This article is about the Season 2 episode. If you're looking for the oddly similarly sounding Season 3's "From Method to Madness", go here.
Between Sanity and Madness | |
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Season 2, Episode 17 | |
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Air date | January 4, 2000 |
Episode Guide | |
Previous Missionary Impossible |
Next To Love and Die in Dixie |
Between Sanity and Madness is the seventeenth episode of the second season of Family Guy. It is the thirty-fifth episode, overall.
Synopsis[]
Francis comes back for another visit and this time, he takes Thelma with him. But when Peter finds out the duo lost their house, he has them come to live with him again to try to have another stab at having some family bonding he never got... if he counts losing his sanity on his parents.
Plot[]
As Peter clocks out from his job at the Happy-Go-Lucky Toy Factory, Peter is told by Mr. Weed that someone left him a voicemail on his message box. When he goes to answer it, it's revealed to be his parents, Francis and Thelma, who tell him they're coming to the house for a surprise visit. Peter, not wanting them to come back seeing how his father made him and his whole family's life a nightmare, rushes home and hurries the family into the car. Unfortunately, while rushing, they accidentally left Stewie home and begrudgingly have to return home and face Francis and Thelma (not that it mattered since Peter left the door unlocked anyways).
Peter tries to immediately get why they've come, and Francis tells Peter he quit his job as the Pope’s special assistant and did some soul searching with Thelma and decided to make amends with Peter. In reality, Francis got fired due to being a nuisance and went with Thelma to gamble in Las Vegas until they lost their money and went to Peter to blackmail him into giving him more money, considering he’d did so in the past. But Peter, seeing through their crap, tells them he’s not giving them money and, fed up with the fact they do this often, decides to just drive them home, but Thelma reveals that their home is gone as she gambled away their loan to their house in an attempt to win a casino game, and asks that they can move into their house for a while. Despite the family - barring Stewie - not wanting anything to do with Peter's parents, Peter still lets them stay, mostly out of still wanting affection from his parents (mostly Francis) and slight emotional manipulation.
While Peter holds hope to them, clearly still wanting approval from his parents, it's clear neither are going to make their stay easier on the Griffin family the same way Francis did, and also that Peter's reattempts of bonding are still being brushed off. After a few days, Peter goes to hang with his friends at Cleveland's Deli to escape, due to Francis stalking Peter at the Drunken Clam and getting in a fistfight with the bar owner, and vents about how much he can't stand his parents and how with the two of them being at his house instead of just one, he might lose his sanity faster and might snap worse. Cleveland decides to advice Peter to put them into a retirement home called Quahog Acres, as he put his father there years back and hasn't heard back from them. Peter accepts the advice and signs them up to be put in a retirement home by Friday, much to Francis and Thelma’s disgust. Wanting to avoid going, the duo decides to find ways to make their lives a living hell enough for Peter to change his mind, from stealing his bank details to buy a statue of Jesus and dragging the family into community service out of their objections, to nailing a sign saying "Home of the Dumbass" and assaulting the family for laughs.
Amazingly, Peter still maintains to keep his cool, saying that they're misunderstood and, if they give them a chance, they might be willing to open up to them. Knowing the denial, Lois tells Peter she knows he's breaking inside and asks him to just let it out on them and tell them how he really feels. Peter declines... just as Francis and Thelma drop their car with him and Lois inside into a lake and lie to the kids that they were put in eternal vacation to become their parents and steal their kids. And when Peter and Lois arrive home to this, Peter loses it and snaps on Francis and Thelma, laying into them with all of the anger he held up during the visit, and announces that instead of putting them into a retirement home, he's flat out kicking them out of his house and breaks off being their son. And a few days later, Peter has grown to be colder to his family; when Lois struggles to believe Peter’s preposterous behavior, Brian explains that Peter has transferred his anger with his parents unto the family: a lot of his loving personality was fueled by his love for his parents, and since he doesn't love them anymore, he lost the love personality. And the family admits that even though they love not having them, they'd rather have Peter happy. So the family looks for Francis and Thelma and find them on the streets homeless. While the two try to hide their predicament, it's clear to them they can't make it out, due to lack of money and failure to keep a job on Francis' end and go to try to make up with Peter. But any attempts are ignored with Peter not bothering to listen to them as he burns their pictures and declares that he'll never love them again.
