg: Wow, you know, it's really cool to have another girl my age in the neighborhood.

Hayley: Shut up, Meg.

Meg: She knows my name!

[Stewie and Brian meet Klaus]

Stewie: A little heads up about the neighbor, Quagmire. That guy will have sex with anything. So, you know, tape up your fish holes.

Klaus: Thanks for the tip.

Stewie: Do you pee in that water and then swim in it?

Klaus: Yeah.

Stewie: ... You're aright.

[Chris meets Steve]

Chris: If you had my boobs and I saw you from behind, I would think you were hot.

Steve: [disturbed] Thanks.

Chris: ... And now is when you say the same to me.

[Peter and Lois meets Stan and Francine]

Lois: Wait a minute, Francine? From the Depeche Mode Tour in 1984?

Francine: Oh my God, Lois!?

Stan: You two know each other?

[Lois and Francine laugh]

Francine: [to Stan] No, we don't know each other. [to Lois; whispering] You've ruined me for all men.

[Roger enters]

Roger: Stan, I need $50. They're selling a biopsy of Celine Dion's uterus on Ebay.

Peter: The hell kind of dog is that?

Roger: [points to Meg] I was gunna ask you the same thing.

Stan: Oh, uh, that's our alien, Roger. He lives in our attic but nobody can know ... and don't tell anybody about our attic.

[Peter gets a phone call]

Peter: Hello? ... Oh, hey Quagmire. Hey, you're not gunna believe this. I'm over here with Joe and he's got a space alien, and-

[Stan shoots Peter dead and everyone else screams in terror; Peter wakes up and it was all a dream]

Lois: Peter, wake up! You're having a nightmare.

Peter: Oh! Oh, Lois thank God it was just a dream.

[Hank Hill from King of the Hill enters]

Hank: Hey! Lois, what's that fat man doing in our bed?

[Hank wakes up in his own bed, having had a dream of his own]

Hank: Dammit. I had that reoccurring dream again.

Peggy: The one about the other family?

Hank: Yeah. I always wake up before I can find out if they can understand the baby can talk or not.

---

Peter: Lois says Stewie's been getting a little chunky.

Stewie: Ugh. Everybody's always commenting on my weight. This is why I almost died of anorexia.

[Cutaway gag to Stewie dying of anorexia in the hospital; He looks over at another dying anorexic kid in the next hospital bed over]

Stewie: You ... look ... fat.

---

Peter: Oh, I've always wanted to go to Canada but then South Park went so we couldn't go.

---

[Peter goes into an extremely fancy airplane bathroom]

Peter: Look how fancy this airplane toilet is! They've even got a special map that lets you choose who you wanna dump you poop on.

[Peter looks at the buttons]

Peter: Jeez, the synagogue button is almost worn out.

---

Peter: Oh my God, Joe! There's a man on the wing!

Joe: Peter, there's no man on the wing.

Peter: There is! I saw it!

Joe: Peter, stop being ridiculous.

Peter: I'm telling you! Lift up the shade, there's a man on the wing!

Joe: [sigh] Fine.

[Joe lifts up the shade and sees Peter out there]

Peter: It's me. I'm the man on the wing.

Joe: Peter, how the hell'd you get out there!?

[The emergency exit is open and the plane is in absolute chaos]

Joe: Are you crazy!? Get back in here, Peter!

[The pilot door flies open]

Quagmire: What the hell's going on back there? We're losing altitude!

[Joe grabs Peter and drags him back into the plane]

Quagmire: Hang on you guys! I don't know if I can pull out of this! Giggity!

Peter: Wow, from up here, everything looks so huge and coming right at us.

[The plane crashes in the woods causing a fiery explosion; Peter, Quagmire, and Joe get up, covered in ashes and shrapnel]

Joe: Ugh, what happened? Did we crash?

Quagmire: [mad] Yeah, we crashed. Thanks to Peter.

Peter: Wow ... Still, you know, we saved so much trouble not flying commercial, I think we came out ahead.

Joe: Sure. Drive right up to the plane.

Peter: Exactly. If we went to Logan, that plane wouldn't crash for another hour at least.

[A plane from Logan crashes into a distant mountain and explodes, killing everybody inside instantly]

Peter: Oh, they made pretty good time.

---

Joe: You guys, I think for the time being, we're gunna have to start thinking in terms of survival.

Quagmire: Yeah, we're just gunna have to do what Davy Crockett would do. I mean, that guy killed a bear when he was only three.

[Cutaway gag to Davy Crockett's parents]

Rebecca: Honey, don't you think it's weird that our three year old son is murdering animals?

John: Nonsense, he's a healthy, normal young boy.

[Davy Crockett enters with a bloody raccoon carcass on his head]

Davy: Ma! Pa! I killed my pet raccoon!

Rebecca: [upset and scared] Why. Davy!?

Davy: So, I could have this cool hat and cuz it felt like Heaven, when I was doing it!