All I Want for Christmas.jpg

All I Really Want for Christmas is a musical number sung by The Griffin Family and various other residents of Quahog in "Road to the North Pole".

Lyrics

Peter: Jessica Biel and Megan Fox
Wearin' nothin' but their socks
Is all I really want for Christmas this year.
Brian: Well, that's just not practical.
Lois: Spending a week in Mexico
With some black guys and some blow
Is all I really want for Christmas this year.
Peter: Aw, that sounds terrific. How about you, kids?
Chris: I would like a pair of skates,
Then I'd go out skating,
But I really don't know how to skate.
Ha-ha!
Meg: I want a Lexus all in pink
And a dad who doesn't drink.
Peter: Oh, and that reminds me, twelve kegs of beer.
The Griffins (except Brian): All these happy wishes
And lots of Christmas cheer
Is all I really want this year.
Brian (Speaking): Santa's got his work cut out for him.
Peter (Speaking): Oh, we ain't even gotten started yet.
Lois: I wanna tour the Spanish coast
Peter: Lunch with Michael Landon's ghost
Peter/Lois: Is all I really want for Christmas this year.
Lois (Speaking): Wait, what?
Peter (Speaking): Forget it. Keep goin'.
Chris: Jennifer Garner in my bed
Meg: Softer voices in my head
Chris/Meg: Is all I really want for Christmas this year.
Stewie: Yellow cake uranium.
Never mind the reason.
Also Chutes and Ladders and a ball.
[laughs]
Brian: Doesn't this seem like too much stuff?
Peter: Suck my dick. It's not enough!
Stewie: Why don't you go out and chase cars, you queer!
Brian (Speaking): Look who's talking.
The Griffins: All these happy wishes
And lots of Christmas cheer
Is all I really want this year.
Brian (Speaking): I'm just saying it seems a bit excessive.
Lois (Speaking): Oh, get off your soapbox, Brian, it's Christmas.
Peter (Speaking): And Christmas is about gettin'. Everyone in town knows that.
Quagmire: Japanese girls with no restraint
Just to choke me till I faint
Is all I really want for Christmas this year.
Quagmire (Speaking): Ooh, giggity!
Bonnie: Platinum-plated silverware
Joe: Just one day when kids don't stare
Bonnie/Joe: Is all I really want for Christmas this year.
Mort: If you put a Christmas tree
In the public airport,
I will go to court and sue your ass!
Mort (Speaking): Happy Hanukkah!
Mayor Adam West: Wouldn't I love a Tinkertoy?
Herbert: And a little drummer boy.
He can either tap his drum or my rear.
Mayor Adam West/Herbert/Mort: All these happy wishes
And lots of Christmas cheer (Mort says "Hanukkah")
Is all I really want this year.
Tom Tucker: I want a golden mustache comb.
Joyce Kinney: And some spermicidal foam.
Tom/Joyce: That's all I really want for Christmas this year.
Carter: I want a brand new pitching wedge.
Consuela: I would like more Lemon Pledge.
Carter/Consuela: That's all I really want for Christmas this year.
Bruce: I just want a wedding ring
From someone named Jeffrey.
Jillian: I just want some colored Easter eggs.
Carl: I want a Blu-ray of The Wiz.
Tomik: We don't know what "Christmas" is.
Bellgarde: We have something else called "Kishgev Fufleer".
Everyone (except Brian): All these happy wishes
And lots of Christmas cheer
Is all I really want this year.

Reprise

We can get out of any mess
If we learn to live with less.
And with Santa's love, there's nothing to fear.
All these happy wishes
And lots of Christmas cheer
Is all I really want...
This...
YEAR!!!!!!!
AH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH! AH-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

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