A despondent Francis and Thelma decide to end it all by jumping off the Holy Christ Church roof. Peter manages to see their announcement beforehand and saves them from death by breaking his fall. When Francis is surprised that Peter bothered to save them despite what he said, Peter tells him that just because he doesn’t like them as much anymore, it doesn’t mean he wants them to kill themselves. Touched by Peter, Francis apologizes and asks for a chance to become a true father to him. Peter forgives him and the two reconcile a new relationship together and work out an agreement where Francis and Thelma go to the retirement home and can come visit anytime - after Peter gleefully torments them with constant exercise as payback.
During the credits, Francis' father shows up at the door, similar to the way Thelma did in "Holy Crap", and wishes to live with the family, prompting them to jump into the car and drive, similarly to the beginning of the episode.
Characters[]
Major Roles[]
- Peter Griffin
- Lois Griffin
- Francis Griffin
- Thelma Griffin
- Meg Griffin
- Stewie Griffin
- Chris Griffin
- Brian Griffin
Minor Roles[]
- The Pope
- Herbert the Pervert
- Jesse
- Glenn Quagmire
- Cleveland Brown
- Joe Swanson
- Bonnie Swanson
- Kevin Swanson
- Tom Tucker
- Connie D'amico
- Horace
- Neil Goldman
- Mr. Weed
- Johnson
- Sarah Bennett
- Father Bob
- Doug
- Scott
- Vern and Johnny
- Principal Sloan
- Mayor Adam West
- Mr. Berler
- Death (Cameo)
- Karen Griffin (Mentioned)
- Josiah Griffin (Voice Only)
Quotes[]
- To view either scripts in PDF form (though recommended the 2024 ver), press the thumbnail.
- Peter: Alright, since you don't normally visit, I feel there's a reason why you came. So fess up!
- Francis: Well, I decided to quit from my job as the Pope's special assistant
- [In a cutaway, we see what really happened, with Francis, being dragged out of a building by a security guard]
- Francis: This is an outrage! You heathens can't fire me! I'm the damn best assistant you got!!
- Security Guard: Sir, you're being fired because you're a nuisance.
- Francis: Nuisance?! I'm the only one who seems to give a crap about this!! And I swear to God, you'll all burn in Helllll!!
- [The security guard tosses Francis onto the sidewalk and walks back inside]
- [End of cutaway]
- Francis: So, I decided to find Thelma, and we went on a little soul searching...
- [In another cutaway, we see what he really meant, with Francis and Thelma in Las Vegas at a roulette table in a casino, completely wasted]
- Francis: (slurring) B- Bet on 7 There's more chance in winning.
- Thelma: (slurring) I'm not gonna bet on 7.
- Francis: Bet- Bet on- Bet on 7.
- Thelma: I don't want to.
- Francis: Bet on 7. You- You gotta-
- Thelma: For God's sake, Fran, I'm not gonna bet on 7, it's an unlucky number!
- [Smash cut to the two outside, with Thelma smoking a cigarette and Francis looking for a bus. The two being both upset]
- Francis: I told you to bet on 7.
- [End of cutaway]
- Francis: And through that, we decided to come back to you to make amends. So how 'bout we all go on a little family outing? My treat
- [Seeing through the shit, Peter gives Francis and Thelma a deadpan look]
- Peter: You're not getting money from me.
- Francis: (sighs) What gave it away?
- [After a long thought]
- Peter: Aw, what the hell? Sure you can crash here. Our house is your house.
- Thelma: Oh Petey, this is really nice of you.
- Francis: We're extremely grateful.
- Peter: [with small spark of hope] R-Really?
- Francis: Ooh, yes. Thank you, God. The fat stinking drunk was finally useful for once. Now, if you excuse me, I'm gonna start nailing crosses on every wall.
- Thelma: And I'll start rummaging through your cabinets like a rat.
- [As the normal Griffin family eats dinner at the dining table, Peter notices Francis and Thelma heading out]
- Peter: Hey ma, dad, you're just in time for dinner.
- Francis: No way, we're leaving to go somewhere else.
- Peter: But... I spent an hour making dinner and saved plates for both of you. I even wrote your names on them.
- [Just as Peter said, he pulled out plates that were literally written with, "Mom" and "Dad" on them]
- Brian: Can I have some money? I'm going to a hotel until they leave.
- Peter: Brian, come on. I swear there's some humanity in them that can make us like them.
- Meg: You're in denial because you still want him to give you that hug, are you?
- Peter: He was close!
- Lois: Peter, it's just gonna be the same disaster as last time.
- Brian: Yeah, especially with Mrs. Smokes-a-Lot.
- [Francis enters the room with a rolled-up newspaper and everybody gasps]
- Francis: Who in this house insulted my wife?!
- Brian: [frightened] Oh, I...I was just picking up on something Meg said. What...what was it? What’d you say, Meg? Something about calling Thelma Mrs. Smokes-a-Lot?
- [Francis angrily begins to approach Meg]
- Meg: Oh, no, I didn't say anything about her. I-I would never. Uh, Chris said something about Grandma, saying about how she looks fat.
- Chris: N-N-No way Grandpa! Uh, I was talking about what Mom said about Grandma, which I completely disagree with.
- Lois: That... that... that wasn't me. Peter was really laying into Thelma about her being fat.
- Brian: Yeah, it was Peter.
- Lois: Definitely Peter.
- Peter: What?!
- Francis: So, you like to insult your mother in my presence?!
- Peter: [whimpers] M-Maybe.
- Francis: Well then. you're AWFUL SON! AN AWFUL, AWFUL SON!
- [Francis smacks Peter with his newspaper repeatedly]
- Peter: Ow! You're hurting me! Stop it, Dad!
- Francis: NO! YOU ASKED FOR THIS! WHAT THE HELL WOULD YOU THINK IT'S ACCEPTABLE TO INSULT YOUR MOTHER LIKE THAT! ARE YOU TRYING TO GET A RISE OUT OF ME?! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, YOU UNGRATEFUL BASTARD?!
- Peter: No, I'm not happy! I'm not! I'm sorry! [breaks down crying]
- Peter: I don't know what to do guys. I barely held my sanity the last time my dad visit, I don't think I'll hold myself for him and my mom.
- Peter: I know. But, they're still my parents. I-I just don't know what to do.
- Cleveland: Peter, why don't you put them in a retirement home? I know a good one called Quahog Acres. We put my father there years back and haven't heard back from him since then. [writes an address] Here's the address.
- [Peter comes in, carrying a pamphlet]
- Peter: Hey ma, dad, listen. When you've got a minute, I want you to take a look at this. It's a place I want to take you on Friday.
- [Thelma grabs the pamphlet]
- Thelma: Sure, Petey. [sees front cover: it reads "Quahog Acres"] Uh, Peter, this is a pamphlet for a retirement home.
- Peter: Yeah. I want to see if your interest in moving into a retirement home. Look in the pamphlet to see the place for yourselves, okay? Hey Meg, come to the kitchen for a sec, eh? I wanna try to teach you how to play cards. [walks off]
- Francis: WHAT?! That boy's way of dealing with us is to throw us in a retirement home?! That's going WAY too far! [growls while straining himself to lift the table, but due to his age cannot] Come on, Thelm, help me flip the table!
- Thelma: Fran Fran, relax. A retirement home can be tons of fun for us. [Looks in the pamphlet] I mean, they got a pool, a billiard table, they even give us our own room for free. And there's such few rules to the facil-
- [Thelma stops her speaking when she finds the rule, no smoking, in the rules. Leaving her with a shocked look on her face. Cut to the kitchen where Peter, Brian and Meg are playing cards]
- Brian: (thinking) If I play the two, he'll probably play the four, but if I play the six, maybe he'll play the nine...
- Peter: (thinking) If I play one of these with the red spots, he'll probably play one of the black spots..
- Meg: (thinking) I never noticed it before that the cards look the same upside-down or right side up...
- [Francis smashes his fist into the kitchen table, causing the three to jump]
- Francis: Where the hell do you get off for putting us in a retirement home?
- Francis: Thelma, don't listen to the boy. We're not going that retirement home.
- Thelma: Oh? So how you planning to convince him not to?
- Francis: Well, in my time working at Pawtucket Mill, I've learned that if you want something, you gotta fight back against the man. One time, when our boss wouldn't give us raises, we laid in our parking spaces as a protest until they gave in. Some maybe if we do the same energy, he'll groan and not let us go there!
- Thelma: Are-Are you sure that's going to work, Fran Fran? I-I-I mean, those types of ways might not play the same.
- Francis: Really? I thought you might be more interested considering you (in a seducing manner) like the thrill of danger.
- Thelma: Well...
- Francis: If we do this, we're gonna get a little kinky.
- Thelma: Ooh, Francis. You know I love reckless men.
- Francis: We're gonna get a little wild!
- Thelma: Oh, *purrs* more! Tell me more!
- Francis: We're gonna get so rough we'll need multiple fans to cool us off!
- Thelma: Francis, I want that! I want that energy!! It was something that I missed from us.
- Francis: How about we start that? Let's do it that thing we did when Peter was a child so loud the family hears it.
- Thelma: Yeah, let's do it on their couch, where they all gather as a family and watch television
- [Meg and Chris scream and run inside in shock]
- Lois: Meg, Chris, what's wrong?
- Meg: We were walking home from school, and... and...
- Chris: Grampa's bought a statue. Words can't describe it.
- Peter: Come on, kids. There's a perfect way for words to describe it
- [Smash cuts to the family outside, with everyone sans Francis and Thelma in shock as it's revealed they bought a statue of Jesus]
- Lois: Oh my god, you're right Chris! Words cannot describe it.
- Peter: [to Francis] Dad, you bought a statue of Jesus?!
- Francis: Yep. Anit it a beauty?
- Brian: Yeah, nothing says ‘Welcome home’ like a statue of a bleeding, half-naked Jew nailed to a piece of wood.
- Lois: How the hell did you even afford this?!
- Francis: Stole Peter's bank details and bought on Ebay.
- Brian: What?! Peter, they just stole from you and what do have to say to this?
- Peter: Well, it's the front yard look... unique compared to others. Besides I don't think it costed much.
- Francis: Yeah, only costed $10,000.
- Peter: [holds back throw up] $10,000.
- Quagmire: Hey, Peter, can you explain why there's a sign that says "Home of the Dumbass" nailed to your house?
- Peter: It's a practical joke my mom and dad are playing on me.
- Joe: Peter, I don't think this is a "practical joke".
- Cleveland: Seems a lot more like an insult at you.
- Brian: Peter, as far as I can see it, you have two options. 1, you continue in your denial, or 2, you acknowledge they need to go and the six of us march us to them and give them a piece of our minds!
- Thelma: Kids, we come to announce that your parents are going on eternal vacation. And as they left, they took us to please look after you three.
- Francis: So, we'll be your new parents!
- Meg: Oh my God.
- Chris: Oh, God no!
- Stewie: Yes! High five! Anyone?... Anyone?
- Brian: Shut it.
- [Francis and Thelma come into the house dressed in tacky 90's clothing]
- Francis: Sup, bs?
- Meg: Oh. My. God.
- Thelma: We just got back hanging with dem "hommies", girl!
- Francis: Doing all the "Tony Hawk-ing" with the dope homeboys.
- Thelma: Getting da new "Bling-Bling"
- Francis: Those kids were the bomb!
- Meg: I think I just threw up in my mouth.
- Chris: That's better than me dying a little inside.
- Thelma: Chili out, Megan.
- Francis: Damn Skippy. It's the 90's!
- Chris: Grandpa, it's 2000. People literally don't say that anymore.
- [Later, a furious Peter and Lois return home, both soaking wet from the pledge in the lake]
- Lois: You still wanna say they're redeemable?
- Peter: They're just acting out. I'm sure what they did was a complete accident.
- Lois: Peter, they drove our car into a lake. With us in it!
- Peter: Yeah, well...
- [As they have their conversation, they hear Meg and Chris in the dining room. Peter and Lois peak in to see his parents and their kids having dinner together like they do]
- Meg: -And then, Grandpa came up to them and whacked them a bible book thirteen times!
- Francis: I guess now those bullies know now not to mess with me!
- Chris: And all my friends think you're hot, Grandma! They can't believe Dad came out of you!
- Peter: Dad? K-Kids?
- Francis: P-Peter! You're back from your eternal vacation! How was it?
- Peter: [twitches his eye and chuckles insanely] How was it? [studders] Ha! How was it?
- [Peter leaves the dining room chuckling insanely and after a short beat comes back screaming with a chair and throws it to the right wall, where it breaks apart and leaves a hole in the wall]
- Francis/Thelma: Ahh!
- Francis: What the hell has gotten into you?
- Peter: SHUT UP! Meg, Chris, take Stewie upstairs and go to your rooms! [to Francis and Thelma] YOU TWO! I WANT TO HAVE A WORD WITH YOU! I've dealt with you two for forty-three years, and not once did I lose it on you. But now, I lost all of my patience on you! Not only have you proven you're horrible parents and grandparents, but I've finally seen what you truly are.
- Francis: Aw, look Thelma. He finally saw me as a righteous Man of God and have come for my forgiveness.
- Peter: No! You're not that way at all! You're the most dishonest, disrespectful, selfish, self-absorbed, ungrateful pricks that I've ever had to experience! I don't even think we've ever had a moment where I can truly, proudly say that you're my parents. You two don't deserve forgiveness for what you've done to me and my family. As far as I can tell, YOU TWO are the sinners, Francis!
- [Lois and Thelma gasped in shock at what Peter called Francis]
- Francis: You-did you call me "Francis"? How dare you!
- Peter: Yeah, I did! Because I'm pissed off at you two and done trying to be nice! I would have done this sooner, but I still had the smallest hope that you would change and treat me and my family with a little bit of respect if we treated you two nicely. But clearly, I was wrong. I was wrong to care about you two. I was wrong to bail you out of jail, Francis. I was wrong to accept in my home twice. And now, I was wrong to even put you two in a retirement home. Because you don't deserve it!
- Thelma: Petey, wha... what are you saying?
- Peter: I'm saying, Thelma, you two being part of my family and my parents is over! You two can forget the damn retirement home, because I'm doing what I should have done, kicking you two out of the house to sleep in filth! Where you two belong.
- Francis: You ungrateful bastard! Raised you for all our lives and that's how you treat us?! Throw us out like trash? You no good piece of-!
- [Peter grabs Francis by his vest and slam him to a wall]
- Peter: Listen you cantankerous horrible excuse for a father! I've accepted you into my house twice, dealt with your shenanigans, got fired from my job thanks to you, beaten up by you - again - for taking a fall for my dog, embarrassed in front of my friends, my co-workers and boss, keep up all night, assaulted in my bed, and nearly DROWNED TO DEATH, and I still gave you chances! Chances that looking back, I've should've stopped giving after your first visit!
- Thelma: Petey, we didn't mean to...
- Peter: Shut up!
- Francis: P-P-Peter, we...
- Peter: [coldly] Shut up. Stop trying to save your asses. It's over. If you have any respect for me left, you would leave. And never. come. back.
- [Around evening the next day Francis walks back to the sidewalk with Thelma waiting for him]
- Thelma: Any luck on the job search going?
- Francis: Nope. Got let go from five jobs today. Half of them wouldn't let me work, the other half allowed me, but fired me due to, and I quote: [pulls out a notice of termination] "cantankerous behavior and general unprofessionalism". Any luck with the casino?
- Thelma: What do you think? Francis, we can't live like this.
- Francis: Well, what are we supposed to do, Thelma? We have no money, neither of us can hold jobs for the life of us.
- Thelma: We have Petey.
- Francis: Not anymore, we don't. We're dead to him.
- Thelma: Fran Fran, he's a good person. If you just go make up to him, he might help us out.
- Francis: But what all the time we spent doing this that will be wasted? Besides, what if he doesn't listen?
- Thelma: Francis, if you don't do something soon, we're going to be on the streets! And you can't have me help because the poor boy won't listen to me. Between you and me, you were the one who gave him the hardest time when you were a child, and as such you are the only one who can get to him.
- Meg: Mom, look! It's Grandpa and Grandma,
- Brian: (sighs) Man, I would enjoy this. So why aren't I?
- Francis: Attention citizens of Quahog. It's I, Francis, and my wife Thelma. You might have seen me around praying and spewing the word of God around. Or as the then-assistant of the Pope. And you might have see Thelma around in casinos in Vegas...
- Person #1: (off-screen) TELL US WHY YOU'RE ON THE ROOF!
- Francis: I'M GETTING TO IT! The point is, I go around acting like I'm the righteous Man of God, but we're not that at all. In fact, that should got to Peter Griffin.
- Person #1: (off-screen) What?
- Thelma: PETER GRIFFIN! He's our son.
- Person #2: Wait, he's your son?
- Francis: Uh, yes?
- Person #1: Y-You two look nothing like him.
- Thelma: Come on, we have some genetics passed on down him. Needs to wear glasses, floaty eyebrows, funny chin...
- Francis: His laugh he does? He got it from me. [does a laugh similar to Peter's, and then pulls a photo of him, Peter and Thelma for the crowd to see] I even have this family picture of us.
- [The crowd gasps]
- Peter: He kept a picture of us?
- Francis: Yeah, that's our boy. An idiot, but a lovable one. He always meant well and would do anything for his family. And the one thing he asked in return was love. And we couldn't do it.
- Thelma: We took him for granted, used him, belittled him, treated him like he was stupid. And now, we've lost him and we're dead to him.
- Francis: So now, heartbroken and having no purpose in life anymore, we will end it all where I hurt Peter the most. Here while taking him to church sessions at six in the morning, except that it's night and I'm not taking him to pray. Peter, if you're seeing this, we're sorry we were hard on you.
- Thelma: Petey... You saved us? Even after all we did to you and your family? But, why?
- Peter: I didn't do it because I cared! I did 'cause it would look bad on my part! They might have thought I did something to you guys and took it out of context, and I might have gone to court, and...and... [looks to see his parents upset and sighs] Aw, crap. Look, I've lost a lot of love for you two, and you two have been living nightmares are quite possibly the most horrible people in Quahog, and I'm not alone in thinking that! But at the end of the day, you're my parents. And I didn't want to see you two throw away your lives.
- Francis: Wow, that type of love was something my own dad never did for me. I picked on for my beliefs when I was younger, and when I tried to kill myself out of depression he just shrugged and abandoned to go to the bar with his friends.
- Peter: How familiar. That reminds me a lot of you. Guess Griffin habits carry over in worse ways.
- Francis: You know, Peter, I'm sorry for how I how I treated you. I can't believe I was so selfish on you. And you're my son! And one of the few people who seems to accept me. Everyone else pushes me out because of my fundamentalism or just being a nuisance. I didn't realize how lucky I was to have you in my life, and now I feel like a big jackass. But if-if you'll give me a chance, I-I'd like to try to change that.
- Peter: But how do I know you won't just hurt me again?
- Francis: You don't. Hell, I don't even know. For all we know, I could go back to my abusive ways, or you become the abuser, or we just fall into chaos. You never know that. But isn't taking a risk better than not having a son?
- Peter: I guess you're right. But you know what? Maybe this also taught us something about why we both hate each other.
- Francis: Really?
- Peter: Yeah, it's us. Think about it. We love each other, we just don't approve some of the things we do that turns into hate. You hate my drinking and constant watching of television, and I hate you're constantly cramping Christianity down our throats. So in essence, we're both terrible in our own ways. I guess what I should say is, Francis, you're a bible-thumping asshole who somehow still have people who love you.
- Francis: And Peter, you're a fat stinky drunk that will most likely never get anywhere good in life.
- Peter/Francis: But you're also my father/son. And you're the only one I'll ever have.
- Francis: So Peter, will you let us be your parents again?
- Peter: Yeah. I'd like that a lot-
- [Francis embraces Peter, catching him off]
- Francis: I love you, son. Don't you ever forget it no matter what I do...
- [Peter, after taking a second to process what Francis said, smiles back and embraces back]
- Peter: I know you do, Dad. I know.
- Thelma: Aww, you finally gave Peter a hug. How does it feel?
- Francis: Feels sweaty and full of guilt.
- Peter: Feels more an awkward hug
- Lois: (laughs) You two look so awful that hug
- Thelma: (laughs) You do!
- [After a small beat of Peter and Francis looking each other, they drag Lois and Thelma into their hug as they resist it]
- Peter: Oh yeah?!
- Thelma: No, don't-Frany!
- Lois: Let go, Peter! Cut it out!
- Francis: Come on! You two asked for it!
- Lois: It's nice that you and your father repaired your relationship.
- Peter: Yeah, he'll probably go back to his crappy ways later, but the important thing from this is that I can now proudly say there's a moment of true love from my dad.
- Brian: Plus, you finally stood up against your parents.
- Meg: Hey Dad, what will happen with Grandpa and Grandma?
- Peter: We came to an agreement. They'll go to the retirement home and are free to visit us anytime... but only once a month, and they have to call in advance. Otherwise, I'm spraying them with the hose.
- Chris: So you're not holding any grudges for the past week?
- Peter: Well, not entirely. I'm having them do a little favor before they'll allowed to go. I think the favor is very cathartic.
- [Smash cuts to the family on the lawn watching as Francis and Thelma return from running the block three times, sweaty and breathing heavily. With Peter blowing a whistle that startles the two and comes in wearing a general uniform]
- Peter: [blows whistle, reenters wearing a camouflage cap] All right, you two! Gimmie ten!
- Francis: (panting) Peter, can we take five please? This has been no fun.
- Peter: You and ma made your own bed, Francis, now you sleep in it. Besides, working for my respect isn't supposed to be fun.
- Thelma: W-why not?
- Peter: Why not? That's Satan talking! You wanna go to that retirement home, don't ya?
- Thelma: (panting) A retirement home would be so bad right now.
- Peter: Now, come on you two, I said down and ten!
- [Francis and Thelma get down and does push-ups]
- Peter: And one-and-two, and one-and-two! Are you enjoying the taste of your own medicine, Dad? One-and-two, and one-and-two!
- [Peter and Francis begin fighting over the latter trying to call his sister Karen]
- Thelma: I think this is as good as its gonna get.
- Lois: At least we can put this whole month behind us.
- Brian: I'll say. This whole month was a trainwreck.
- Chris: And there's no other Griffins to come crash here? 'Cause I don't think I can take more.
- Thelma: Oh, no Chris, it's just us. Though there was Francis' father Josiah, and boy was he harsh to Francis as a child, but I feel like we're not gonna deal with him.
- [A knock is heard at the door]
- Josiah: (off-screen) Peter, Francis, it's me, Josiah! Guess who came to possibly live with you guys?
- Francis: Dad?!
- Peter: Grampa?!
- Thelma: Oh God, no!
- Brian: Oh, come on!
- Francis: Oh, nonononononono! No way in Hell we're going though this again. Everyone! Into the car!
- [They eight Griffins all dashed into the garage and entered the car, where they break through the garage door and drive away]
Song[]
- Why Can't You Love Me? (Extended Version)
- Hello My Baby
Trivia[]
- This is the first episode of Family Guy to air in the 2000's as well as the first episode to air in the 3rd millennium.
- In the retake scene, the off-screen director holds a clapboard with filled in information that could be read:
- Prod.No.: Family Guy (duh)
- Scene: 14
- Take: 2
- Roll: 3
- Date: 9/4/1999
- Prod.Co: 2ACX17
- Director: Gavin Dell (director of said episode)
- This is the first episode to mention (or in this cause imply) Chris' masturbation habits.
- Peter tries out a new recipe for jambalaya.
- On the cutaway showing John Goodman eating Thanksgiving dinner while his family starves, there are two children at the table. In real life, John Goodman has one child.
- The episode is the first mention of Peter's sister Karen Griffin.
Continuity[]
Extended Scenes from DVD[]
- The DVD version of this episode includes a few extra scenes that according to the commentary were cut due to time constraints:
- As Francis shows the family a statue of a crucifix he bought, Brian quips “Yeah, nothing says ‘Welcome home’ like a statue of a bleeding, half-naked Jew nailed to a piece of wood.” which was cut from the episode due to religious sensitivities.
- A cut song about Peter singing about him feeling bummed his parents can't give him love
- A few extra scenes of Francis and Thelma bonding with Chris and Meg. With Francis taking Chris to the Quahog Zoo and Drunken Clam while Thelma takes Meg to look a female display.
- A scene during the night where the two question if Peter would get upset at them and morality.
- The final nail in the coffin for how Francis and Thelma got caught. In TV, it was through a family dinner whilst the DVD version had a wild house party be the final straw.
- Scenes with Francis and Thelma failing to survive on the streets.
Season 2 | ||||||||
#01 | Road to Rhode Island | #02 | I Am Peter, Hear Me Roar | #03 | Dammit Janet! | |||
#04 | Running Mates | #05 | Screwed the Pooch | #06 | If I'm Dyin', I'm Lyin' | |||
#07 | Peter Griffin: Husband, Father, ... Brother? | #08 | Let's All Go to the Hop | #09 | Employee for Fire | |||
#10 | He's Too Sexy For His Fat | #11 | Fore Father | #12 | The Kiss Seen Around the World | |||
#13 | Good Ol' Fargy Love | #14 | Neighbor Pains | #15 | The Story On Page One | |||
#16 | Missionary Impossible | #17 | Between Sanity and Madness | #18 | To Love and Die in Dixie | |||
#19 | Lethal Weapons | #20 | Power Over Peter | #21 | When You Wish Upon a Weinstein | |||
#22 | The Guyfathers | #23 | The Thin White Line |